


taste your beating heart

by hipgrab (merrymegtargaryen)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, F/M, I finally did it I wrote a/b/o
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-06-06 13:01:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 45,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15195320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrymegtargaryen/pseuds/hipgrab
Summary: Rey doesn’t necessarily believe that omegas need an alpha in order to be happy. Omegas don’t need alphas any more than alphas need omegas, which is to say, they don’t. But at the same time, she thinks, there is something to be said about non-beta solidarity. Which is how she sort of finds herself bonding with the only other non-beta in the office: an alpha named Ben Solo.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends!! I promised this A/B/O a while ago and now it's finally ready for your eyes!! 
> 
> I don't think I need to set it up, but if you have any questions, just ask!
> 
> I want to give huge, huge thanks to the following people: [shmisolo,](https://shmisolo.tumblr.com)  
> for talking nonstop about A/B/O until I caved and read fic, so I FULLY blame her for my descent into this trope; [ever-so-reylo](https://ever-so-reylo.tumblr.com) for not only writing "Your Pretty Little Heart", the hottest A/B/O fic I've ever read, but for also encouraging my endeavors; and [reylowhispers](https://reylowhispers.tumblr.com) for betaing this fic and being my personal and much-needed cheerleader. This fic would not be possible without you!

Rey doesn’t necessarily believe that omegas  _ need _ an alpha in order to be happy. She’s seen plenty of omegas in happy, fulfilled relationships with betas, and she’s even seen omegas make it work with other omegas. She strongly objects to the stereotype that omegas are only happy when they’re with alphas, and that any non-alpha partner is them just “going through a phase”. She’s been with betas before and she’s been perfectly happy. She’s been with alphas and been perfectly unhappy. So, no, omegas don’t need alphas any more than alphas need omegas, which is to say, they don’t.

But at the same time, she thinks, there is something to be said about non-beta solidarity. 

Her office is entirely made up of betas. That isn’t unusual for a small office in the midwest, but it is kind of a letdown. Betas just don’t  _ get _ it. They think heat leave is some kind of privilege…like anyone would  _ ask _ to go into a lust-induced haze twice a year where you soak through your clothes and can’t stop fucking. They don’t give off much of a scent, making it harder for Rey to understand their emotions and for them to understand hers. And they actually believe some of the stereotypes about alphas and omegas, like that alphas are naturally aggressive and that omegas are clingy and weak. 

Which is how she sort of finds herself bonding with the only other non-beta in the office: an alpha named Ben Solo.

She doesn’t mean to, really. She and Ben have nothing in common aside for the fact that they’re the only two people in the office who aren’t betas. He’s kind of an asshole, prone to shouting and throwing things if he doesn’t get his way, and almost everyone’s afraid of him. Needless to say, Rey doesn’t put any effort into being friendly with him.

But then there’s this one day when Rey is arguing with Snap during a project meeting and they’re both losing their tempers and then Snap says what has got to be one of the most offensive things a beta can say.

“What’s with the attitude? Are you about to go into heat or something?”

There’s a pregnant pause where everyone, Snap included, realizes what a very, very,  _ very _ inappropriate thing was just said. 

It makes Rey’s blood boil. You just don’t  _ say _ that. She’s trying to think of a retort that doesn’t make her look like an over-emotional omega when Ben says in his coldest, scariest voice, “If you have to resort to making ignorant personal comments to get your way, I really don’t think you should be involved with this project.”

Rey feels a rush of affection for Ben, this coworker she barely knows. Alphas, she knows, are just as likely as betas to make disparaging comments about omegas. And it’s not like Ben has shown any sort of friendly interest in her--their interactions have only ever been curt and limited to work. So the fact that he stands up for her means a lot. 

Snap doesn’t say anything for the rest of the meeting; after, however, he pulls Rey aside and apologizes so profusely that she finally tells him she has to use the bathroom just so she can escape. When she finally makes it back to her desk, she sees an email waiting in her inbox.

**_From Ben Solo_ **

**_Hey,_ **

**_Sorry if I got kind of aggressive back there--I knew you were pissed and I didn’t want you to feel alone. I was pissed too. I know you’re capable of standing up for yourself and I wasn’t trying to speak for you, but that doesn’t excuse it. Hope we’re okay._ **

**_Ben_ **

She’s touched that he would apologize for such a small microaggression that really didn’t even bother her. She hits ‘reply’.

_ Hey, _

_ Please don’t apologize, I appreciate you speaking up and not letting me feel alone. We are totally okay.  _

_ One grateful non-beta to another, _

_ Rey _

She glances up after hitting send and sees him smile. Ben Solo never smiles. He types something, and a moment later, she has an email from him.

**_I mean I know everyone else here is a beta, but Snap is...aggressively beta, if you know what I mean._ **

Rey bites back a giggle. 

_ He is! They all are. My first couple weeks here I thought something was wrong with my glands because I can’t scent  _ _ anything _ _ here. _

**_Yeah, me too. I kept getting whiplash walking out of here and actually being able to scent other alphas and omegas._ **

Ben Solo, she decides, is all right. 

It starts off with just a few emails here and there, making jokes that only alphas and omegas would appreciate. Ben, one day, jokingly accuses her of being betaphobic; when Rose, in the desk next to hers, asks what’s so funny, she just says, “An inside joke--it would take too long to explain.” 

They start to chat more in the office, too. Little things like asking if they had any weekend plans, how are things coming with a project, did they hear that NPR piece about doctors prescribing the wrong suppressants.

The first time they have lunch together is Rey’s first day back from heat leave. She’s tired and washed out, feeling very much like she has a hangover, and she just can’t deal with her beta coworkers today. So when it’s time for her lunch break, she grabs her food, marches to the table where Ben is eating alone, and asks, “Mind if I join you?”

He raises his eyebrows but says, “By all means.”

She drops into the seat next to him gratefully, unpacking her lunch. “Thanks.”

She can feel him watching her, but she finds she doesn’t mind as much, because when Ben is watching her, he’s genuinely trying to see if she’s okay. When her other coworkers watch her, they’re trying to see signs of her fading heat.

“You doing okay?” he asks quietly.

She shrugs. “I’m here.”

Ben snorts. “Yeah. I get that.”

She swirls her fork around her noodles. “They keep…”

“Staring?”

She nods. “Yeah.”

Ben nods too. “They’re always like that when I get back from...leave.” He doesn’t have to say  _ rut leave _ because they both know what he means. “It’s like they think they’ll suddenly be able to smell us or something.”

“Oh my god, exactly!” She feels a little better, knowing it isn’t just her imagination. “Or like they think we’ll suddenly...I don’t know...go primal.”

“I think half of that is just wish fulfillment,” Ben says wryly. “‘There’s Rey, maybe she’ll go into heat again and I’ll actually have a chance.’”

Rey freezes. “You think that’s what they’re thinking?” she asks, the pitch of her voice rather higher than she meant it to be.

Ben’s amusement fades at once. “No,” he says. “I was just kidding, I don’t...I’m sure no one here actually thinks that.”

But Rey can tell he’s lying, and it humiliates her to think that anyone here would  _ want _ her to go into heat just so they could fuck her. Because that isn’t even how it  _ works _ . She doesn’t want to fuck the first thing that presents itself, she wants...well, she doesn’t want anyone these days. She’s gone through her heat with betas before and it...well it wasn’t very  _ good _ . They just didn’t get it. And not for lack of trying, but she couldn’t get the relief she needed from them. It made her feel wanton and disgusting, like some animal that was never satisfied with what it was given. Friends and forums have suggested finding an alpha, but the few alphas Rey’s been with outside of her heat scared her, and the idea of letting someone so aggressive fuck her when she’s so vulnerable scares her a  _ lot _ . So she has her heats on her own, and she’s perfectly capable of handling it, and if  _ anyone _ tries to offer their services, she’ll kill them.

“Hey.”

She looks up and sees Ben peering at her, concerned. 

“I’m fine,” she lies, shoveling a forkful of noodles in her mouth. “Just. Feeling shitty.”

He nods, turning back to his food. A moment later, he offers, “I could go full alpha and kick everyone’s asses, if you want.”

She laughs a little. “Hmm, maybe I’ll take you up on that.”

.

She starts taking more lunches with Ben. Not every day, but once a week or so--something that does not go unnoticed by her coworkers.

“What’s up with you and Ben Solo?” Rose asks when Rey is eating with her and Finn one day. Finn doesn’t say anything, but he’s watching Rey intently.

“What do you mean?” Rey asks her, stiffening for reasons she doesn’t really understand.

“I mean...you two never used to get along. Correction: Ben Solo never gets along with  _ anyone _ ,” Rose amends. “And now he’s like. Nice to you and stuff.”

“Yeah, I mean...I dunno.” Rey shrugs. “He’s the only other non-beta in the office.”

“What, so that makes you friends?” Finn asks, uncomprehending.

Rey hates explaining this to betas. They always get...offended, somehow, at the idea of them being...too much or whatever. Rey has discovered that it doesn’t matter how chill a beta might seem, they all want to know what’s so hard about being around them for extended periods of time. So she takes a deep breath. “It’s nice to have coworkers who aren’t betas and to be able to talk to them, that’s all.”

“Why?”

“Finn,” Rose chastises, frowning. She turns back to Rey. “So he’s nice to you because you’re an omega?”

Rey really doesn’t want to be having this conversation. “It’s not...it sounds weird when you say it like that. Like he’s...like he’s trying to claim me as his, or something. Ben is nice to me because we both know what it’s like to be the only one of our kind in this office and it’s nice to commiserate.”

“Commiserate?” Finn echoes. 

“Can we not talk about this?” Rey asks. “Really, I’m...it’s putting me in a weird spot.” 

Finn and Rose drop the subject, though not without some reluctance on Finn’s part. Rey kvetches about it to Ben as soon as she’s back at her computer.

_ Finn and Rose want to know why we’re friends, and when I tried to explain that it’s nice having friends who aren’t betas, they got, like, royally offended. _

Ben’s reply is immediate.

**_Rey, it sounds like you’re being betaphobic :( Don’t you like being surrounded by betas constantly? :(_ **

His reply takes some of the tension off her shoulders. 

_ You’re right, guess I’m just being a needy omega! _

She watches Ben to see his reaction; she sees him read her email and then turn to her with a smirk. She grins at him and turns back to her computer, only to catch Rose giving her a weird look. Her grin fades and she clears her throat, pulling up the spreadsheet she was working on earlier. A new email alert appears in the lower right hand corner of her screen but she decides to ignore it for now.

.

Ben isn’t at work.

That in and of itself is pretty unusual, because Ben doesn’t get sick. He’s the kind of asshole who works out regularly and drinks kale smoothies. Getting sick just isn’t something that happens to him. 

Kaydel, the administrative assistant, sends an email that just says “out sick”; when Rey asks her about it, the younger woman shrugs. 

“He emailed me this morning and told me he’d be out sick today and maybe tomorrow. That’s all I know.”

She shoots Ben an email.

_ You okay?  _

He doesn’t respond until the afternoon of the next day. Rey has, in the meantime, assumed he’d gotten a virus or something, but his email tells her differently.

_ I was in rut. Seems to be over now, but...yeah. _

He can’t see her, but Rey winces sympathetically anyway. Unlike heat, rut can happen at any time. Thankfully, it usually doesn’t last as long as heats, but she imagines it’s still a bitch and a half to deal with. At least she  _ knows _ when she’ll go into heat.

He’s back the following day, looking washed out. Rey initially decides to give him space, but after seeing the calculating looks of their coworkers, she knows he’ll appreciate the company at lunch.

“How are you doing?” she asks him when they sit down together. The weather is nice, so they’ve chosen to eat outside, on the ledge of the patio and far away from the others.

Ben shrugs. “Okay.”

She hesitates to ask him the next question and then decides, fuck it, they’re friends.

“Did you have anyone to…?”

He shakes his head. “Nah.”

“That sucks,” she says with no small amount of sympathy--she imagines rut without someone to help is not unlike going through heat alone. 

“Yeah.” He still seems down. 

“I don’t...have anyone, either, when I go through my heat,” she offers. “So I...I get it.”

This makes him look up in surprise. “Ever, or…?”

She shrugs. “Yeah. I don’t enjoy it.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” he says, setting down his fork. “You go through  _ all _ your heats… _ alone _ ?”

“Yes,” she says, hackles rising, because sure, he knows what it’s like to be a non-beta, but he doesn’t get what it’s like to be an omega and still has a lot of alpha privilege he probably needs to unpack.

“Isn’t that…doesn’t that…”

“I don’t need anyone during my heats,” she says coolly. 

She can sense him pulling back. “Okay,” he mumbles.

She sighs. “I’ve done it with...betas before, but it wasn’t...it’s supposedly easier with an…alpha, but I just. I don’t know.” She stares down at her salad. “It’s this time when you’re like…really…vulnerable, I guess? And I don’t want to just find a random alpha to…you know…”

“Right.”

She shrugs. “It’s just, I don’t know, easier if I manage it on my own.”

They’re quiet for a long moment, and Rey is starting to worry that maybe she’s overshared, when he says, “I should introduce you to some alphas.”

She rolls her eyes. “Ben…”

“No, I mean...just...someone to have around for when that time comes,” he explains. “I just...I don’t think you should have to be on your own for that.”

“Your alpha is showing.”

“Fine,” he says, looking unperturbed. “But I don’t need to remind you how bad the recovery is if you go into heat without an alpha.”

She hesitates. “So that’s...sort of the other thing.”

Ben blinks. “Ah. You’ve never been with an alpha before.”

“I have,” she says quickly. “Just not during my heat.”

He considers this. “Why not? If you don’t mind my asking…?”

“No, it’s okay.” She hesitates. “I didn’t...like it very much?”

“Okay.” Pause. “What...didn’t you like about it?”

God, how to explain to an alpha what she doesn’t like about having sex with alphas? “I don’t know, it was like...they were totally cool up until we had sex, you know? Like they didn’t...they didn’t make me feel like they were with me  _ because _ I’m an omega. But then we’d have sex and it was like...they wouldn’t stop calling me their omega. They wouldn’t do anything I asked, it was all about...they kept saying they’d give me what I needed, but it wasn’t even what I  _ wanted _ .” She still gets angry when she remembers the way they’d made her feel so small and helpless, how she’d only gone submissive and let them do what they wanted because she was afraid of doing anything else.

He’s quiet for so long that she’s afraid he’s not taking that information well, but then he says, “I’m sorry you had that experience. Alphas can be...like that. They-- _ we _ \--don’t really...I mean we  _ can _ be with betas, it just...isn’t the same.” His face is red and he’s determinedly not looking at her. “It’s a lot harder to find omegas now that...you know…”

“We know we don’t need alphas?” she asks wryly.

He shrugs. “Yeah. They have to get...creative...to attract omegas.”

“Great,” she mutters.

“I can...introduce you to alphas who aren’t like that,” he says. “I have friends, people I trust, who wouldn’t...they wouldn’t hurt you.”

Rey considers him. “You know, I genuinely can’t tell if this is you being a nosy friend or you being a nosy alpha.”

“Probably a little of both,” he admits. “Blame it on whatever you like, I just...I feel bad knowing you go through that. Alone.”

“Don’t know what I’m missing, do I?” she says with far more candor than she feels.

“Rey...

“No, I…” She clears her throat. “I’m...sure you know what omegas are like in heat. It’s...I’m not myself. I’m not used to people seeing me so vulnerable.”

“I get that,” he says, and she can tell that he’s speaking from experience. “But alphas don’t...trust me, it’s not...the kind of thing we’d judge an omega for. At all.”

She shakes her head. The betas who helped her through her heat always treated her differently after. They weren’t... _ disgusted _ , exactly, but they couldn’t reconcile Everyday Rey with In Heat Rey. 

As if reading her mind, Ben says, “I’m guessing your beta partners didn’t fully understand it.”

She shakes her head again. “No, they didn’t.”

“I do,” he tells her. “Rey, I...I get it. I know what it’s like to have your biology take over your personality.” 

She flushes, because of course he does. Alphas don’t go into rut with the same regularity or intensity as omegas, but it still happens. “Right.”

“You can think about it,” he says, going back to his food. “And if it...sounds appealing, let me know. Otherwise I’ll drop it.”

She’s got to be honest--it does sound a little appealing. She’s still wary--just because they’re cool to their fellow alpha doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be respectful partners--but the idea of having an alpha who’s been approved by her alpha friend help her through the most miserable times of the year while also eliminating the need for heat recovery  _ is _ tempting.

“I’ll think about it,” she allows. 

And she does think about it. She talks to her omega friends and ventures onto forums, and the consensus all seems to be the same: heats with alphas are superior to all other experiences.

There is advice for those who can’t get hold of an alpha or don’t want to: tricks beta partners can do, toys that replicate the knotting sensation. But these are almost always from people who are either mated with a beta or find themselves in a bind. 

**_Heat with an alpha is so much smoother,_ ** one user says.  **_It usually goes by faster and the recovery is nonexistent--no hangover._ **

When she’s read enough and is feeling bolder, Rey asks her questions.

_ I’ve never been in heat with an alpha before but it sounds like something I need to try. I’ve had bad experiences with alphas in general, but one of my friends (alpha) has offered to introduce me to alphas he trusts. Should I take him up on this? _

The first person to respond asks,

**_Is there a reason this friend can’t help you himself?_ **

Rey hesitates. That would be weird, wouldn’t it?

_ He’s also a coworker, and I don’t want to make things weird between us _ .

**_I’ve gone into heat and had friends and coworkers get me through it--trust me, it doesn’t make anything weird._ **

Others seem to agree.

_ Alphas don’t get weird about it like betas do. It’s like their instinct to get us through it. Trust me, 90% of alphas won’t make it weird after.  _

**_Most alphas love no-strings-attached heats._ **

_ I’m an omega mated to a beta, but my partner understands that heat is really rough without an alpha. We have a friend who gets me through all my heats. Perfectly nice guy, has never once made me or my mate feel uncomfortable with our setup.  _

**_I’m sure things wouldn’t be as weird between you and your friend as you’re imagining, but if it’s important to you, definitely meet his friends. They’re already vetted and they’re probably looking for the same thing as you--fucking it out._ **

Rey brings it up with Ben next time they have lunch together--outdoors, of course, loath to be overheard. 

“So I’ve been thinking about your...offer,” she says, looking determinedly at her macaroni salad. 

“About…?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah.” 

They’re both quiet for a moment.

“And?”

She takes a deep breath. “I’d be...down to meet your friends.”

He nods. “Okay. Cool.”

She shifts. “I want...to make some things clear first.”

“Okay.” He sets down his food. “I’m listening.”

She sets down her food, too. “I really just want this to be a...no strings attached kind of thing. I don’t want to be...friends with them, because I don’t think I can handle...someone seeing me like that and then just...carrying on as if nothing’s changed after. I know most alphas won’t care, but... _ I’ll _ care.”

Ben nods. “Okay. That shouldn’t be hard to arrange.”

Her shoulders sag in relief. “Thank you.”

“Do you...are you straight?”

She turns red, but it is a valid question. “Bi, actually.”

“Good,” he says. “I have a friend, she...she’s trans, and she still has...her knot. I’ve never slept with her, obviously, but apparently omega women...like her.”

Rey’s cheeks flush. She’s been with beta women before, but not alpha women, and the thought intrigues her. Maybe she’ll have a better time of it being with a woman. 

“Uh, sure,” she says. “Okay, yeah.”

“Great.” He pulls out his phone and begins texting. “I’ll see if she’s free this weekend. We can...get drinks or something.”

“Okay.” She stabs at her macaroni salad. “Are you gonna tell her...why?”

“I have a feeling she’ll hit on you regardless,” he says, still thumbing through his phone. “As soon as she realizes you and I aren’t bonded, she’ll probably start trying to seduce you.”

That makes Rey remember the advice she’d gotten from the forum. “You know, when I was asking around, people kept asking why I didn’t...why you weren’t just helping me with my heat.”

His hand stills on his phone. “I could,” he says, not looking at her. “But I didn’t want to offer because it felt...inappropriate.”

“Yeah,” she says, relieved he feels this way. “I mean, we’re coworkers, it would be...it would be weird, wouldn’t it?” When he doesn’t answer right away, she panics and adds, “Not because I...not because  _ you _ ...I just...I don’t like for people to see me...I wouldn’t be able to look you in the eye after seeing me so pathetic--”

“It’s not pathetic,” he says, finally lifting his eyes to her and frowning. “Rey, heat is  _ normal _ . Your body is supposed to do it. Why would anyone find you pathetic for that?”

Her face is on fire. “I don’t know, you can ask my exes.”

His face hardens. “Your exes were shitty.” He moves closer to her. “Rey, I  _ promise _ I won’t hook you up with someone who makes you feel pathetic after--and that includes myself. Just. For the record.”

Rey tries to imagine Ben fucking her. Not the act itself so much as him being naked with her for days, putting his cock inside her and knotting her, and then seeing her in the office the next day and acting like nothing had ever happened. She doesn’t think she could do that. Even if heat is something she’s wired to do, even if alphas and omegas hook up all the time to sate their own biology and they wouldn’t be the first coworkers to help each other out, she just doesn’t think she’s capable of it. It seems too heartless.

“I’ll let you know what she says,” Ben says after a long moment of silence while Rey stares at her macaroni salad. 

She nods. “Thank you.”

“Yeah.” He pockets his phone. “What are friends for?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy cow!! Your responses to this fic have been incredible!! Thank you all so, so much!!

Ben’s friend agrees to meet them for drinks on Saturday night. Rey feels a rush of nerves when he tells her this.

**_It’ll be fine. I’ll be there the whole time._ **

She’s still thinking about it, wondering if it’s too late to back out, when she gets lunch with Finn and Rose on Friday. Rose is telling them both about the concert she and her sister are going to this weekend when she asks, “So, Rey, you got any weekend plans?”

_ Yes, Ben--you remember our coworker Ben?--is trying to set me up with his alpha friends so that I’ll have someone to call when I go into heat. Same old, same old. _

“I’m...meeting someone,” she admits, because it feels disingenuous not to say something.

Their eyes widen.

“Who?” Finn asks with friendly curiosity. 

“I don’t know who,” she says. “It’s...a friend of a friend.”

“Ooh, like a blind date?” Rose asks. “You know, you never hear of those anymore. It used to be a big thing, but it never really happens now that we have online dating. That’s so exciting!”

“Yeah, it is,” Rey says, feeling a little relieved at Rose’s enthusiasm. 

“Well, you’ve gotta tell us what they’re like,” Rose says. “What about you, Finn? Anything doing this weekend?”

He says something about taking his car to the mechanic, but Rey isn’t really listening--she’s wondering how much she’ll actually be able to tell her friends.

.

Rey can barely sleep that night. She likes to spend her Saturday mornings doing laundry and jogging, the things she has to do and can’t drag herself to do on weekdays, but it’s so late by the time she falls asleep that she stays in bed until noon. 

She spends her afternoon doing chores and running errands, anything to take her mind off of her impending not-date. It’s a relief to finally get in the car and drive to the bar, because that means her anxiety will stop creating horrible scenarios in her head.

Ben is waiting at a table. He lifts a hand to her in greeting and Rey sees that he’s wearing flannel. It looks...surprisingly good on him. Objectively, she knows Ben is attractive, but it’s sort of startling to see him out of his usual business casual clothes and dressed...what, like a person? She can see a few women eyeing him and wonders if he’s noticed.

“Hi,” she says, slipping into the chair beside his. 

“Hi.” He looks her over. “You seem...distressed.”

She folds her hands on the tabletop. “I am.”

“About...this?”

She nods.

A server comes over to take their drink order; as soon as she’s gone, Ben leans back to consider Rey. “If you’d rather go home, I can make an excuse…”

Rey shakes her head. “No, it...it’ll be good. For me. I just haven’t dated anyone in a while, and I haven’t dated alphas in...a really long time.”

Before either of them can say anything else, a tall blonde woman approaches the table. She’s beautiful and terrifying and smells distinctly alpha. 

“Hello,” she says in a proper English accent, which both surprises Rey and, for some reason, terrifies her.

“Hi, Phas.” Ben turns his gaze to Rey. “Rey, this is my friend Phasma. Phasma, this is Rey.”

Phasma takes Rey’s hand. Hers is cold and strong, squeezing none too gently as if to remind Rey who is the dominant being here. Rey feels a flicker of irritation at the gesture, because come on, they all know their designations--it’s not like this woman who  _ looms _ over Rey (she must, Rey decides, be at  _ least _ six feet, probably a little taller) has anything to prove. It’s one of the things she doesn’t like about alphas as a rule--the constant need to assert themselves even in situations where they one hundred percent don’t need to assert themselves.

“Nice to meet you,” Rey says politely.

“Likewise.” Phasma takes the seat on Ben’s other side and immediately launches into a rant about work. Phasma, as it turns out, works for a high power law firm, something she brings up several times.

“...and anyway I told him that if he won’t make me a partner in the next five years, I’m leaving the firm and forming one of my own, I certainly have enough clients and more balls--literally and figuratively--than he ever will, and he put up such a fuss but I know he’ll do it.” She sips from her vodka soda. “So. You two work together?”

“Um, yeah,” Rey says, seeing that Ben is trying to let her do most of the talking. “We’re both on the marketing team.”

“That’s interesting,” Phasma says, but doesn’t elaborate. 

Rey throws a look at Ben, who hurriedly intervenes with, “Rey’s from England, too.”

“So I noticed.” Phasma leans back in her seat. “What part?”

“Westminster, originally, but I grew up all over London. What about you?” 

“West Sussex.”

“Oh.” Rey’s never been to West Sussex. She never left London, really, not until she moved to New York. “Where did you go to school?”

“Oxford,” Phasma says breezily. “You?”

“NYU,” she says in her most casual voice. Most people give her grief for it (“So what are you doing  _ here _ ?”), and Phasma is no exception.

“So what brought you  _ here _ ?”

“The job,” Rey says honestly. “Did a couple internships postgrad, and one of my supervisors used to work here so.” She gestures vaguely. “Here I am.”

“How long have you been here?” Phasma asks, her eyes flickering to Ben.

“Um, about a year and a half.” 

Phasma is giving Ben a look that seems to be bothering him a great deal but Rey can’t understand at all. “ _ Really _ ? That long?”

“Uh...yeah.” Rey glances between them. “Am I...missing something?”

“Maybe,” Phasma says mysteriously. “How’s the dating pool now that you’re out of the city? Shallow, I’d imagine.”

“Um, yeah, actually,” Rey says, relieved that Ben and Phasma aren’t staring at each other anymore in what she can only imagine is some weird alpha thing. “I haven’t really dated at all since moving here.”

“I know what you mean.” Phasma takes a sip of her vodka soda. “This isn’t a terribly conservative area, but it isn’t exactly progressive, either.”

“Yeah,” Rey agrees, warming up. “Everyone’s so…”

“Beta.”

“Exactly!” She smiles at Ben. “We’re the only two non-betas in the office.”

Phasma looks amused. “That doesn’t surprise me. Do you date betas?”

“Sometimes,” Rey says, steeling herself. She knows there are a lot of alphas who won’t sleep with omegas who have been with betas because they’re “tarnished” or some such bullshit. “Greedy” and “can’t make up their minds” are also phrases commonly thrown around.

Phasma surveys her. “Well, we have to take what we can get around here, I suppose.”

They order another round of drinks, and while Ben and Phasma are talking about sports (something in which Rey has little interest), she excuses herself to the restroom. She’s just come out of the stall to wash her hands when she sees Phasma leaning against the counter, clearly waiting for her. Rey’s heart begins to pound.

“Hello,” she says calmly, walking over to the sink. 

“I’m leaving,” Phasma tells her.

Rey looks at her in the mirror. “Oh…?”

“It’s not you. Except, well, it is,” the other woman says, examining her reflection. “But it’s mostly Ben.”

Rey furrows her brow. “I don’t understand…?”

Phasma shakes her head. “No, you probably don’t. I’m debating whether I should be the one to break the news or if I should just let Ben alpha up and do it.”

“What are you talking about?” Rey asks. 

Phasma purses her lips. “You know, I think I will let Ben do it. You’re lovely,” she adds, resting a hand on Rey’s shoulder. “And under normal circumstances, I’d love to fuck you through your heat.” She withdraws her hand. “But Ben will never forgive me if I do, and his friendship is more important to me.” She heads for the door. “It was nice meeting you, Rey.”

Rey stands at the sink for a long moment, replaying their exchange over and over in her head. What does she mean? Why would Ben not forgive Phasma? 

When she finally dries her hands and heads back to the table, Phasma is indeed gone. Ben looks up at her guiltily.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “She just…”

“She told me in the loo.” Rey takes her seat. 

Ben’s eyes widen. “What did she tell you?”

For some reason, Rey feels like she shouldn’t tell Ben about what Phasma told her. What was it Phasma had said?  _ Or if I should just let Ben alpha up and do it _ . What did that mean? “She just said it wouldn’t work out.” 

He seems to relax back into his chair. “Oh.”

“What did she say to you?” she asks, fiddling with her whiskey sour.

He jerks his shoulders. “Just said it wouldn’t work out.”

Rey knows he’s not telling the truth, and she’s pretty sure  _ he _ knows that she knows. But she doesn’t push it. “Oh well,” she says, shrugging. “Back to the ol’ drawing board, I guess.”

Something flickers in his eyes. “I’m really sorry, Rey.”

She shrugs again. “It’s okay. I’ve never had great luck with alphas, why start now?”

“I’m really sorry,” he says again. “I thought...I thought you two would be good together.”

“Ben, it’s really okay.” She gives him a small smile. “I’m not upset.” And she isn’t, really. Confused, certainly, but Phasma didn’t have to follow her into the bathroom and give her an excuse, vague though it was. She could have just left, but instead she chose to let Rey know that it wouldn’t work out because of Ben. Though why that should matter still doesn’t make sense to Rey.

“I’ll find someone for you,” he  promises. “Someone better.”

“It’s  _ really okay _ ,” she says emphatically. 

He shakes his head. “I told you I’d find someone for you, so I will.”

“Okay, but don’t stress about it,” she tells him. “I’ve gone through heats by myself before, I can go through them alone again.”

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t have to, not when there are perfectly good alphas out there.” He runs his fingers through his hair.

“I shouldn’t have to need alphas at all,” she mumbles. “I shouldn’t have  _ heats _ . You’d think the human body would have evolved past that by now.”

His lips twitch. “Fair enough.” 

She sighs. “Can we talk about something else please?”

So they talk about their coworkers, a subject of which they never tire, and then about the shows they’ve been watching and how so many of the problems would be fixed if they’d just hire non-beta writers. 

They don’t stay out late--they’re both driving, so they only have a couple drinks before wrapping up and heading home. Ben walks Rey out to her car, and she can’t decide if it’s annoyingly alpha or touchingly friendly. She decides to find it touchingly friendly, even if the hand hovering at her back is probably more alpha than friend.

“Well,” she says, unlocking her car. “See you Monday.”

“Yeah...see you Monday.” He lingers in the parking lot, hands in his pockets as he watches her back out and pull out of the parking lot. 

_ What did Phasma mean? _ What’s the news Ben has to break to her and why does it mean Phasma can’t see Rey through her heat? Is this some alpha thing she doesn’t understand? It must be, because there’s no other explanation for Phasma’s odd behavior. 

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A of all, I know I am way behind on responding to comments and I'm SORRY, I promise I'll get around to as much as I can when I can. 
> 
> B of all, my mom is gonna be in town this weekend, which means I almost definitely won't be able to update until next week instead of my usual five days. Thank you for your patience <3
> 
> C of all, a lot of you have asked about a Phasma/Rey AU, and uh...I am mightily tempted ;)
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey is still thinking about her weird interaction with Phasma on Monday, so much so that she can barely pay attention when Rose tells her and Finn over lunch about the concert she and her sister went to. 

“But what about your weekend, Rey?” Rose asks when she’s done. “How was your blind date?!”

“Oh,” Rey says, pushing her salad around with her fork. “Um, it didn’t work out.”

“Oh no,” Rose says, jutting out her lower lip. “What happened?”

“You know, honestly, I don’t know,” she says, looking up at both of them. “They said something about...our mutual friend who introduced us.”

“What about your friend?” Finn wants to know.

“I don’t know, it was like...they said he’d never forgive them.” She hopes they don’t ask about the “they” pronouns she keeps using--being an omega is hard enough, but being a bisexual omega… “I don’t get it.”

Rose bites her lip. “Maybe your friend has a thing for you.”

Rey wrinkles her nose. “I don’t think that’s it.”

“Are you sure?” Rose presses. 

“Yeah,” Finn pipes up. “It sounds like this person didn’t want to ruin their friendship over you.”

“That’s...that’s so not what’s going on,” Rey insists. “This friend is  _ just _ a friend. And he’s the one who offered to set me up with his...friend.”

“Maybe to hide his crush,” Finn says wisely. “Or he’s trying to get over you or something.”

“That’s stupid,” Rey says, because Ben...Ben doesn’t like her. They’re friends.  _ Friends _ .

“No, I’m with Finn,” Rose says, and there’s a flicker of something unidentifiable across her face. “He probably doesn’t want to ruin your friendship, so he’s trying to set you up with someone else, who knows he has a thing for you and doesn’t want to ruin their friendship by taking the girl he likes.”

Rey is presented with two troubling thoughts, the first being that Rose sounds as if she’s speaking from experience on the whole not-wanting-to-ruin-a-friendship thing. The second is that it makes...sense. What Phasma said, the  _ way _ she’d said it...it fits. Even Phasma’s interest in how long Rey has been at her current job makes sense--she’d wanted to know how long Ben has had a thing for her and hasn’t acted on it. 

_ But it’s Ben, _ she tells herself.  _ He  _ can’t _ have a thing for me. He’s an alpha and I’m an omega, if he wanted me, he could’ve...made a move or something. _ And then she remembers what Finn said about him not wanting to ruin a friendship. Ben and Rey are the only two non-betas in the office--most of their friendship is built on that. If he did make a move and she wasn’t interested or they’d gotten together and things didn’t work out, things would be...well, things would be  _ weird _ , and that’s what Rey has been trying to avoid. 

“Fuck,” she says out loud.

Finn grins. “Told you.”

Rey puts her hand to her head. 

“What about him?” Rose presses. “Do you like him?”

“I don’t know,” she admits in mortification. She’s always thought of Ben as attractive, but he’s an attractive guy. She likes his smell, but a lot of alphas smell nice. She likes talking to him, but he’s her friend. She feels safe around him, but she’s always chalked that up to their biology. 

She tries to imagine dating Ben. Holding his hand in the park, cuddled up beside him watching a movie. Burying her face in the pillows while he pounds into her from behind, murmuring, “That’s my good little omega.”  _ No _ , she thinks quickly, her face turning red as her underwear becomes unaccountably damp. She is  _ not _ getting turned on by the thought of Ben Solo fucking her. Except she totally is. Because holy  _ shit _ , he’d be so good in bed. With that body and that quiet intensity…

Rose is smirking at her. “Looks like you do.”

“I don’t,” Rey says firmly. “Even if...even if I did, I wouldn’t...it would be weird. We’re friends.”

“You’re friends who are both hot for each other,” Finn says bluntly. “And you should do yourselves a favor and hook up.”

She hates this. She hates this  _ so much _ . “Let’s talk about something else,” she says. “I heard Snap is engaged. Who do you think the unlucky person is?”

Finn and Rose are clearly reluctant to let the topic slide, but Rey doesn’t want to keep talking about Ben, so they join in her speculations about where Snap might have met his betrothed and what had compelled them to enter into matrimony with easily one of the most annoying people in the office. 

When Rey gets back to her desk, she has an email from Ben.

**_Talked to another friend--he said he can get dinner and drinks on Wednesday night if you’re free/still willing to give it a shot._ **

She turns immediately to Rose.

“So...my friend,” she says, bracing herself.

Rose instantly lights up. “Yes?”

“He said he’s found someone else for me.” Rey blinks. “What do you think that means?”

“It means he’s still trying to get over you,” Rose says matter-of-factly. 

“Are you  _ sure _ ?”

Rose shrugs. “Obviously I can’t know 100% since I don’t know your friend, but yeah, I’d say it’s pretty likely.”

An idea occurs to her. “What if the person he tried to set me up with just  _ thinks _ he’s into me, and he isn’t really?”

Rose clearly doesn’t believe this. “I mean. It’s possible. But less likely than your friend actually having a crush on you.”

Rey turns to her inbox and composes a reply.

_ Wednesday works. _

.

Ben offers to drive them both to the bar and grill after work on Wednesday. Rey kind of wishes she’d get to go home and change into something cuter than her office-appropriate clothing first, but that would put her in too much of a rush.

When she climbs into Ben’s car, she’s overcome by the delicious aroma. She forgets that normally, they sit across a well-ventilated office from each other, and most of their lunches are outside or in a big, open room. At the bar on Saturday, they’d been in a big, crowded room full of other people and other scents. But in his car, it’s just Ben, and his smell is like. Really good. 

They both discreetly roll down their windows, just enough to get a breeze going. She wonders if her scent is as distracting to Ben as his is to hers. 

God,  _ how has she never noticed how good he smells before? _ She feels strangely calm and...hungry. Like she wants more. 

_ Want to smell like him, _ some animalistic part of her thinks. 

_ Fuck off, _ she says internally. She hates her biology.  _ Hates _ it _. _

“So tell me about this friend,” she says, trying to make conversation.

Ben takes a deep breath. “He’s...it’s hard to describe Hux. We went to college together. We were such assholes to each other, and after a while I realized we’d become, like, friends because of it. We never stopped being assholes to each other, though.”

“So he’s an asshole?” she says dryly.

“No, he’s nice to everyone else. Well. Almost. He will  _ definitely _ be nice to you,” Ben reassures her. The  _ because you’re an omega _ is silent but understood nonetheless. Rey doesn’t know if that’s comforting or not.

They get a table and order chips and salsa. Ben checks his phone.

“He says he’s running behind and to order without him.”

“Should we?” she asks uncertainly. It would be polite to wait, but her stomach is growling.

“Let’s get through the chips and salsa and see what happens.”

Rey tries not to eat too ravenously, considering she’s wearing a white blouse, but the chips and salsa don’t last long. There’s still no sign of Hux and no text from him, so they decide to order entrees.

“Maybe I’m being stood up,” Rey jokes.

“You’re not,” Ben says, but he doesn’t sound terribly confident. “Probably just stuck in traffic.”

Rey doesn’t comment on the fact that it’s now nearly 6:30. Instead, she mentions the podcast she’s been listening to, which she’s pleased to learn Ben also listens to. They’re halfway through their entrees, on another topic entirely, when she realizes Hux still isn’t here. She doesn’t say anything because honestly, she’s having a nice time, and she knows Ben will just get anxious if she points out that Hux still isn’t here and, unless he’s been in a car crash or something, is almost definitely standing her up. 

“How do we feel about dessert?” their server asks when she comes to clear away their plates.

“I don’t know--” Ben says at the same time Rey says, “Yes please.”

Ben looks at her like he thinks she’s adorable. Rey doesn’t quite know what to make of that.

They end up splitting a brownie with ice cream, though Rey eats most of it. Ben is still giving her that look, and she wonders if maybe Rose is right and Ben  _ does _ have a thing for her. He certainly doesn’t seem upset that his friend isn’t here.

When the server comes back with the check, Ben swiftly hands her his credit card. Rey tries to hand her hers, too, but he shakes his head.

“Don’t pay for me!” she says incredulously, but the server is already heading to the cash register.

“I’m the one who dragged you here and then that prick didn’t even show up,” Ben says, looking entirely unruffled. “So I should pay for your dinner.”

“Are you sure it’s not just an alpha pride thing?”

His lips twitch. “Maybe.”

She sticks her card back in her wallet. “Fine. But next time I pay.”

“Mm, I don’t know if my alpha pride will allow that.”

“It had fucking better. We work at the same place, you know, I can afford the same things as you.”

He looks like he’s about to say something and then thinks better of it. “Okay. Next time, you pay.”

She leans back, satisfied. 

“I’m sorry Hux didn’t show up,” he says, looking serious. “This isn’t like him.”

“It’s okay,” she says, shrugging. “Your friends just don’t like me, apparently.”

He winces. “It’s not--”

“It’s okay,” she says quickly. “I’m really not...I mean, I don’t even know Hux and he doesn’t know me, I’m not personally offended. I still had a good time tonight.”

Ben seems to relax. “Okay. I’m still kicking his ass.”

She laughs. “That is your prerogative.” 

After he’s signed the receipt, they head out to his car. Rey is full of good food, and the scent in his car only makes her feel more content.

“This was fun,” she says as he drives them back to the office. “We should hang out just the two of us more often.”

Ben is quiet for a long moment. “Yeah,” he says at last. “We should.”

.

Rose and Finn ask Rey about the “date” over lunch the next day. 

“The guy never showed up,” Rey says quietly. “Didn’t give an explanation.”

Rose’s eyes nearly bug out of her head. “Shut  _ up _ .”

Rey nods. “I know, he texted to say he’d be late and then he just. Didn’t show up.”

“Rey,” Finn says as if he’s talking to a child. “He was never going to show up.”

Rey frowns. “What?” 

“Oh, come on, Rey! It was clearly an excuse for him to be alone with you!”

Rey’s mouth falls open. “Nuh-uh.”

“Yeah-huh!” Rose is practically bouncing. “Did he seem worried that his friend hadn’t shown up?”

Rey pales, remembering how long it had taken either of them to acknowledge Hux’s absence, and how neither of them had seemed particularly upset about it. “Not...not really…”

Rose gives her a triumphant look. “Totally trying to get you alone.”

Rey buries her face in her hands. Ben Solo might actually be into her. 

.

“Okay, but you’re into him, too, aren’t you?” Rose presses when they’re in the bathroom on Friday. “Like, at the very least, you want to have sex with him.”

She does. Rey didn’t fully accept this until this morning, when she’d woken up after dreaming about Ben eating her out, his dark eyes gazing up into hers as he’d licked her cunt.  _ Good little omega, _ he’d murmured, and god, that has  _ never _ been her thing before, but it sounded so hot coming from dream-Ben. She’d been too aroused to just shrug it off and had ended up rubbing herself off in the shower, something she  _ never _ does because she’s never that awake in the mornings. She feels like everyone knows she touched herself to thoughts of Ben Solo--surely, she thinks, they can smell it. 

“Initiate a hangout with him. This weekend,” Rose says. “Just the two of you. See what happens.”

But Rey isn’t sure if she really does want anything to happen. However she might feel about Ben (and really, that’s something she’s still trying to figure out beyond his ability to make her underwear damp), he’s still her coworker, and if anything goes poorly, she’ll have to face him every day. Even if he is into her the way Finn and Rose insist he is, and even if she’s into him too, there are so many ways it could go wrong. So no, she decides, she’s not going to initiate anything.

As it turns out, she doesn’t have to, because an email from Ben is waiting in her inbox. 

**_Do you maybe want to get drinks tomorrow?_ **

This has to be, she decides, some kind of sign. 

_ Sure! Did you have anything specific in mind? _

His response is instantaneous.

**_There’s a bar I like in walking distance of my place._ **

Rey is very okay with this, and the fact that the bar is near his place does not escape her notice. It would be so easy for her to go back to his place and just...spend the night. Maybe that’s his plan. Maybe Rey is okay with that.

_ That sounds good. Send me the address and I’ll figure it out. _

He does, and Rey puts it into her phone’s map. Even if nothing happens between her and Ben, it will be fun, because he’s her friend. 

And if they happen to have sex, then so be it. Rey is willing to let things get weird.

.

She takes extra care dressing on Saturday night. It’s warm out, so she chooses a sundress with spaghetti straps. She doesn’t own any underwear that matches, but she selects a nude bra and lacy pink underwear she’d bought when she was dating someone and decides that it’ll have to be good enough, and then she chastises herself because  _ she doesn’t even know if sex is on the table _ . But then of course that makes her think of Ben bending her over a table and, well, she can think about that later.

He’s standing outside when she pulls up. He’s wearing a v-neck t-shirt and jeans, and even though he’s dressed far more casually than he would be at the office, he looks nicer, somehow. 

_ Or maybe you’re just thirsty _ , she tells herself. That’s probably true--his t-shirt allows her to see his muscles, something she’s always been faintly aware of but has never paid that much attention to. Now, she can’t stop noticing them. 

“You look nice,” he tells her when she gets out of the car. 

She tries not to blush. “So do you.”

He grins. “I’m wearing a t-shirt.”

“It’s a good t-shirt.”  _ You dumb, thirsty bitch _ .

The walk to the bar is a short one. It’s a little rowdy inside, being a Saturday night, but Ben has no problem getting them to a relatively secluded corner by the bar. They start off sipping drinks, just chatting, and Rey keeps thinking that she’ll ask him about Hux’s no-show, or what Phasma meant, or even just flat-out, “Hey Ben, do you like me? Because if so, I would be down to fuck,” but then she keeps thinking,  _ I need another drink first _ , and that’s how she accidentally finds herself well and truly drunk.

“All I’m saying is,” she says, swaying, “the American healthcare system is fucked up and we are like,  _ required _ to be on suppressants, but then you have to  _ pay _ for them, but not everyone can  _ pay _ for them, so then you have these stories on the news of like, alphas who were arrested for having aggressive behavior, but it’s like, without the money to buy suppressants, of course they’ll be aggressive! And no one  _ cares _ !”

Ben is grinning at her. Like a full-out, open-mouthed grin. 

“What?” she demands.

“You’re really cute,” he tells her. “Please rant some more about the American healthcare system.”

“I have to pee first.” She knows she shouldn’t pee yet, because she’ll break the seal if she does, but she  _ really _ has to go. 

“You gonna be okay?” he asks.

“I’m not  _ that _ drunk,” she huffs.

But as soon as she stands up from where she’s been squatting over the toilet, she realizes that yes, she  _ is _ that drunk. The room lurches oddly under her feet, and she has to focus hard on her reflection in the mirror to really see it. She’s surprisingly red faced, but she thinks she looks cute, so she snaps a selfie. Then she walks back out to where she and Ben have been hanging out, trying to walk gracefully but somehow not quite managing it. 

“Ben,” she says, taking care to enunciate. “I believe I am very drunk.”

He laughs. “What led you to this conclusion?”

“You’re spinning.”

He leans over the bar to ask the bartender something; a moment later, he’s handing her a glass of water.

“God bless you,” she says, taking two enormous gulps of the stuff. She’s almost embarrassed at her inebriated state, but she’s had a  _ lot _ to drink and she doesn’t have much body mass. And anyway, it’s not as if Ben seems to mind; he’s definitely at least a little drunk (though, apparently, not as much as she is) and keeps grinning at her, so clearly he doesn’t think her inebriation is something about which she should be embarrassed. And she  _ knows _ she’s messy right now, so the fact that he’s still grinning at her and getting her water without making her feel like a helpless little omega is really nice. She wants to articulate this to him, but halfway up her throat the words get muddled and she ends up saying, “You’re good.”

“I’m good?” he repeats, leaning down so he can hear her better. He rests one hand on her back, and she can’t tell if that’s to steady him or her.

“You’re a good  _ person _ ,” she tries again. “I don’t like drinking with people because I get  _ sloppy _ . Like right now. I’m being  _ sloppy _ . But you aren’t treating me like I’m  _ sloppy _ .”

“You’re not being sloppy.”

“I’m  _ drunk _ , I know what I  _ am _ .” She pats his chest. “I’m sorry, that was aggressive. I just mean that anyone else would make me feel  _ embarrassed _ , but you don’t.” She puts a hand to her head. 

“Are you okay?”

“Mmm,” she says. “Just waiting.”

“For what?”

“The room. To stop.”

“Drink the rest of your water,” he says, lips close to her temple.

She does. She tips back the glass and drinks until there’s nothing left. Ben takes the empty glass from her, and a moment later, there’s a new, full one in her hand.

“I’m full,” she protests.

“Drink this,” he tells her. 

_ Listen to Ben, he’s taking such good care of you, _ a voice tells her.  _ You don’t have to do anything, just listen to what he says. _

So she drinks, feeling somehow eager to please her alpha.  _ Not my alpha, _ she thinks, but the thought is blurry and the room is still kind of spinny. 

“I want to take a walk,” she decides.

“Okay. Drink the rest of your water,” he urges, stroking her back. 

“I drank so much,” she protests, leaning into his side.

“Rey. I need you to drink the rest of your water.” His voice is sterner now, and she feels suddenly horrible for letting him down. She starts crying.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, softening.

She shakes her head.

“Rey?”

“You’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you.” He hugs her, rocking her gently. “I promise I’m not mad. I just want you to drink water so you won’t have a hangover tomorrow.”

“You’re so nice to me,” she sniffs. “No one’s  _ ever _ been this nice to me.”

“I think that’s an exaggeration.”

He’s probably right, but she shakes her head. “No, you’re  _ the nicest _ .”

“Rey. Please drink the rest of your water.”

She does, taking deep breaths so that she can drink all of it. She’s so full, but the coldness of the water makes the room stop spinning quite so much. It’s still too much for her, loud and stuffy and overstimulating, so she asks, “Can we please take a walk now?”

“Yes.” His hand stays on her back as he guides her through the bar. People move easily out of his way, and Rey feels a little bit like a queen as Ben gets them out of the bar. She’s so used to pushing and trying to be noticed, but people only have to take one look at Ben, get one whiff of him, and they immediately move out of the way.  _ He’d be a good mate, _ she thinks.  _ He’d take such good care of his omega.  _

The air outside is warm and balmy, and it feels nice after the stuffiness of the bar. Rey feels calm out here. The tears are drying on her cheeks and Ben’s hand is sure and strong on her back. But even so, she’s unsteady, so she hooks a finger in his belt loop. He doesn’t protest. 

“Ben,” she announces, her voice for some reason louder than she meant for it to be. “I am very drunk.”

“I know, kitten.” 

And oh, she likes that, being called kitten. It sounds intimate and a little naughty, but mostly, it sounds affectionate. Those are all things she likes. 

“Where are we walking?”

“Just around. How are you doing?”

“I feel very nice.” It doesn’t sound quite right, now that she thinks about it, but he doesn’t question it. 

They walk up and down a row of shops—all of them are closed, but Rey still likes peering inside the windows. For a while. 

“Ben, I have to pee again.”

He sucks in a breath. “Oh. Uh...hmm…”

“Can we go to your place?” she wants to know. 

Ben stiffens. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

“Why not?” she asks, but she knows why not.

Softly, at almost a growl, he says, “I think you know why not, kitten.”

She tips her face up to his. “Is it because you like the way I smell?”

He’s giving her such an odd look. “Yes.”

She wants to kiss him, wants to rub her scent all over him so that he drowns in the smell of her. She also really wants to pee. “Okay,” she says, stepping back. “Then I’ll go find a bush.”

“Rey!” He sounds exasperated. “Don’t pee behind a bush.”

“Well, you won’t let me pee at your place, so I’m out of options.” She thinks she sounds very logical. “Here, you stand watch and—“

He reaches down and takes her hand. “No. Fine. We’ll go to my place.”

“No,” she says, for some reason enjoying his frustration. “I don’t want to get my scent—“

He just keeps tugging her along. “You’re using my bathroom, end of discussion. I’ll get you more water while we’re there.”

He sounds so authoritative. So alpha. She likes it. She likes it a lot. 

“Okay,” she agrees.

By the time they reach his apartment, her bladder is fit to burst and she’s begged him half a dozen times to let her go in the bushes. But he seems determined, somehow, that she will only sit on his toilet. 

As soon as they walk inside, Rey is overcome with the scent. It’s like his car but somehow ten times stronger. If she didn’t have to pee so badly she would probably be soaking her panties. 

“It’s in the back,” he tells her, pointing. “Next to the bedroom.”

She waddles to the bathroom while he turns on what feels like every fan in the house. She doesn’t stop to admire the decor; as soon as she closes the door behind her, she yanks down her underwear and plops down on the toilet. She looks around the bathroom and can’t help noticing how tidy it is. She’s known very few men who keep a clean bathroom, but other than a few short black hairs in the sink, the place is clean.

She takes her time washing her hands and splashing cold water on her face. Her face isn’t as red as it was before, and while her eyeliner is kind of smudged, it gives her a sexy, smoky eye kind of effect. Or at least, she hopes it does. Deciding that she looks presentable, she makes her way back out to the living room, where Ben is standing by a window. She picks her way to him, unable to help noticing the way his eyes travel up and down her body. 

“Ben.” Her voice sounds surprisingly steady. A little hoarse, maybe, but steady. 

His eyes meet hers. “Rey.”

She’s close to him now, so close that even with the open window and all the fans going, she’s drowning in the scent of him. She takes another step closer, but Ben grasps her arms and holds her back. “No.”

She blinks up at him. “No?”

“You’re drunk,” he says softly. “We both are. It’s not right.” 

He’s right, but it doesn’t lessen the hurt. “Right.” She steps back, out of his grip. “I should go.”

He looks pained. “Rey…”

“No, I should go. I invited myself over and I...I should go.” She reaches for her phone and pulls up the Uber app. She’s too drunk to drive. 

He doesn’t stop her, just watches morosely with his hands in his pockets. 

“Eight minutes away,” she says, finally looking up at him. “Thanks for...looking after me. I’ll go down to wait for him and get...out of your hair.”

“I’ll go with you,” he says, straightening up. 

“I’ll be fine.”

But he doesn’t let her go alone, and she’s left with no choice but to let him follow her down the stairs. She keeps her arms folded across her chest, staring resolutely at the parking lot’s entrance. Ben stands a respectable distance behind her, hands shoved in his pockets. 

She feels so stupid. It had taken all night for her to drink up the courage to do something, and now that she has, she’s too drunk for it to matter. She should have paced herself, or not made a move so soon, or something. 

Ben’s silence is deafening. She wishes he’d tell her to cancel the Uber and come up to his apartment. Not even to have sex, she could just...sleep on his couch, and in the morning when they’re sober they could try this again.

But he doesn’t say or do anything, and while a logical part of her knows that it would be dangerous for her to sleep on his couch, that their respective scents could tamper with their better judgment and make them do something they shouldn’t, it still upsets her because she wonders if he wants her that way at all. Maybe she was right and they’re just friends, and Hux was a real person who didn’t show up and Phasma only thought there was something between them when, clearly, there isn’t.

The Uber pulls up, a red Kia, and Rey is reaching for the door when Ben says her name and half-jogs to the car. She looks up at him, hopeful and hateful. His hand grips the door.

“Text me when you get home.”

Rey clenches her jaw and climbs in the car. Ben shuts the door behind her, hands shoved back in his pockets as he watches them pull away.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I'm gonna say about this chapter is...get ready.

It takes hours for Rey to fall asleep, and when she wakes up early, her body annoyingly anticipating her alarm, she can’t make herself fall back asleep. She feels restless, her heart beating oddly fast for her just having woken up. She decides to go for a run, and when the restless feeling doesn’t go away, she cleans her apartment, all the while determinedly  _ not _ thinking about fucking Ben Solo. 

She wishes she had more friends she could explain the situation to, but all her friend-friends are back in New York and she doesn’t think she can tell any of her work-friends about it without exposing Ben’s identity. She realizes, not for the first time since taking this job and moving out here, that she’s lonely. Even with a job and friends, that feeling of otherness, of never quite belonging, creeps in on her.

She takes an Uber to Ben’s apartment to get her car back. She’s half-afraid, half-hopeful she’ll see him.

She doesn’t.

It’s late afternoon when he texts her.

**_How are you doing today?_ **

She stares at her phone for a long minute, unsure of how to respond. She can’t tell if this is the gesture of someone who cares and feels bad or someone who’s putting out fires. Does he actually care? Or is this just a way to make sure their office relationship is smooth and professional?

She decides not to respond, because she knows that if she starts, she won’t be able to stop. She’s still in a bad mood when she goes to bed that night, tossing and turning until sleep finally claims her.

She has one dream, and it’s so vivid that she doesn’t think she’ll ever get it out of her head.

In the dream, she’s in a big, open room. The floor is black and polished; the walls are a deep blood-red. She’s naked, for some reason, and her heat has just begun. 

Across the room, there are dozens of alphas. She can smell them, all of them in a rut—and they, she knows, can smell her. 

There’s one smell that stands out above the others. Ben. She sees a commotion and realizes he is fighting all of them. There’s a fire blazing behind them, and their silhouettes look oddly wolflike to her. Ben rips into the other alphas, clawing and snarling and biting until they fall in submission. Her heart pounds in her ears and her thighs become slick with want. He’s fighting all of them to get to her.  _ He _ is her alpha, her mate, and he will stop at nothing to make her his. 

The last of the alphas falls before him, and with a fierce look, Ben crosses to her. She sinks to all fours, wet and wanting, and when he mounts her from behind she moans. He fucks her right in front of all the other alphas, covering her in his scent. It’s so good, he’s so good, he’s taking her in front of all those alphas and she loves it, she wants them all to see that she is his. He bites her mating gland just as his knot begins to swell, marking her as his.

“Rey,” he growls in her ear. “My omega. Mine. Mine.  _ Mine _ .”

.

Rey wakes up in a sweaty mess. She takes a shower, replaying the dream over and over in her head. It nearly makes her late to work. 

At first, she writes off the sweating as her rushing around in the morning, but a couple hours pass with her doing nothing but sitting at her desk.

“Is it hot in here?” she asks Rose, tugging at her cardigan. 

Rose stares. “Rey. It’s freezing in here.” She furrows her brow. “You’re all, like, flushed...are you running a fever?”

Rey feels her forehead. It  _ is _ a little warm. “Hmm.”

Rose feels her forehead too. “I think you are. Do you feel okay?”

“Just hot.” She pauses. “Well, I’m kind of...my heart’s been beating pretty fast, and I…”

No.

Oh no.

It  _ can’t _ be. She  _ just _ had her heat a couple months ago—surely,  _ surely _ it isn’t happening again so soon? She’s not due for another few months, this has to be something else, this has to—

She looks across the office. Her eyes meet Ben’s, and somehow, that tells her everything she needs to know.

Oh no. 

She stands up, hurrying on shaky legs to the lunch room. No one is in there, which is exactly what she was hoping for; she sinks into a chair and takes a deep, steadying breath. Ben’s scent fills her nostrils. He’s standing in the doorway, eyes wide. “You’re in heat.”

“I  _ can’t _ be,” she says weakly. “It’s not time yet…” She starts crying, and Ben crosses swiftly to her side and then kneels beside her. 

“Did you skip a dose?”

She shakes her head. It’s overwhelming her. She can feel her abdomen pulse as her uterus expands and contracts, her body preparing to take  _ so much cum, alpha, fill me with your cum _ —

Ben’s eyes close briefly and he takes a deep breath through his mouth. “Rey, you really...you need to go home.”

Home. Yes. She should go home, where her toys and cold baths will get her through the next few days. But that requires driving, and Rey...Rey really doesn’t think she can do that. She’s cramping and her cunt is...it’s so much slicker than it should be, her heat came on her  _ so fast _ —

“I can’t,” she whispers.

“Can’t what, sweetheart?”

She tries to ignore the fresh ripple of desire at the nickname and manages to get out, “I don’t think...I can drive.” She allows herself to look down at Ben, whose eyes are wide and dark. “I don’t...I don’t want any of them to know...please…” 

“I’ll take you home,” he says in a strangled sort of voice. 

_ Yes, take me home, yes, alpha, take care of me, take me home and fill me with your cum _ —

“Rey? You okay?” 

It’s Rose, standing in the doorway. She’s looking at them curiously.

“Rey isn’t feeling well,” Ben says, and he sounds so authoritative, so  _ alpha _ . “Can you grab her things? I’m going to take her home.”

Rose glances at Rey, who nods. The other woman disappears.

“Hey.” Ben reaches for Rey’s hand. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”

She believes him, which she’s pretty sure is just because he’s an alpha and she’s in heat, but still. “Okay.”

He squeezes her hand and stands up just as Rose comes in, holding out Rey’s purse and cell phone. 

“I logged you off your computer, too,” Rose says. “Do you need anything else?”

Rey shakes her head. “No, thank you.” She trips blindly towards the door; Ben puts a hand on her back, steadying her as they walk out into the parking lot.

As soon as Rey slides into the passenger seat of his car, she becomes overwhelmed with his scent. She gasps, cunt throbbing.

“Oh, fuck,” he whispers when they’ve closed the doors. He rolls down the windows to let the air move around, but she’s drowning in his smell and she’s sure he’s drowning in hers, too. The steady hum of the car only makes her cunt throb harder; she curls in on herself, muffling her whimpers.

“It’ll be okay,” he keeps saying, glancing over at her when he can. “We’ll be there soon.”

“It happened so  _ fast _ ,” she says weakly. “It’s supposed to take longer, I…” She screws her eyes shut and breathes through a particularly hard wave. “I need...I need…”

“I know what you need,” he says in a low voice. He glances over at her and she doesn’t mistake the look on his face. 

“You don’t have to,” she says, still in that weak voice. She’s gotten through heats on her own, and she’ll do it again if she has to. She  _ isn’t even supposed to be having this one. _

“Do you want me to?” he asks.

She nods, too afraid to tell him  _ yes, I want you to, I want you so bad, I want you to knot me and fill me with your cum, just fuck me until I’m dead, use me, alpha _ \--

“Rey. I need you to be sure. And I need you…” He takes a deep breath. “I need you to want it because  _ you _ want it.”

“Yes,” she says through gritted teeth. “Yes, I want it, I really want it, please…”

“Touch yourself.”

She hiccups. Oh. Oh fuck. She. Yes. She wants to do that. She wants to touch herself while he’s just a few inches away, wants him to smell her slick arousal, wants to drive him  _ absolutely mad _ with want. She unbuttons her slacks with trembling fingers and shoves her hand down her pants, moaning when she touches her swollen clit.

“That’s right.” Ben glances at her, his eyes lingering on her hand before turning back to traffic. She can smell his arousal, knows he’s half a second from pulling over and tearing her clothes off, but he won’t. He won’t, because they both know they need to be in a bed, somewhere where they can fuck without interruption, and that’s the only reason his hands are as steady on the wheel as they are. “That’s a good little omega.”

She whimpers, sliding two fingers inside herself. It’s not enough, not even close, but she tries to pace herself. “Are you going to touch me?” she asks, sounding so weak and wilting and  _ needy _ .

“Later,” he promises. “When we get home.”

_ When we get home. _

“Do you want me to touch you?” he asks, but he sounds like he already knows the answer.

“Yes,” she says at once.

“What do you want me to do to you?”

She slides in a third finger, pumping furiously. “I want you to knot me.”

“I will,” he says in a low growl. “Are you going to make yourself come?”

She shakes her head. “No, I want you to make me come first.”

His hands grip the steering wheel. “Good.”

She’s pleased him, she can see that. She keeps watching him as she pumps her fingers in and out of her cunt, not caring about her open want. He’s going to knot her, he’s going to make her come, he’s going to do all the things she’s been dreaming of and more--Ben,  _ her _ Ben, her alpha.  _ He isn’t my alpha _ , she tries to remind herself, but then she decides that she can indulge herself for her heat.

When he pulls up in front of her complex, she’s still trying to button up her pants when Ben lifts her out of the car and carries her, bridal style.  _ He’s so strong, he’ll take care of you, he’ll protect you, he’s your alpha. _

She directs him, feebly, to her apartment, and reaches into her purse for her key. He unlocks the door and then slams it shut behind him before carrying her to her bedroom. She thinks, wildly, that he ought to lock the door, but one look at his face tells her that won’t be necessary; if anyone,  _ anyone _ tries to walk in through that door and interrupt them, he’ll kill them. She sinks back into his arms, squealing when he drops her on the bed. He tears off her clothes before she can make a move, and Rey--Rey lets him, because she doesn’t think she can do much of anything right now and he seems eager to do it, anyway. He strips her down to nothing at all, tossing her underwear to the side with a decisiveness that only makes her wetter. Then he unbuttons his shirt, revealing those muscles, and she can’t help it, she trembles.

“What’s wrong, kitten?”

Again with that name. 

“I need you,” she whines. “Please.”

He pulls down his pants and underwear and Rey can’t take her eyes off of his enormous, throbbing cock. She moans, unconsciously parting her legs as she imagines him inside her. She only has a moment to imagine before Ben is on the bed, crawling up her body until his cock is lined up with her cunt.

“Rey,” he asks, and there’s no alpha to his tone, just...Ben. She looks up at wide brown eyes. “Do you want this?”

“Yes,” she says without hesitation. 

He sinks into her.

Rey’s moan slides from a low sound in her belly to a high, breathless cry. He’s so big, bigger than anyone she’s ever been with, and even with her slick, estruous cunt, he fills her. It only takes him one thrust in and out before she comes, her hips rocking hungrily into his. He murmurs soothingly in her hair, rests on his forearms as he rocks himself into his knot. It fills her so completely that her first orgasm rolls into a second, her hands scrabbling in the sheets as she whimpers through it. 

“Shh, kitten,” he murmurs, kissing her temple. “I’ve got you.”

She can feel his cum pulsing into her, feels the tension in her belly release as he fills her. Unbidden, her face turns to his. He kisses her, so tenderly that it almost feels at odds with the man who made her touch herself not half an hour ago. It’s the first time, she realizes, that they’ve ever kissed. 

“Oh,” she sighs when he pulls away. 

“How do you feel?” he asks, his eyes searching hers.

She nods. “Good. I...good.” She reaches up to kiss him again, drawing him down to the bed with her. He rolls onto his side, pulling her with him without breaking their kiss. She’s so content, deliriously sated from their coupling. He radiates satisfaction and that only makes her happier--she’s satisfied him, her alpha,  _ Ben _ …

A wave ripples through her and she moans.

“Again?” he murmurs, but there’s a pleased edge to his voice. 

She nods helplessly.

Ben reaches down, rubbing her clit. She rolls her hips desperately, but Ben’s knot is still inside her, stilling any movement. 

“It’s all right, I’ve got you,” he murmurs, circling her clit. She tries to lie still, breathing hard as he touches her. He’s spent, his knot finally reducing, and he slowly slips out of her. She cries in frustration at the loss, canting desperately into his hand as he rolls her onto her back and crawls down her body and off the bed. She tries to follow him, but one hand pins down her hips as he adjusts, kneeling on the floor. “God,” he breathes, planting her feet on the edge of the mattress. Her legs are bent now, opening herself up to him. “You smell like me.”

She can only moan in response, that hazy, heated feeling taking over her senses.

He watches her cunt for a moment, as if something is taking place there that he can’t quite believe, and then he leans forward and licks her. She shudders, hips bucking as she searches for more contact.

“You taste like me,” he growls. “You taste like my cum. Our cum mixed together...it tastes... _ right _ …”

She moans again, and when he dips two fingers inside her, she tugs on his wrist, pulling his hand up to her mouth so that she can also taste. He watches her with pupils blown wide, nearly panting at the sight of her licking their combined fluids from his fingers. She smiles around his fingers, taking them deep in her mouth, almost to the knuckle, and then she pulls them out with a  _ pop _ and urges them back down to her clit. He rubs circles around her while his tongue licks her damp folds, cleaning up what cum escaped. She rolls her hips against his face, desperate for more--at last, she is rewarded by his tongue sliding inside her. It’s not that it offers much substance so much as it just feels  _ good _ , something hot and wet and eager inside her; it’s that, coupled with his fingers and the way his eyes don’t leave her face, that makes her come, sobbing as her cunt clenches almost painfully.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, kissing the inside of her thigh. “Good little omega.”

She whimpers. He stands up, kissing the sweaty valley between her breasts. “I’m going to get us some water.”

“ _ No _ ,” she practically sobs, trying to move her leaden body. “Please don’t go…”

“I’ll be right back, kitten,” he promises, pushing her back down to the bed. “And then I’ll fuck you senseless.”

That gives her pause, because she really, really wants him to fuck her senseless. She also wants him to keep calling her kitten, and his good girl, and his little omega, so she stays on the bed, thighs trembling with anticipation. He returns after what feels like an eon (but, she knows, is probably just a few minutes) with two full glasses of water.

“Drink,” he tells her, handing her one of the glasses.

“You’re always making me drink water,” she accuses.

“It’s because I’m trying to take care of you, kitten.”

That mollifies her--him taking care of her, him calling her kitten. She takes two large gulps and then sets the glass on her bedside table, watching him sip his own water. He sets down his glass beside hers, bringing out a hand to caress her cheek.

“How badly do you want it, Rey?”

“So bad,” she breathes. “I want it  _ so bad _ .”

“Show me how badly you want it.”

She doesn’t quite understand what he means at first--how else can she show him that she wants him, that she  _ needs _ him, that she’s going to die if she doesn’t have him--when she sees his cock twitch. And oh, this she understands, this she is  _ happy _ to do because blowing him will make him hard, which means he’ll be able to fuck her senseless just like he promised. She moves closer to the edge of the bed, reaching for his cock. Even mostly flaccid, it’s enormous, and one of her hands barely wraps around it. She gives him slow pulls until he’s hardened enough for her to take him in her mouth; she locks her eyes with his as she grips the base of his cock, her lips molding around him. His mouth has fallen open, and one hand comes up to grip her hair. She takes him fairly deep and then pulls back, adjusting her jaw. She bobs up and down again, taking him a little deeper each time until she gags. He’s fully erect now, his breath coming in shallow pants, and after she gags a second time the hand in her hair tugs her back. 

“On your hands and knees,” he growls, and Rey scrambles to obey, limbs quivering as she remembers her dream, the one where he mounted her in front of all those alphas he’d defeated. The bed shifts as he sinks his weight onto it, and then his hands are on her hips and he’s pushing into her and she shouts because it feels so good, it feels  _ right _ , like he belongs inside her, like they were made for each other. “You like that, my little omega?” 

“Yes,” she gasps. “Oh, god, yes, yesyesyesyesyes it feels good oh there oh there oh  _ there _ oh  _ fuck _ \--” Her hands grip the bed sheets as her entire body rocks with the force of his thrusts. She comes twice, and then a third time when his knot finally swells within her. Her legs give out and she sinks onto the bed; Ben follows, rolling them both onto their sides and wrapping his arms around her. 

“I’ve never felt like this before,” she dares to whisper. “I’ve never...no one’s ever…”

He kisses her shoulder. “I know. I feel it too.”

.

Rey can’t believe she’s never been in heat with an alpha before.

Oh, she’d always  _ heard _ , of course, that it was better, and she’d known that, logically, if she could find an alpha who was good to her, it would be amazing. But nothing--not being with alphas before Ben, not having betas try to fuck her through her heat--compares to this. He’s inside her constantly, whether fucking her or knotting her or just lying there, unwilling to leave her warm, wet center.

The need for food, water, and sleep is almost totally annihilated. He does make her drink more water, though, and leaves her for an agonizing few minutes to get more, but then he’s back and his absence, brief though it was, makes their coupling that much better. 

At one point, she drifts off when his knot begins to swell, too exhausted to take much more; when she wakes up, he’s still inside her, and she wakes him by climbing atop him and rocking her hips until he’s hard. 

It’s amazing, this... _ rightness _ between them. She loses her usual self-consciousness, her fear of being too bold, and asks from him exactly what she wants. Ben, she finds, is usually happy to grant it.

Sometimes they make love, gentle and intimate. Mostly, though, he fucks her with a bruising force and she loves every goddamn second of it. 

It’s somewhere around mid-morning on the second day that she falls asleep. Like, really falls asleep, not just dozes while his knot is inside her. She wakes up feeling disoriented, and it’s not just because of the heat. Ben isn’t with her. She sits up, looking around, and even though she can smell him, she knows it’s a residual scent, that he isn’t in her apartment. She gets up to look anyway, her heart pounding as she calls, “Ben?”

But he isn’t there, and she knows he isn’t. 

He’s gone.

Panic swallows her. He left. Was it all too much for him? While she was enjoying it, did he feel like he’d been forced into this? 

Maybe he’d just had enough. Maybe twenty four hours of fucking was all he could take. Maybe he’s like the betas who helped her through her heat, disgusted at her neediness. 

She stands in the middle of her living room, breathing deeply as she tries not to have an anxiety attack. He left her. Ben, an alpha, left her in the middle of her heat. How repulsive is she? 

She’s still standing there, breaths coming short and fast as she tries to process both her heat and Ben’s disappearance, when the door opens.

It’s Ben, carrying plastic bags from the grocery store. She gapes at him, her heart pounding for completely different reasons as he kicks the door shut behind him.

“You...left,” she says, uncomfortably aware of how high pitched and squeaky her voice is. 

“I went to the store,” he says, holding up the bags as proof. “You don’t have any fruits or vegetables here--”

She can feel herself start to cry.

“Rey,” he says, voice softening as he moves towards her. “Rey, I wouldn’t...did you think I left…?” He drops the bags and tries to put his arms around her, but she hits his chest.

“I woke up alone! I thought you’d gone! You could’ve texted me or left a note or--”

“I’m sorry,” he says, cupping her face. He rains kisses on her face, murmuring, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

She melts immediately under this affection, clutching his shirt as her heat throbs painfully between her legs. They sink to the floor, Ben just managing to shove his pants down around his knees before he’s pushing inside her. She fumbles with his shirt, unbuttoning it as quickly as she can while he’s thrusting inside her; he pauses once to shake free of the stupid thing before he lowers himself back to her, nuzzling his scent gland against hers. His scent immediately courses through her veins, sending her over the edge. She drags her fingernails up his back, sharp enough to draw a hiss from him. He fucks her harder, hips slamming her into the floor so hard that she knows she’ll bruise. He finally, finally knots inside her, both of them breathing heavily as he stills. 

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I was only gone for twenty or thirty minutes, I didn’t...I didn’t want to leave while you were awake, I just wanted to get some food for you.”

She blinks up at him. “For me?”

He huffs. “Of course for you--I know you won’t eat anything if I don’t hand-feed it to you.” 

She bites her lip, because that sounds. Divine. “Will you?”

He chuckles. “Yes.”

He’s true to his word; when he’s finished knotting, he takes the bags into the kitchen. Rey follows him, less hungry for food than she is for his attention. He’s bought grapes, carrots, and apples, which he washes and slices before taking a seat at her small kitchen table. She sits on his lap, dutifully eating the food he puts in her mouth. She, in turn, chooses carrots and slices of apples and grapes to slide between his lips. She’s barely eaten when she feels her loins stirring again, but Ben is still eating and, as much as she aches for him, she knows he needs to keep up his strength if he’s going to fuck her through the rest of her heat. She rests her head on his shoulder, watching the muscles of his jaw and throat. 

When he’s done, he shifts her in his lap so that she’s straddling him. She’s so ready, so happy, he’s going to touch her again, he’s going to fuck her right here at her kitchen table. Ben dips a hand between her legs, rubbing the heel of his palm against her clit, before he uses his now-slick hand to stroke himself. Rey is breathing hard, eyes staring as he uses her own arousal to pull himself erect. When he’s ready for her, he grips her waist and lifts her up, then slowly eases her down over the head of his cock. Rey rests trembling hands on his shoulders, balancing her weight as she sinks down to the hilt. Her eyes never leave his, and though she’s dimly aware that their mouths have both formed Os and his hands are digging so hard into her hips that they’ll bruise, all she can think is  _ looking at him is like looking at myself _ . Those years of being lonely and neglected, the years she spent trying to fit in, the overwhelming  _ otherness _ she always seems to feel no matter what--she sees all of that mirrored in his eyes. She sees a half of her soul she didn’t realize was missing until right at this moment, and now that she knows it’s here, now that she knows the solution to her loneliness and desperation is right here, in front of her, fucking her, how can she possibly let him go?

After a long moment, her cunt throbs around his cock and she knows that, as much as she loves staring into his eyes, she has to move. Ben must realize this, too, because the hands at her waist lift her up and then bring her down again. Rey moans, lacing her fingers behind his neck to anchor her. He brings her up and down a few more times and then moves his hands under her thighs, holding her still as he thrusts up into her. Rey’s legs are shaking and it’s all she can do to hold on as he thrusts harder, finally fucking her into an orgasm that has her going limp. He thrusts once, twice, and then his knot swells and fills her cunt, still pulsing with the force of her climax. 

Rey falls, boneless, against Ben, whines a little as he rubs her back and murmurs, “My good girl, my omega.” 

This, she thinks, is heaven. 

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who have Tumblr but don't follow me there/might have missed the message, I've started a [reylo a/b/o blog!](https://reybeeoh.tumblr.com) If you post reylo a/b/o content there, tag reybeeoh and I'll reblog your work!

Rey’s heats usually last five to six days. With Ben, it only lasts three.

There’s a biological reason for this, she knows from a college class. Heat is designed for impregnation. The sooner an omega mates with an alpha, the sooner the heat will end. Rey’s heats usually last longer because her body is holding out for an alpha--but with Ben constantly filling her with his cum, her body doesn’t need to. 

She wakes up on the morning of the fourth day feeling sated. And that’s when it occurs to her: she never feels sated during her heat, especially when waking up. It’s...over. Or almost over, at any rate. 

She sits up, feeling oddly bereft. The room is heavy with the scent of her and Ben. He’s sleeping beside her, his bare back marked with scratches. She feels a rush of embarrassment at the memory. 

_ It’s fine, _ she tries to tell herself.  _ You were in heat and he was in rut and you both did what your bodies wanted you to do. You don’t have to be embarrassed _ .

She is, though. She’s embarrassed, and her only comfort is knowing that she woke up first--at least she doesn’t have to see Ben’s face quite yet. She slips out of bed and pads to her bathroom, closing the door as quietly as possible. She brushes and flosses her teeth, feeling marginally cleaner, and then steps into the hot shower. She’s just finished soaping up when she hears the door open. She freezes. 

The curtain parts to reveal Ben, looking deliciously sleepy. She’s seized by the desire to yank him into the shower with her. Okay, so maybe her heat isn’t completely gone. 

As it turns out, she doesn’t have to yank Ben into the shower, because he steps into it willingly, crowding her against the tile wall. 

“Good morning,” he murmurs, pressing kisses to her face.

“M-morning,” she says, desire pooling between her legs. 

He reaches down to caress her sex.

“I...I think my heat is ending soon,” she squeaks. “So I don’t know if I’m...down there…”

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks in a remarkably neutral voice. 

“No,” she says, meaning it. “I just don’t know if I can...if you can knot me right away.”

He hums and then kneels on the shower floor, hooking her legs over his shoulders. She gasps, reaching for the only handhold available to her--his hair. Ben buries his face in her cunt, licking and kissing her folds, swirling his tongue around her clit, and finally, curling his tongue inside her. Rey’s cunt is sore but responds with enthusiasm to his ministrations, slick with a fluid that has nothing to do with the shower. He coaxes one small, shuddering orgasm from her, and then he’s setting her feet on the floor, standing up. He spins her around to face the wall and grabs her hips with one hand, the other stroking his cock. She braces her hands on the wall, heart beating. She feels Ben’s cock press against her slit, and then a moment later, he’s sliding inside her. 

Rey shouts.

Not a sexy porno shout, either, but a startled yelp as his massive cock enters her no-longer-in-heat cunt. He’s so big, and she’s always known that, but the size was sexy when she was in heat and her cunt was wide and wet and begging to be filled. Now that it’s back to normal, he’s almost too big. She whimpers, rubbing her forehead against the cold tile. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, stilling.

She hesitates.

“Rey?” His voice is worried.

“I’m okay,” she says quickly. “It’s just...so big.”

“Normally I would take that as a compliment,” he says wryly. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” she says. “I just need to...adjust.”

Ben adjusts his angle, shifting so that he can press his chest to her back. He nuzzles her neck, one hand reaching around to circle her clit. Rey whimpers again, but this time it’s out of pleasure rather than pain. He’s still too big, but the stimulation of her clit makes her clench a little. He grunts, his other hand squeezing her breast. It feels good, but it feels even better when he scrapes his teeth along her neck and rumbles, “Even in the shower you smell like me, did you know that?”

She whines, rocking back on his cock. He groans as he slowly pushes inside and fills her, the hand that was at her breast slapping against the tile as he supports himself. “Fuck,” he breathes. “Fuck, you’re tight.” He pulls back and then pushes in again, groaning. 

Rey is groaning too, the noises echoing in her acoustically pleasing bathroom. He’s big and her cunt is exhausted, but she knows that she can’t stop now--she needs to come. She pushes back, lightly meeting his thrusts. “I need...oh…”

“What do you need?” 

But she doesn’t know. She needs  _ something _ , but  _ what _ ?

“What do you need, kitten?”

She whines. Oh. 

He nips the skin just below her ear. “You like being called kitten, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she says obediently, and suddenly Ben’s cock has no trouble thrusting in and out of her.

He fucks her until she’s singing his name, and when she begs him, he knots her. They stand like that for a long moment, Rey pressed against the wall and panting, before Ben reaches for something. She doesn’t see what it is and she doesn’t care until he reaches for her hair.

“Are you...shampooing me?” she asks faintly.

“Believe it or not, I know my way around hair care products.”

She smiles a big, goofy smile. “I’ve noticed.”

He massages her scalp, earning a small moan from her. He’s really good at it, his fingernails scraping her scalp just so. He rinses out the shampoo and then adds conditioner, working it gently through  her hair. By the time he’s washed that out, too, his knot has gone down and he slips free from her. 

“Thanks,” she mumbles. “I’m gonna…” She doesn’t finish her sentence, just steps out of the shower and reaches for her towel. She knows now that she is definitely out of her heat, and with that ended a sense of clarity has been restored.

She had her heat months ahead of schedule, which has never happened and should never happen on her suppressants. Obviously that hadn’t been a pressing concern at the time, but now that it’s over, she’s worried. Will it happen again? Is something wrong with her suppressants? She’s going to be a liability if she keeps taking days off work to fuck.

_ To fuck _ .

And that’s the other thing, isn’t it? She fucked Ben. Which is a whole thing now, because they were both dancing around their feelings for each other just a few days ago and now he’s fucked and knotted her more times than she can count and it’s just  _ insane _ , she didn’t know two people could fuck that much, and it was  _ Ben _ who she’s still sussing out her feelings for and this is a whole bunch of bullshit. Where do they even stand now?

_ Worry about that later, _ she tells herself.  _ Call a doctor now _ .

She changes into pajamas and then searches for her phone, which is still in her purse from when Ben had carried her in. It’s dead now, so she plugs it into the wall and waits patiently for it to come back to life. As soon as it buzzes, she reaches for it and looks up her gynecologist. 

“Takodana Omega Health, how can I help you?”

“Hi,” she says into the phone, gripping it tighter. “Um, I was wondering if I could schedule an appointment with Dr. Kanata...preferably as soon as possible. I think something’s wrong with my suppressants.”

The shower shuts off and Rey tenses.

“Are you experiencing a medical emergency?”

“Uh.” Rey fidgets. “I had my heat several months early.”

“I see. Well, I can book you in for two o’clock today.”

“That would be perfect,” Rey says after glancing at the stove’s digital clock. 

“Are you still in heat?”

“I think it just ended.” Rey watches as Ben walks out of the bedroom, towel wrapped around his hips. He looks really fucking good, and even though she’s completely worn out down there, she thinks she wouldn’t mind having another go at him. 

“Great. We’ll probably need to run some tests.”

Ben heads for the cabinet, getting a glass down from the shelf. Rey tries not to stare too hard at his muscles as he stretches. “Okay.” 

“Can I have the name?”

“Rey Niima.” 

“All right, Miss Niima, we’ve booked you in for two o’clock.”

“Thank you.” 

Ben is leaning against the counter, watching her and clearly waiting for her to speak.

“I made an appointment to see my gyno,” she explains, not quite able to meet his eye. “Since this heat was so early. She can see me at two.”

“Okay.” He takes a swig of water. “I’ll drive you, and after the appointment we can stop at the office so you can get your car.” 

She nods. “Okay. Thank you.” They sound so...businesslike and detached. They don’t sound at all like two people who’d just fucked in the shower. 

Rey wonders what that means.

.

Ben drops her off at the gyno and then heads back to his place to change into fresh clothes. She’s early, and she’s sure that, in the grand tradition of doctors, hers will keep her waiting, so she opens up her phone and googles _ heat suppressant not working _ .

The results are varied. Some have experienced heat or heat-like symptoms after taking certain medications, but Rey hasn’t taken anything other than Ibuprofen in the last few months, possibly even the last couple of years. Significant life changes, including weight gain or loss or undue stress, have caused heat-like symptoms, but not an actual heat. She’s still googling when the nurse comes out and calls Rey back. The woman--a beta, Rey notes--takes her weight and asks her the routine questions before asking her to change into the hospital gown and leaving her alone. 

Dr. Kanata is a short, old, and feisty woman. She hops up on a stool and glances at Rey’s chart. “Early heat, hmm?”

“Very early,” Rey confirms. “It was...fast, too. I mean, normally I can feel it coming on--the cramps and everything--for twelve hours or so, but this took, like, two hours.”

“Hmm. Your weight is the same...no anomalies that I can see.” Dr. Kanata looks up. “Any recent changes in your life?”

Rey shakes her head. “No.”

“Are you  _ sure _ ?” Dr. Kanata wheedles. “What about sexual partners?”

Rey shakes her head again, trying not to blush. This is her gyno, she has to ask these things. “No. None before this heat, at least.”

Dr. Kanata hums again. “Well, let’s take a look down there and see what’s going on.”

Rey obediently sits back on the bed, putting her feet up in stirrups. Dr. Kanata doesn’t say anything as she examines Rey’s nether region, just pokes and prods and hums. “All right,” she says at last, leaning back. “You can sit up.”

She does, watching the gynecologist throw away her gloves. 

“Everything looks normal,” the older woman says. “I’m going to examine your mating gland.”

Rey sits still as Dr. Kanata prods at the gland. She checks Rey’s scent glands, too. 

“Interesting.”

“What is?”

Dr. Kanata moves around to face her. “Your body seems to have undergone a sort of courtship.”

“Courtship?” Rey knows that back in the day, when things were a little more primitive, alphas used to court omegas by fighting other alphas and presenting them with gifts. This was usually done when they could smell an omega was near their heat. Betas, too, would sometimes try to court omegas, but they were usually unsuccessful if an unmated alpha was around. This doesn’t sound like that kind of courtship, though. 

Dr. Kanata nods. “My best guess is that you have sexual feelings for someone and your body  went into heat to draw their attention. This sometimes happened to omegas in the days before suppressants--unmated alphas  _ rarely _ refuse an omega in heat.”

Rey can feel herself start to panic. “Does this happen often?”

“It’s a bit of a rarity,” Dr. Kanata says. “I believe you said someone helped you through your heat?”

She flushes. “Yes.”

The doctor nods. “Then it was probably a one-time thing. Nevertheless, I’ll up your dosage so that it doesn’t happen again in the future.”

“Is that...all?” Rey asks. “No...tests or anything?”

“I don’t believe they’re necessary at the moment,” Dr. Kanata says. “If you go into heat again or experience any heatlike symptoms, call me immediately. We can put you on a sedative and then run some tests. In the meantime, I think it was just an anomaly.” When Rey doesn’t look reassured, she adds, “Heats can sometimes happen unexpectedly. The human body is imperfect and we are constantly trying to understand it. You aren’t the first omega to experience an unexpected heat and you won’t be the last. It’s really nothing to worry about.”

Rey is still uncertain, but the knowledge that Dr. Kanata is upping her dosage is a relief because that, at least, is a long-term solution. 

She texts Ben as she’s getting dressed; by the time she walks out of the building, he’s idling by the curb. 

“What did they say?” he asks. 

She hesitates. She doesn’t want to tell him the whole truth because...well,  _ because _ . 

_ Oh, you know, I may have gone into heat because I was trying to get your attention, and I guess it worked because we fucked!  _

“She said it’s rare, but heats can happen unexpectedly,” she tells him, which isn’t a lie. “She’s upping my suppressants, but she said that’s pretty much all there it is to do.”

Ben considers this. “That’s it?”

She shrugs. “Yeah. If it happens again they’ll run tests but I guess it’s...known to happen to omegas now and again.”

“That sucks,” he says. “But you’re...in the clear?”

She shrugs again. “I guess. We’ll have to see how the higher dosage works.” And then she winces because she used the word  _ we _ , as if they’re together. Which. They’re not.

Are they?

.

Rey is exhausted by the time she gets back home. She and Ben had both agreed that it was probably for the best if they waited until after the office was empty for him to take her back so she could get her car, so it’s nearly seven by the time she gets home. 

Her apartment smells like her and Ben. Not just Ben. Her  _ and _ Ben. It’s a warm, heady smell, and despite her exhaustion, her loins stir faintly. She isn’t sure if she should try to do something about it--it’s a good smell, if a little overpowering. She decides to leave it for now, too tired to clean her apartment, especially since she’s planning on going back to work tomorrow.

She  _ does _ wash the sheets and comforter, because they’re damp and smell heavily of cum. She collapses on top of the new sheets as soon as she’s hung the old ones up to dry and sleeps, for the first time in almost a week, through the night. 

Going back to work is strange. First of all, it’s a Friday, so Rey is only there for one day before the weekend. Second, everyone keeps giving her strange looks, and she doesn’t find out why until Rose corners her in the bathroom and asks, point-blank, “Were you actually sick this week or were you in heat?”

Rey flushes. “Why do you ask?”

“Because Ben took you home and that was the last time we saw you two until today.” There’s no judgment in Rose’s tone, only curiosity. That’s little comfort, though, when Rey processes her words.

“So everyone knows we fucked, huh?” she asks in her most casual tone. Inside, she’s screaming. Of course everyone would put two and two together. Goddammit. 

“It’s okay, you know,” the other woman says. “I mean it’s...it’s none of our business, and you’re an omega and he’s an alpha and you were in heat so...yeah.”

“Yeah,” Rey echoes. She wants to go home, and consoles herself with the knowledge that it’s almost the weekend.

Rose seems to be thinking along similar lines. “Look, people will forget about it over the weekend.”

Rey hopes she’s right, but she has a bad feeling about it anyway.

The third thing that makes coming back to work so strange is the announcement that they’re bringing in a new project leader. 

“I didn’t know we needed a new project leader,” Rey mutters to Rose as she reads the email.

“I didn’t either,” Rose mutters back. “I thought Ben was supposed to be getting it.” 

And speaking of Ben, that’s the fourth thing.

He’s avoiding her.

She’s not an idiot, she knows when people don’t want to be seen or talked to. She sees how Ben leaves the break room as soon as she walks in, how he puts in his earbuds and sits at his desk to eat lunch. She sees, too, how he won’t make eye contact with her or even speak to her unless absolutely necessary. She doesn’t let herself dwell on it during the day, trying desperately to catch up on work--but as soon as she gets home and is alone with the scent of their coupling, she feels the urge to cry. Ben isn’t any better than her beta exes. Oh, sure, he’d gotten her through her heat without judgment, but now that it’s over he can’t look at her the same way. She remembers with a swell of shame how needy she’d been, how she’d been so upset when he went to the grocery store and he’d had to placate her. How eagerly she’d let him feed her and fed him in return. 

And now he won’t even look at her. After all his assurances that he wouldn’t judge her, that he understands what it’s like to have your body taken over by biology, he finds her repulsive. Boring. Needy.

What, she thinks miserably, a typical alpha. 

She spends the weekend deep-cleaning her apartment. She really doesn’t need to, given that she’d cleaned it only the weekend before, but she doesn’t rest until there’s no trace of Ben left, until the entire apartment smells of bleach and citrus. 

.

Rose is only kind of right about people forgetting about Rey and Ben’s...thing. Rey stops getting quite so many stares on Monday, but Ben is still avoiding her. Rey, thankfully, doesn’t have long to dwell on it, because a distraction arrives that afternoon in the form of their new project leader. 

His name is Poe Dameron. He’s handsome, Latino, an old friend of Snap’s, and an alpha. He’s also incredibly charming, making a point to learn everyone’s name and chat with them. When he shakes Rey’s hand, his already megawatt smile lights up even more. 

“An omega, huh?” When her smile falters, he adds hastily, “Sorry, I hope that wasn’t inappropriate, I just mean you’re the first non-beta I’ve met today.”

She relaxes. “Yeah, I’m the only omega in the office. Have you met Ben? He’s the only other alpha.”

“Yeah, I was...advised to keep my distance,” Poe says politely.

Oh, right. Ben had been passed over for project leader. It probably doesn’t help that the person they chose instead is not only extremely handsome and charming but also an alpha. 

“Probably for the best,” she says, not feeling particularly charitable towards the other alpha at the moment. “He’s kind of an asshole.”

Poe laughs. “Good to know.”

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi hi! I'm so sorry this chapter is late--I went to the hospital on Wednesday night and just got out today. This chapter is slightly longer than the others, so I hope that makes up for the wait!

Everyone in the office soon forgets that Ben helped Rey through her heat because they’re too busy whispering about how Ben hates Poe. She doesn’t actually know if that’s true because, again, Ben is avoiding her, but she can imagine that Ben is, at the very least, unhappy with Poe’s presence. 

Everyone else, on the other hand, loves Poe’s presence. He’s a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stale office, a bright spot in their bland existence. Even Rey can’t help feeling better when he’s around, which may just be because he’s an alpha and radiates a safe, calming energy, but it could also be because he makes her smile. 

Ben, meanwhile, continues avoiding Rey. It hurts, and every time she thinks that maybe she’s getting over it, she remembers all over again how safe and happy she’d felt with him. 

_ Typical omega, getting needy. _

Poe proves to be a good project leader--he’s authoritative without being annoying, and he’s friendly enough that no one feels any real resentment when he pushes them. 

Everyone except for Ben. 

Ben argues with Poe every step of the way. Ben thinks they need to be more aggressive, he wants to handle the clients because he has more experience, he doesn’t think Poe sets reasonable deadlines, and so on and so forth. It starts delaying their progress, and before long everyone gets fed up with Ben. 

Not afraid. Fed up. 

Ben seems to know it, too. Where everyone had previously been afraid of his volatile alpha-ness, the presence of a new alpha seems to have abated their fear. Now, instead of backing down, everyone just rolls their eyes at Ben. Rey can sense his frustration, and oddly enough, his fear. Fear of, what, not being feared?

But no, she senses it’s deeper than that. A fear of being replaced, perhaps. And she gets it--Poe is this new alpha taking the job Ben was supposed to have. So, like, she gets it.

It doesn’t make him any less insufferable.

There’s one instance in particular where Finn does... _ something _ while they’re in the big conference room, something that pisses Ben off (though really, Rey thinks, what  _ doesn’t _ piss him off these days?) and Ben just loses it. Like, shouts at everyone and very nearly upends a table. He storms out before he can actually get that far, but even if no physical damage has been done, he gets what he wanted: everyone’s a little afraid of him again. 

“Motherfucker,” Snap says under his breath. Then he turns to Rey. “Can’t you go, like, fuck him out of this or whatever?”

Rey feels her mouth fall open. She thinks the room has gone silent, but it’s hard to tell with the loud buzzing in her ears. 

She doesn’t remember walking over to Snap, just that she slaps him. Across the face. Hard. 

She doesn’t stay long enough to see the reaction, she just bolts out of the room. Her feet carry her down the hallway and out the side door. She has half a mind to get in her car and drive away, but her keys are at her desk so all she can do is turn to kick the wall. But as she turns, she realizes that she’s not alone out here. 

Ben is standing a few feet away, watching her with a clenched jaw. 

“They send you out here after me?” he grouses.

“Actually, yeah,” she says, kicking the wall anyway. “Snap asked me to...what was it? Fuck you out of this.” 

Ben’s fists clench. “I’ll fucking kill him.” He starts to storm for the door, but Rey grabs his arm, because even if she would love nothing more than for Snap to die at this moment, she knows that Ben will actually do it and that’s just more trouble than it’s worth. 

“Ben--”

Snarling, he twists his arm out of her grip, and then he does something very surprising. 

He backs her against the wall and kisses her. 

And not a soft kiss, either. It’s what trashy omega novels call a  _ searing kiss _ . One that leaves her breathless and whimpering as her fingers grip the material of his shirt, desperate for purchase. Ben’s tongue pushes greedily at the seam of her lips, his hands holding her with a bruising force as she tips back her head to kiss him better, her mind screaming  _ alphaalphaalphaalpha _

Her senses, or what’s left of them, return. She shoves Ben’s chest, hard enough to make him stumble back a few steps. 

“You  _ fucking _ asshole!” she seethes. “You fuck my brains out and then don’t talk to me for  _ weeks _ , and now you’re trying to kiss me like you  _ haven’t _ been ignoring me? Fuck you!” 

Ben’s mouth opens and closes like a cartoonishly large goldfish, but before he can get out any words, the door opens and Poe pokes his head outside. “Rey? Can I talk to you for a minute?” 

Ben immediately bristles, but Rey has had quite enough of his stupid alpha-ness for one day, so she follows Poe inside. 

He gives her an apologetic expression. “Snap fucked up. And I fucked up by not stepping in sooner. He should never have said that to you and I should have acted faster.”

Rey blinks. She was expecting him to scold her for slapping Snap, especially given how it’s common knowledge that he and Snap are good friends, so this is unexpected. “Am I in trouble?”

“What? No.” Poe furrows his brow. “Your reaction was understandable. You’re not in trouble just because Snap clearly needs more sensitivity training.” 

Rey releases a breath. “Oh. Okay.” 

Poe hesitates. “Can I ask you a question, though?”

Rey steels herself. “Okay.” 

“What’s...going on with you and Ben? I’m not trying to gossip,” he adds quickly. “I just need to know how to handle the situation.”

Rey throws him a bitter smile. “You mean you haven’t heard?”

“I’ve heard rumors, but I want to hear the facts.”

She debates whether or not to tell him. She’s heard horror stories of people, but especially omegas, who confided too much in their superiors and then got fired. He could, technically, get her fired for having sex with Ben if he spun it the right way. But Rey senses that Poe is being honest: he really just wants to know what’s going on so he can field criticism accordingly. 

“I...went into heat the week before you came here,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. “It was earlier than usual. Ben...was the only person who knew. Everyone here gets...weird about that sort of thing.”

Poe nods sympathetically. 

She takes a deep breath. “He, um...well he was there. You know. And we didn’t...really get to talk about it beforehand, and then he...he just ignored me after.” She forces a smile. “We used to be friends, and now he won’t look at me if he can help it.” She decides not to mention the kiss outside, which she’s  _ still _ trying to process. “But everyone put two and two together and now they won’t let it go.”

Poe nods again. “Okay. I appreciate your transparency.” He chooses his next words carefully. “Ben isn’t...like...has he been...inappropriate in any way?”

She shakes her head. “No. He’s been an asshole but not inappropriately so.” 

The corner of Poe’s mouth lifts. “Good to know. But let me know if it becomes a problem, okay?”

She nods. “I will.” 

He sighs. “I’m gonna have a word with Ben. It might be a good idea for you to stay out of the conference room for the rest of the day.”

Rey is only too happy to have an excuse to avoid her coworkers. She sits at her desk, getting a head start on her other projects. After a few minutes, Ben comes in from the hallway. He sits down at his desk, cold and collected as he begins to type. 

A few minutes later, Snap comes in. Rey tenses, her discomfort only growing when he walks towards her. Behind him, she can see Ben watching with narrowed eyes. 

“Hi, Rey.” Snap stops short beside her desk, clearly uncomfortable.

“What can I help you with?” she asks coolly. 

He rubs the back of his neck. Ben is standing up now. “I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier. It was really inappropriate.”

“It was,” she says, not letting him off the hook. “It was incredibly inappropriate.”

Snap looks as if this is not at all the way he wanted this conversation to go. “Yeah. Uh. I’m really sorry.”

“Is it going to happen again?” she asks, wondering where this strange assertiveness is coming from. 

“No,” he says, but he doesn’t look certain. “I’m sorry, Rey.”

She turns back to her computer screen. It takes Snap a moment to get the message. Finally, he huffs and leaves. She waits until she hears his footsteps fade out into the hallway  before she looks up at Ben. He’s watching her out of the corner of his eye, and she doesn’t know if that makes things better or worse. 

_ Why did he kiss me? _ It still doesn’t make sense. They were outside, it wasn’t like he was overcome by her smell.  _ She _ certainly hadn’t been overcome by his. Maybe he’d sent himself into rut. Except...he’s not in rut. There’s no way he’d just be...sitting there if he was in rut. And she’s pretty sure she’d be able to smell it, and she can’t smell anything like it right now. So, no, he didn’t send himself into rut. 

Part of her thinks about just asking him. Just typing up an email the way they used to do and saying,  _ Hey Ben, I was wondering...what the fuck was up with that kiss? _ But she has a feeling he’d just go back to ignoring her. 

So she decides to make it impossible for her to ignore him. She stomps over to his office.

“Okay, seriously, what the fuck?” 

He blinks up at her. “What?”

“What is your deal?” she demands, folding her arms over her chest. 

Ben takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“Yeah, but why did you?” she wants to know. “After ignoring me all that time?”

He turns his eyes back to his computer screen. “Your scent. I couldn’t help it.”

Despite her anger, Rey feels a flush of pleasure at this admission. “Oh. Okay. But that still doesn’t explain why you’ve been ignoring me.”

“I haven’t been ignoring you,” he says, turning to look at her. “I just...you were so afraid of things being weird after...well, after, so I didn’t want to make them weird.”

“And this isn’t weird?” she asks incredulously. “Ben, we used to be  _ friends _ , and now you just...act like I don’t exist.” Her voice breaks and she’s furious to find how upset she is. “If I’d known you getting me through my heat meant losing you as a friend, I wouldn’t have let you.”

He has the most agonized expression on his face. “We’re still friends.”

“Are we? Because last I checked friends don’t make each other feel like shit.” 

Other people are starting to trickle in the office, so Rey goes back to her desk. Ben half-rises as if he means to follow her, but thankfully he doesn’t.

“Hey,” Rose murmurs as she takes her seat. “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” Rey says honestly.

Rose puts a hand on her arm. “Let’s go out after work. You, me, and Finn. We’ll get some happy hour drinks and talk shit.”

Honestly, that sounds amazing. She can think of nothing she’d rather do right now than go to a noisy restaurant and drink cheap alcohol while eating greasy appetizers and saying all the things they’re not allowed to say at work. Best of all, it means not having to spend another depressing evening alone.

“Okay,” Rey says with a smile. “Let’s do it.”

So after work, the three of them head over to the nearest TGI Fridays (“Are we allowed?” Rose jokes. “I mean, since we millenials are apparently killing their business.”) and order fruity drinks, mozzarella sticks, and loaded potato skins. It’s... _ fun _ . Finn is louder outside of work, and he has Rey and Rose in stitches once he gets going. 

“Okay, but real talk,” he says after Rose, wiping tears from her eyes, suggests maybe they should keep it down lest they get booted from the restaurant. “What’s going on with you and Ben?”

Rey’s smile fades. She sits up straighter, taking a sip of her water. “Nothing.”

“Really? Because it seems like...something.”

Finn and Rose are both looking at her with interest. Rey feels her happiness evaporate. “We had sex. Everyone knows that.”

“Yeah, I’m talking about  _ now _ ,” Finn says. “What’s going on with you guys  _ now _ ?”

“Nothing,” she says again. “It was just during my heat, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“No offense, but I think it did,” Rose says honestly. “You guys have been really weird around each other ever since then.” 

Rey shrugs. “He’s been avoiding me. It’s pissing me off.” She debates telling them about the kiss and then decides it’s better not to fan the flames. 

“Is he the friend who was trying to set you up with his other friends?” Rose asks.

Rey flushes. “Yeah.”

The other woman nods sagely. “I had a feeling. He doesn’t want to make things weird.”

“He made things weird when he started ignoring me,” Rey mumbles.

“Maybe he’s trying to give you space,” Finn suggests. 

“Yeah, well, he’s doing a great job.”

Finn and Rose exchange another look. 

“Do you... _ want _ him to give you space?” Rose prods.

Rey flushes again. “I...we were friends before. And now we’re not. And I’d like to go back to being friends.” It isn’t  _ un _ true. It just isn’t the whole truth. She wants to be friends with him again, yes, but she wants to pick up where they left off before her heat. Before that, even--she wants to go back to that night at the bar, when she drank so much that Ben wouldn’t touch her. Would they have had sex if she hadn’t been drunk? She thought so at the time, and she still wants to believe it, but part of her is so afraid. What if she just made things up? 

“Rey, don’t try to hide it--you are obviously thirsty as hell for Ben,” Finn says matter-of-factly. “And he’s  _ clearly _ thirsty for you too. You two just need to fuck it out.”

“We already fucked it out,” she points out.

But he shakes his head. “You two fucked during your heat, and that’s a very different thing. You have to fuck when your biology isn’t forcing you to. One of you has to initiate heat-free sex.”

Rey chews the inside of her cheek. “Hmm.”

“Call him,” Finn urges.

_ “What?” _ Rey and Rose chorus at the same time.

Finn nods enthusiastically. “Call him! Hash this out while you’re not at work! Invite him over to...is it offensive if I say knot you?”

“It is in this context, but I’ll let it slide this time.” She considers Finn’s suggestion. “I don’t know.”

“Do it!” Finn wheedles. “You both clearly have a lot of repressed emotion about this whole thing.”

Well, he’s right about that. And really, what’s the harm? Ben is her friend. He still thinks he is, anyway, even if he’s been acting like a giant dick. Though, he didn’t think he was ignoring her, and even though he definitely was, maybe that means he’d be more receptive to Rey opening up a dialogue about their relationship. 

“Okay,” she says at last. “I’ll call him.”

“Do it now,” Finn urges.

Rey sighs and gets up, taking her phone with her. She doesn’t want Finn and Rose to hear this. She walks out to the parking lot, trying to calm her nerves as she goes through her contacts and calls Ben Solo. She has no idea what she’s going to say, and a lot of that will depend on whether she’s able to get him on the phone or not.

To her relief and horror, he answers.

“Rey?” His voice is oddly strained.

She exhales. “Hi. Um...I think we should talk.”

He sucks in a breath. “Now’s...really not a good time.”

She feels a flash of irritation. “You can’t avoid me forever, Ben. You said we were still friends and you also said you weren’t ignoring me, but right now you’re--”

“I’m in rut.”

There’s a beat where this information sinks in.

“Oh.” She feels unaccountably hot all of a sudden. There are two ways to make rut end. The first is to wait it out, which can take a few days depending on how hard it hit the alpha in question. The second...is for the alpha to knot an omega. “Are you...are you alone?”

“Yes,” he says, and suddenly his strained voice makes more sense.

“I’ll come help you,” she says before she quite knows what she’s saying.

Ben makes a small groaning noise. “Rey, you really don’t have to--”

“Do you not want me to?”

That groan again. “I do, but...have you ever been with an alpha in rut?”

“You helped me through my heat,” she says stubbornly. “So I’m going to help you through your rut. It’ll go away if you...if you knot me, won’t it?”

“Rey, you might not like me like this--”

“Ben.” She takes a deep breath. “I want to do this. Okay?”

There’s a long pause where she thinks maybe he’s going to turn her down, but then he says in that cold, calm voice that seems to come with being an alpha, “Okay. Hurry. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

She shivers. “I’ll be there soon.” She hangs up and practically skips inside, where Finn and Rose are looking at her expectantly.

“I have to go,” she says, reaching for her purse. “Can I pay you back later? Do you use Venmo?”

“Rey, just go!” Rose laughs. 

“Go climb that mountain,” Finn whoops.

Rey leaves in a flash, trembling with excitement as she pulls out of the parking lot. She  _ hasn’t _ ever been with an alpha in rut, but she knows Ben, and some deeply omega part of her thinks that Ben could do just about anything to her and she’d like it. And yeah, maybe she needs to unpack that thought later, but right now she can’t bring herself to care. She’s going to see Ben again and he’s going to fuck her brains out and they can figure the rest of it all out tomorrow.

The drive is only about twenty minutes, but it feels agonizingly long. Rey is unsurprised to find herself already wet, which is a good thing--Ben is  _ huge _ , and if he’s in rut, well…

She touches herself a little, moaning in the emptiness of her car as her fingers run up and down the seam of her sex. She thinks of Ben and how good his knot feels inside her. Maybe he’ll call her kitten again. Oh fuck, why does that turn her on so much?

By the time she pulls into his parking lot, she’s a wet mess. She trips up the stairs, knocking urgently. Ben opens the door before she’s lowered her fist, using her extended arm to tug her into the apartment. His eyes are dark and blazing, and as soon as he closes the door behind her he slams her against it, lowering his head to claim a kiss. Rey goes limp in his arms, mouth opening pliantly beneath his. His kiss is hard and hungry, leaving her breathless; she gasps for air when he pulls away to nip at her scent gland.

“Are you sure about this?” he asks her, practically trembling as he tries to rein himself in.

She nips at his neck. “Positive...Alpha.”

The effect it has is instantaneous. Ben growls and, in one fluid movement, picks her up and throws her over his shoulder. She gives little more than a dignified squeak before he lumbers to his bedroom, throwing her down on the bed. Rey is  _ ridiculously _ turned on, heart racing as she wonders what Ben is going to do to her. 

Ben reaches down and literally  _ tears _ her shirt off of her, buttons flying as he goes. Rey yelps in surprise, unable to believe that he would do something so... _ sexy _ . Aggressive.

Alpha.

“That’s my shirt,” she protests weakly as Ben takes off her shoes and yanks at her pants. 

“I’ll buy you another one,” he says in a gruff sort of voice. And for some reason, the thought of Ben buying her clothes because he’s ripped her old ones in his eagerness to fuck her sends a ridiculous thrill up her spine. She takes off her bra, squealing when Ben rips her panties, too. He gives little thought to his own clothes, tugging them off impatiently. Rey watches with anticipation, feeling quite as needy for him as she did during her heat. Her neediness only increases when she sees his cock, hard and ready. 

“Alpha,” she whispers.

He pounces on her, kissing and biting every inch of her while his hands and hips press her into the mattress. It feels good, to let him take control. Rey moans, her back arching as Ben grazes her nipple with his teeth. One hand cups her between her legs before two fingers slide inside her. She can take his fingers, but only just, and with a small growl, Ben clambers down her body, licking and sucking her clit while his fingers pump in and out of her. Rey digs her fingers into the sheets, hips arching up and off the bed as he coaxes an orgasm from her. Her cunt is still spasming when he withdraws his fingers and crawls up her body, pinning her wrists above her head as his cock pushes into her so quickly that it takes her breath away. She lies there for a long moment, her walls stretching pleasantly around his girth, before her breath returns, rushing in through her nose and out through her mouth in a small whimper. 

“God, you’re still so tight,” he grunts, and she can tell the effort of thrusting slowly is killing him. 

“You’re just big,” she murmurs. 

He kisses her, one hand reaching down to circle her swollen clit.

“No,” she says, trying to wriggle away. “It’s too...it’s too much, just keep...mmm…”

He sits back on his knees, hauling her hips up off the bed so that he can keep thrusting into her. Despite the hardness of his thrusts, she knows he’s being gentle, and that sends goosebumps down her neck. Even when he’s rutting, even when he told her he wouldn’t be himself, her alpha is taking care of her. 

It’s this thought more than anything that sends a rush of slick between her legs, makes them both moan as he suddenly moves easier inside her. His thrusts become faster, needier, drawing out keening noises from Rey. 

“Alpha…” she whines, and with a growl, he pulls out of her. She cries out at the loss of contact, but he flips her roughly onto her stomach and pries her legs apart, fucking her so hard that she screams into his pillow. It smells like him, the whole bed smells like him, she’s surrounded by that delicious, safe smell, and when she comes he  _ roars _ before his knot swells inside her and she makes a noise that is absolutely inhuman.

Sweating and shaking, they fall onto their sides. She can feel his heart thunder in his chest as he wraps his arms around her, holding her against him. After a long moment, she asks, “Better?”

He releases a deep sigh. “Much. Thank you.” He seems calmer now. Sated.

“So you gonna go back to ignoring me?”

He nips her neck just a little too hard. “I wasn’t trying to ignore you.”

“But you  _ did _ ,” she says plaintively. “You fucked me better than I’ve ever been fucked and then you ignored me.”

“Fuck,” he mutters. “If I wasn’t already coming…that was really the best you’ve ever been fucked?”

“That, and just now.” She’s being honest--no one’s ever fucked her like that. 

He buries his face in her neck, and she knows that she’ll smell like him tomorrow. “I like you too much,” he mumbles. “I knew you just needed...someone to get you through your heat. I didn’t wanna make things weird. But then I saw you at work and I knew there was no way I could go back to what we were. I wasn’t ignoring you because I was impossibly aware of you at all times. I tried to put some distance between us because I was afraid I’d...I don’t know…”

“Kiss me?” she says wryly.

He sighs. “Yeah.”

“I wish you had.” She tries looking over her shoulder at him, but it’s not an easy angle so she gives up. “I thought you were disgusted by me.”

“I’d never be disgusted by you,” he says with sudden ferocity. “You’re my--” and then he cuts himself off.

“I’m your what?” she prods. She wants so badly for him to say it, to call her his omega the way she keeps accidentally calling him her alpha. 

“My kitten,” he murmurs, and that, somehow, is so much better than being called his omega. 

She lets this sit for a long moment. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yes.”

“Was Hux actually supposed to show up that night, or were you just trying to get me alone?”

He groans. “Was it that obvious?”

“A little,” she admits. “Follow-up question.”

“Uh-oh.”

“What did Phasma say to you when she left?”

He sighs, his breath warm on her skin. “She said she wasn’t going to ruin my friendship with her by sleeping with someone I’m obviously...very attracted to.”

“So you were into me,” she murmurs.

He kisses her neck, his teeth dragging on her skin. “I’ve been into you for a long fucking time, Rey.”

She feels so stupid. How hadn’t she noticed? “I shouldn’t have gotten drunk that night. I should’ve stayed sober and not made an idiot out of myself.”

“Okay, in all fairness, you are  _ adorable _ when you drink.” 

“Thank you, but I was trying to seduce you.”

“I know.”

Now it’s her turn to groan. “Great.”

“We got there in the end. And I...what was it you said? Fucked you better than you’ve ever been fucked in your life?”

“Are you gonna let that get to your head?”

“I’m an alpha, of course I am.”

They’re quiet for a long moment. 

“What happens now?” she asks at last. “Are we...what are we?”

She can feel him smiling against her neck. “I think it’s too late to go back to just being friends.”

“I don’t want to just be friends anymore,” she tells him. 

“Yeah, I don’t either.”

They’re quiet for a long moment.

“I wanna be with you,” she murmurs at last. “I want to be yours. And I want you to be mine.”

“I want that too,” he says almost at once. His hand finds hers, twining their fingers together. “I’m sorry I was such a dick.”

“I guess you’ll just have to make it up to me.”

He smiles again. “Yeah? How will I do that?”

“I have a few things in mind.”

.

When his knot finally goes down, he pulls out his laptop and opens up Netflix. Rey honestly doesn’t remember what they watch because she and Ben keep nuzzling each other, and finally he has to slam the laptop shut and shove it under the bed before fucking her again. She falls asleep with his knot inside her, utterly content.

.

They both groan when Ben’s alarm goes off.

“Let’s call in sick,” he mumbles, drawing her closer to him.

“People will talk if we’re both out again,” she points out. “Plus it’s Friday, we just have to get through today and then we have the whole weekend.”

He kisses her. “I’m not letting you out of this bed all weekend. I hope you know that.”

“I look forward to it.” 

They shower together, and though they’re both tempted to try a morning quickie, they know it will only make them late. Ben is shaving when Rey pads into his bedroom and remembers her ripped clothes.

“Fuck.”

“What is it?” he asks from the bathroom.

“You ripped my clothes last night.”

There’s a pause. “Oh,” he says at last, meek. “Uh...maybe we can stop by your place…?”

But that, Rey knows, will definitely make her late to work. She keeps a spare pair of underwear in her purse just in case (omega bodily fluids can truly be the worst), which solves that problem, but she still doesn’t have a shirt, and even if she did have time to sew all the buttons back on hers, she has a feeling it’s beyond repair.

“Can I borrow one of your shirts?” she asks, having an idea. “And a belt?”

“Yeah,” he says, peering out from the open door. “But I don’t think they’ll fit.”

“You didn’t leave me with a lot of options,” she says wryly. She rifles through his closet until she finds a denim button-up and a brown leather belt; she rolls up the sleeves of the shirt and then cinches it with the belt. It looks like an intentional outfit rather than a last minute solution. Best of all, it means Rey gets to wear something that smells like Ben all day.

“I’m gonna have a hard-on all day,” he tells her as he dresses. “Seeing you in my clothes…it does things to me.”

Rey can imagine that, being an alpha, seeing his omega wearing his clothes is like seeing her announcing that she belongs to him. Not that anyone at the office will know. Well, except for Poe, but Rey somehow doubts Poe will say anything about it. Being an alpha himself, he’s probably just relieved that Ben is more or less paired. Not bonded, not mated, but there’s an omega in his life and that should be enough to quell the black moods he gets himself into.

They take their own cars because they decide that they don’t want anyone at the office to know. This is still new, something they’re trying to figure out, and they don’t want an audience. So Rey leaves a few minutes before him, pulling into her space and then hustling inside just in case he got all green lights and is right behind her.

Rose is smirking at her when she sits down at her desk. “Good morning, Rey.”

“Good morning, Rose.” Rey focuses on logging into her computer, starkly aware that Rose is watching her. She went over the marks Ben left on her with concealer, so unless she missed a spot, Rose shouldn’t be able to see anything, and given that she’s a beta, she definitely shouldn’t be able to smell anything.

But Rose definitely knows that she left TGI Fridays last night to see Ben, so it won’t do to lie to her.

“How was your night?”

“Really good,” Rey says with a smile.

Rose beams. “Yeah?”

Rey nods. “Oh yeah. Really good.”

“Are you two together now?” Rose whispers.

Rey shakes her head and types up an email.

_ Yes. Sort of. We’re still figuring it out.  _

_ YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

Rey catches Ben’s scent and looks up, unable to help smiling as he heads into his office. He glances at her as he takes a seat, giving her a smile of his own.

Rey gets another email from Rose.

_ Is it possible to go into heat from watching two people look at each other? _

Rey bites her lip. She’s gonna have to be more subtle.

.

Only, it’s really hard to be subtle. She smells like Ben, which is really nice except for the fact that Poe can also definitely smell it. He keeps looking at her and Ben curiously, but they don’t say anything and he doesn’t ask. 

Her panties are at least a little damp for most of the day, and at lunch she almost considers asking him to get her off. But Poe would be able to smell that, too, and anyway it’s not worth one of their coworkers walking in on them, so she decides to hold off until tonight.

They go to her place after work—taking separate cars, of course. He meets her out in the parking lot and then slings her over his shoulder, carrying her up to her apartment. He doesn’t even let her down to unlock the door; he instead makes her hand him her keys so he can do it. He carries her all the way to the bedroom, where he throws her down on the bed and yanks off her underwear. She starts to take off her borrowed shirt, but he stops her, growling, “Leave it on.” 

He eats her out until she’s a sopping, sobbing mess, and then he climbs up her body and fucks her silly. They lose their clothes somewhere along the way, and by the time he knots her they’re both naked, bare chests pressed together as they try to catch their breath. 

“Did you have a hard-on all day?” she teases.

He strokes her back. “ _ Raging _ . And don’t think I couldn’t smell how wet you were all day.”

She can’t even be embarrassed about it. Instead, she giggles. “Do you think Poe could smell it?”

“Could you, like, not talk about another alpha while I’m knotting you?” he asks, and even though it’s meant as a joke she can detect an underlying note of uneasiness.

“I’ve been thinking about your knot all day,” she tells him seriously. 

Ben makes an approving rumble. “That’s better.”

They spend all weekend wrapped up in each other. Mostly fucking, but because Rey isn’t in heat this time, she actually gets hungry so they have to stop for meals. They even go out for brunch, grinning at each other like idiots over strawberry and nutella crepes. Rey tastes the powdered sugar later when she’s kissing him, wrapping her legs around his waist as he thrusts into her. 

When they’re not fucking or eating or sleeping, they talk. He tells her that he’s an only child, that he was an unexpected child. 

“That’s what my parents keep calling it,” he says. “A surprise. It’s a nice way to say a mistake.”

He tells her about all the rage issues he had growing up, how no matter how often he’d try to hunker down and make himself smaller, puberty sent his hormones into a tailspin and made him lash out. He got expelled from a couple different schools, something that his father, who’d had to work his way out of a nasty childhood and even nastier early adulthood, never understood. Only his mother, an alpha, did, but she was always busy with her career. He tells her how lonely he felt, how even now he feels out of place and unwelcome everywhere he goes.

Rey tells him about her own childhood. She doesn’t normally tell people about that, but she feels like she can trust Ben. She tells him that she remembers being six when her mother left her at a church, her voice slurring as it always was after she drank too much as she told Rey to be quiet and wait. She’d never heard from her mother again. Over the years she’d started lying to herself, telling herself that her parents were coming back for her. The worse her foster homes became, the easier it was to believe the lie. It wasn’t until she was nineteen and sitting in a therapist’s office that she was forced to confront reality, that she’d never known her father and that her mother hadn’t wanted her. 

“That’s awful,” Ben breathes. “Rey…”

“It’s okay,” she says honestly. “I resented her for so long, but now I just feel sorry for her. Something was eating her alive, and if she’d kept me...I mean, who knows what would’ve happened? I had a shit childhood, but I would’ve had one even if she hadn’t left me at that church. She might be dead or in jail for all I know. Or maybe she turned her life around and now she has a job and a boyfriend and a kid or something.”

Ben shakes his head. “You’re so...good.”

“I’m not,” she laughs. “I held onto my anger for so long but it just...left me exhausted. It’s easier to let it go and wish her the best.” Realistically, she knows that her mother is probably dead or dying from liver disease, that the woman probably never really regretted abandoning her daughter. But her therapist told her to think positive, so Rey tries to imagine her mother sobered up and got a nice job where she met a nice man and they bought a nice house and had a nice kid and maybe even a nice dog. 

“She didn’t deserve you,” he says flatly. 

“It’s in the past.” She climbs on top of him, straddling his hips. “I’m tired of talking.”

He grins up at her, stroking her thighs. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” She grinds against his cock, which begins to harden beneath her. “I want to fuck.”

“Bossy little omega,” he teases. 

“Mm, maybe you should put me in my place,” she suggests with a wicked look. 

Ben easily flips them over, pinning her beneath him. She beams up at him, squirming happily when he holds down her wrists with one hand. The other reaches down, alternating between stroking his cock and circling her clit. When he can fit four fingers inside her, he pushes the head of his cock in her, taking her earlobe between his teeth as he begins a slow and steady rhythm. “I love your cunt,” he tells her. “It feels like it was made for me.” 

She squirms again, rolling her hips into his. He bites her scent gland, eliciting a happy whimper from her as he begins thrusting harder. She can’t remember ever being so happy or unselfconscious with someone. Everything feels so  _ right _ when he’s inside her. It’s as he said: it feels like she was made for him. 

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's that time of the week!
> 
> Some of you have mentioned worrying that our kids are so happy when the chapter count is so high and...well, you're about to see why.

The bliss of their weekend together is shattered on Monday morning.

They take separate cars again and arrive at different times so as to avoid suspicion. Ben leaves ahead of Rey so that she can lock the apartment behind her; by the time she gets to work, he’s been pulled into the boss’s office.

Rey doesn’t think much about it, still sleepy from being pulled back into the working week, until Ben walks stiffly out of Peavey’s office. She watches him, more out of a desire to look at him than anything, and that’s when she realizes that something is wrong. He looks around his office for a moment, frowning, and then walks out and into the lobby. Rey thinks that maybe he left something in his car, but a moment later her phone buzzes with a text from him.

**_They’re putting me on leave._ **

She leaps out of her chair, hurrying out to the lobby and out the front doors. He’s standing by his car, looking absolutely miserable. 

“Ben…”

“Someone complained,” he says in a clipped tone. “About my outburst on Thursday. This isn’t the first time.”

Her heart begins to sink. “So they asked you not to come in.”

“They’re still paying me,” he says, giving his tires a small kick. “But. Yeah.”

“They didn’t fire you, though,” she says, trying to be optimistic. “That’s...good, isn’t it?”

He shakes his head. “They’re probably doing a test run. Or just trying to ease me out of it.”

“Maybe they really just want you to take a break,” she says softly. “Maybe just until Poe leaves--”

“Poe isn’t leaving.” He gives her a wry look. “He’s a better leader than I am, and people like him and hate me. He was meant to be my replacement all along.”

Rey doesn’t know what to say to that. 

He takes a deep breath. “I’m going home. Start applying for jobs.”

Her heart twists. “Are you gonna be okay?” 

He shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“Can I see you tonight?” she asks in a small voice.

“I don’t know,” he says again, and that makes her heart twist even more. “I don’t know what kind of mood I’ll be in.” He glances up at her and softens. “I’ll text you.”

She nods. “Okay.” She hesitates and then reaches for him. He folds her in his arms, kissing the top of her head as she squeezes him. 

“Text me constantly,” she mutters into his shirt. “Just so I know you’re okay. Or not okay. I just want to know how you’re doing.”

“Okay.” 

She stands on her toes to kiss him, not caring that they’re in the parking lot and anyone looking out the east windows could see them. She watches him get in his car and pull out, and then she heads back inside.

“What was that?” Rose asks when she gets back to her desk.

“They put him on paid leave,” Rey whispers. “He thinks they’re going to fire him.”

Rose’s eyes widen. “Wow.” Then she shrugs. “I guess with that temper, it was just a matter of time.”

Rey feels a sudden wave of protectiveness. “Don’t be an asshole.”

Rose blinks. “Whoa. Uh. Okay.”

Rey sighs. “I’m sorry, I just...I feel so bad for him right now.”

Rose doesn’t say anything, and Rey feels a little guilty for snapping at her friend. She feels even worse, though, thinking of Ben. 

He does text her throughout the day, alternating between dejected and spitting mad. He tells Rey that it feels like when he was kicked out of school all over again, that people see a glimpse of his alpha-ness and immediately assume he’s dangerous. It’s a side to non-beta life that Rey’s always been aware of in a distant sort of way, but she’s known so few alphas and none of them have faced such blatant discrimination. It’s different with omegas; they’re more likely to get passed over for promotions and not accepted into competitive programs, but Rey’s never known anyone to be expelled or fired for being an omega. 

He texts again around four.

**_I would really like to see you if you’re still up for it. I understand if you’ve had enough of me for one day though._ **

She texts back,  _ I’d love to see you. Let me stop by my place after work and then I’ll head over there _ .

His response is immediate.  **_Okay._ **

So after work she zips home, changing into more comfortable clothes and then throwing some things into a bag in case she sleeps over. 

Ben looks tired but happy to see her. Rey lets him vent while they make dinner, and even though he isn’t saying anything he hasn’t already said over text, she can tell that it makes him feel better to say it out loud. 

He pours glasses of wine for them--red for him and white for her--before they settle down to watch  _ Omegas _ , which is a pretty terrible show about some pretty terrible people living in New York, but it gets rave reviews and Rey kind of has a thing for the actor who plays the alpha boyfriend who shows up every now and then. 

But it is a pretty terrible show, and after a while Rey gets tired of watching terrible people be terrible, so she noses Ben’s neck. He must also be tired of the show because he nuzzles her, the hand at her hip squeezing gently. Rey moves to straddle his lap, kissing him as he gropes for the remote and pauses the episode--and thank god, because two of the characters are having really weird sex and it’s almost a mood-killer. Rey grinds herself against his hardening dick, grinning when he cups her bottom and drags her hips up and down. He’s wearing jeans and she’s wearing leggings, and the friction is absolutely  _ delicious _ . 

“Is this okay?” she asks. She’s pretty sure it is, based on his physiological response, but she has to make sure.

He huffs out a laugh, warm breath ghosting across her skin. “Rey. Touching you is goddamn amazing.” He stands up, taking her with him. “Let’s go to bed, kitten.”

Their lovemaking is slow and tender. They look into each other’s eyes for almost all of it, their bodies moving in tandem, two becoming one. Rey feels the tension melt off of Ben, and by the time his knot swells within her, he looks completely at peace. 

.

Rey soon learns that Ben is pretty much  _ only _ at peace when she’s around. She never really understood it before, why alphas mate with omegas, aside from the sex thing, but now she starts to get it. Alphas provide--whether that’s protection or food or shelter or a knot or whatever, that’s their biological imperative. Omegas, on the other hand, nurture. They soothe and heal; they bring alphas out of rut and make them want to settle down and be less aggressive. For once, Rey really starts to grasp the symbiosis of the alpha/omega dynamic. 

She spends every night at Ben’s place. She worries sometimes about being clingy, about taking this relationship too fast, but one afternoon she asks Ben if he wants some space and he sends her a frantic string of texts asking if  _ he’s _ the clingy one, does she want some space, he knows it’s not up to her to fix him but he just feels so much better when he sees her. Rey has never felt needed like this before, and she’s got to be honest--it’s really nice. 

Ben applies for other jobs. He polishes his resume and his LinkedIn profile, putting in applications on GlassDoor and Indeed and even signing on with recruiters. The big problem, though, is that there aren’t any jobs in a reasonable distance. They’d all require relocation. There are a few remote jobs that could be a good fit, but the competition for those is through the roof because everyone wants to work remote. 

Jakku, meanwhile, is miserable without Ben. Everyone is either indifferent to his absence or they’re straight up happy about it, even cracking jokes about his “temper tantrums”. Rey feels overprotective, and at the same time, completely helpless. She can’t stick up for him without dredging up the reminders that he’d helped her through her heat, and then everyone will watch her, wondering if they’re still together. She knows what they’ll say.  _ That poor omega, brainwashed into thinking he’s a good person just because he knotted her. How long do you think they’ll last? _

Poe, to his credit, doesn’t let anyone badmouth Ben while he’s around. Rey supposes she should be grateful for that, but really it’s kind of hard to be around Poe, knowing that he’s Ben’s replacement. For the most part, he respects her space, careful not to touch her and to only speak to her when other people are around if possible. Rey can’t tell if that’s because of sensitivity training or because he doesn’t want to upset Ben anymore than he already has by being too forward with an omega who absolutely reeks of the other alpha (because, yeah, there’s no way Poe can’t smell Ben on her as soon as she walks into the office). 

Two weeks after Ben was put on leave, Poe asks to see Rey in his office. She has an awful feeling of foreboding as he closes the door behind her, motioning for her to take one of the chairs facing his desk. He waits until they’re both seated before he leans forward. “Look, Rey, I don’t want to...assume things, but I know that you’ve been seeing a lot of Ben lately, and I...I want him to know something.”

She tenses. She has a bad feeling about this. “Okay.” 

He takes a deep breath. “He’s not supposed to know this, and you’re definitely not supposed to know this, so don’t...tell anyone else. But...at the end of the week, they’re letting Ben go.” 

Rey sucks in a breath. So Ben was right. “I see.”

“Please believe I had no say in this,” Poe says in a strained sort of voice. “I didn’t come here to ruin his life--”

“I know,” she says, shaking her head. “This is your job. It’s...I understand.” 

She just hopes Ben will, too.

She calls him at lunch, ducking outside the building so no one will hear her. She tells him what Poe told her, bracing herself for the worst.

Ben just sighs. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.” He hesitates. “It’s okay though, because I...got a job offer.”

“You did? Ben, that’s  _ great _ !”

“Yeah.” But he doesn’t sound enthused. “I’ll tell you all about it tonight.”

“Is everything okay?” she asks, feeling a trickle of unease. 

“Yeah,” he says, but his voice doesn’t become anymore reassuring. “I’ll see you tonight, okay?” And then he hangs up. 

Rey spends the rest of the afternoon worrying. Whatever job offer Ben got can’t be a good one, or he wouldn’t sound so unhappy about it. 

She heads straight to Ben’s after work, not even bothering to grab clothes--she’s left so many at his place and he’s done laundry so many times since getting put on leave that she’ll easily be able to recycle one of last week’s outfits tomorrow. That is, assuming she spends the night. She doesn’t know what Ben is going to tell her, but she knows she isn’t going to like it. 

He’s quiet when she gets there, giving her a distracted sort of kiss before turning back to chopping vegetables. She leans against the counter, watching him. “Ben.”

He sighs. “I called my mom last week.”

And that...isn’t what Rey was expecting. “O...kay…?”

He won’t look at her. “You know how I told you my mom was always busy when I was a kid?”

She nods.

“It’s because she’s a politician. She used to be a senator--technically she’s retired, but she’s always championing some cause.” He clears his throat. “Anyway, she’s been trying to get me to move back to Boston for years. I took this job to prove I could...I don’t know, do it on my own. That I didn’t need my mom to get jobs for me.” He gives her a wry smile. “Guess I was wrong.”

“Ben…” she says softly, because  _ Boston _ . That’s so far away. 

“Her PR person is this old family friend. She runs this PR firm that’s...actually really good. And because she’s an old family friend and because my mom asked, she gave me a job. A really nice job. It’s almost making it easy for me to swallow my pride.” He looks up at her. “So...I’m moving back to Boston.”

Rey feels as if the ground has opened up beneath her and she’s teetering on a tightrope, a second away from falling. “When?”

He hesitates. “Next week.”

She exhales a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. “Oh.”

He sets down his knife and reaches for her, drawing her tight against his chest. “I know,” he mumbles. “I almost didn’t take it, but I’m not gonna get a better offer...ever.”

“No, you should take it,” she says, voice muffled by his henley. “It’ll be good.” She pulls back, looking up at him with a sad smile. “It just feels like...it took us so long to get here, and now…”

“I know.” His face is pained. “Believe me, I  _ hate _ that I have to leave you here.” He hesitates. “I know it...we’ve only been together a few weeks, but...would you be willing to try long distance?”

Her shoulders sag in relief. “Of course.”

He kisses her. “Thank god.”

“Going through my heat alone again is gonna suck, though,” she jokes. 

“You’re not going through another heat alone if I can help it,” he says with such an authoritative tone that she gets a little wet. “I’ll fly here. Or I’ll fly you out to Boston. But I’m not fucking letting you go through it alone.”

“You’re gonna send me right into it if you keep talking like that,” she mumbles. 

Ben presses her back against the counter and sinks to his knees, pushing her skirt up around her hips. She bites her lip, watching as he pulls off her underwear. He kisses her cunt, his lips moving against hers. When he runs his tongue along her slit, she moans, one hand bracing on the counter behind her while the other runs through his hair. 

“You taste like me now, did you know that?” he asks in a low rumble that goes straight to her clit. “Whenever I eat you out, I can taste myself mingled with you.” 

She makes a small noise, her hips rolling into his mouth. He licks and sucks, hands at her hips, and when she whispers, “Ben,  _ please _ ,” he stands up and spins her around, bending her over the counter. She looks back to see him unzipping his pants, his cock stiff and ready, and then a moment later he’s inside her and she’s moaning. 

“I’m going to fill you with so much cum,” he growls in her ear, “that I’ll be able to taste it months from now.”

Rey buries her face in her arms, whimpering into the granite countertop. When she comes on Ben’s knot, she starts to cry. 

“Hey.” Awkwardly, he maneuvers them to the ground, wrapping his arms around Rey. “Kitten, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she lies. 

“Rey.”

“I’m just gonna miss you,” she mumbles. “I’m gonna miss...this. Coming home to you every day. Cooking dinner with you, having sex with you. Falling asleep beside you.” She knows she’s being a clingy omega, but she’s too miserable to care. “I want to do the long distance thing, I just…”

“It’ll be hard,” he murmurs. “I know. It’ll be hard for me too.” 

Somehow, she doesn’t think it’ll be that hard for him. He’s getting a good job in a big city. He’ll make lots of money and get to wear nice suits and play the part of the senator’s handsome son, and after a while he’ll get tired of his girlfriend out in the middle of bumfucknowhere, the girlfriend he sees increasingly less and fights with increasingly more, and then they’ll break up, and Rey will be alone again. 

She doesn’t voice any of this to him. She knows she’s being ridiculous. They’ve only been dating for a few weeks. He doesn’t owe her anything. 

It just isn’t  _ fair _ . They danced around each other for so long, and now that they’re together he’s moving to  _ Boston _ . There’s no way they’re going to survive such a long distance after such a short time together. This is almost surely the beginning of the end. 

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! I have something going on tomorrow so I'm updating a little early! This is gonna be a pretty short chapter and kind of filler, but don't worry, everything will fall into place soon. 
> 
> Also, for those that follow me on Tumblr, I changed my url to kylorenaissance. Come say hi!

Ben starts packing up his apartment. There are more boxes every time Rey comes over, more of his things missing. She doesn’t offer to help because she doesn’t think she can bear the thought of actively helping him leave; thankfully, he never asks her to do anything.

He hands in his resignation before Peavey can fire him. No one at the office says anything, which is how Rey knows they don’t know yet--she has a feeling they won’t figure it out until payroll checks everyone’s hours next week, and Ben will be gone by then. 

It’s so  _ soon _ .

She can’t stand it. She knows it’s childish of her, but sometimes she gets this swooping anger that he’s abandoning her. And he’s not, she  _ knows _ he’s not, she  _ knows _ this is a good opportunity for him, but what about  _ her _ ? 

_ Stop it _ , she chastises herself.  _ He isn’t your mate, he doesn’t have to go out of his way to make you happy. _

That doesn’t stop her from wishing he would, anyway.

He spends his last few nights at her place since all of his worldly possessions are slowly disappearing. They make desperate love deep into the night, holding each other a little bit longer, a little bit harder, with each passing hour. 

They barely sleep the night before he leaves. They’re both aware that every passing second is one second closer to the time they have to part. They drift in and out of an uneasy slumber, pressed so close together it’s like they’re trying to become one. 

When Ben gets up, Rey wraps her arms around his waist, keeping him in the bed with her. He’s strong enough that he could get up if he really wanted to, but he lets her pull him back down to the bed.

“I don’t want you to go,” she mumbles into his back. 

He sighs. “I don’t want to leave you.” 

_ Then don’t _ , she wants to say, but she knows that won’t do any good. She doesn’t want his last memory of her to be this weepy, wilting thing he’s leaving behind. Instead, she kisses his shoulder and climbs off the bed. “Come on,” she murmurs. “Let’s take a shower.”

They hold each other some more while they stand under the hot spray. Rey halfheartedly attempts to give him a blowjob, but neither of them are really in the mood, so he pulls her to her feet and wraps his arms around her again. 

After picking at breakfast, they head over to Ben’s. He’s hired a moving van to take his things to Boston; he’ll follow in his car. It will take him a couple days, and then he has a couple more to stay at his parents’ house and rest before starting the new job. Rey helps Ben load the last of his things into the van and his car, and then the moving van lurches out of the parking lot and it’s just Ben and Rey. 

They embrace for a long, hard moment. Rey tries so very hard not to cry. Just a little bit longer, she tells herself. Just ten more minutes and then you can cry all you want. 

When Ben kisses her, she tears up a little, but she forces a smile when he pulls back to look at her. 

“This isn’t the end,” he tells her. 

Rey doesn’t say anything, just buries her nose in the scent glands on his neck. He takes a deep breath. “I should go, kitten.”

She bites back a whine, forcing her arms to loosen their grip on him. She forces that smile again. “Text me when you stop for the night.”

“I will.” He kisses her again, hands gripping her almost painfully. She mewls, smelling his arousal, and then he tears himself away with a growl. “I have to go.”

She hangs back, watching him climb into his car. She keeps a smile on her face as he gets ready and then pulls out of the parking lot, waving to her. She smiles and waves until he’s out of sight. And then she gets in her car and cries. 

.

She doesn’t go into work that day. She called in sick early that morning, not offering any elaboration and knowing that no one will ask. She knows Peavey will probably send a passive aggressive email to everyone later, reminding them about sick leave, but she can’t find it in her to care. Even if she’d come in late after helping Ben move out, she knows she’d just be a sobbing wreck. Instead, she puts on pajamas and climbs into the bed that still smells like him. She cries for hours, finally letting herself feel all the things she’s been trying not to feel. 

By the time Ben calls around eight, she’s cried out; she’s curled up on the couch and watching Netflix with her phone clutched to her chest. She pauses Netflix at once.

“Hi,” she breathes.

“Hi.” He sounds exhausted. “I’m at a hotel. I can’t remember which one.”

“How was...driving?” she asks lamely. 

He lets out a small snort. “It was fine. I listened to an audiobook. The thought of doing it again tomorrow makes me want to die. I should’ve let the movers take my car and I could’ve taken a plane.”

“You and your alpha pride.” She tries to keep her voice light. Her heart has never felt heavier.

“Yeah, yeah.” She can hear him shifting. “How was your day?”

“Mm, boring. I spent most of it in bed.”

They chat for a little while longer, but it’s obvious that Ben is fading fast. She finally urges him to get some sleep. “You can text me in the morning. If you want.”

“I will.” He heaves a sigh. “Fuck, I haven’t slept alone in  _ weeks _ . What am I gonna do without you putting your cold little feet on me?”

“You like it.”

“I  _ love _ it,” he agrees. 

She bites her lip. “Is it lame if I say I miss you?”

“Yeah,” he says. “But I miss you too, so we’re both lame.”

“Go to sleep,” she says, smiling. 

“Night, kitten.

“Night, Ben.”

.

He does text her in the morning, not long after she wakes up.

**_Morning, kitten._ **

_ Morning <3 how’d you sleep? _

**_Surprisingly well. Still sucks waking up without you._ **

_ Yeah :/  _

They exchange texts until he gets back on the road, which is around the time Rey has to leave for work anyway. 

The morning goes slowly for Rey, who needs to catch up on yesterday’s missed work but lacks the enthusiasm and energy to do it.

“You still seem out of it,” Rose comments. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, just...out of it,” she says, which isn’t untrue. 

Ben texts her later to let her know he stopped for lunch. Barring bad traffic, he should get to his mom and dad’s place around 8 or 9. He’s staying there until he can get his own place. Rey knows he’s not looking forward to it—his relationship with his parents is strained as it is, and having to move in with them after trying so hard to establish his independence is a blow to his pride. An alpha thing, she decides. Rey’s always been independent but it’s never been by choice. She would happily move in with her parents if she had any to speak of. Real parents who loved her, that is, not the foster families whose homes she’d passed through. If she had real parents, she would’ve gone to school somewhere close by and then moved in just down the road, always close enough to pop in. 

Ben texts again around 8:30 her time, 9:30 his time. 

**_Made it to Mom and Dad’s. Mom has already asked about my love life. Dad and I have already gotten into an argument._ **

_ I’m sorry, _ she texts back. Privately, she’s desperate to know what he told his mother. 

**_It’s okay--it was a small argument._ **

She hesitates, and then types,  _ So what did you tell your mom? _

She sees the gray bubbles start, stop, start, stop, and then start again.

**_She smelled you on me and wanted to know “who I left behind.” And then, in the grand tradition of mothers, wheedled me until she learned every detail about you. She’s a big fan of you now, just so you know._ **

Rey feels absurdly pleased at the notion of his mother liking her. 

He texts again.  **_Sorry, I hope that didn’t freak you out._ **

_ Not freaked out at all, _ she’s quick to assure him.  _ I hope I get to meet her someday. _

Ben doesn’t answer for a long minute, and she wonders if that was too forward. 

**_I hope so too._ **

**_I’m gonna crash. I miss you._ **

_ I miss you too. Sleep tight.  _

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, and Happy Fanfic Writers Appreciation Day! Make sure you tell your favorite writers how much you love their work!
> 
> I think you guys will like this chapter...and that's all I'm saying about that ;)

The next couple of weeks are agonizing. Between putting his stuff in storage, apartment hunting, and of course, starting his new job, Ben is barely around. They text everyday, but Ben’s responses are sometimes hours apart. Rey, who has absolutely nothing going on in her life, tries not to take it personally--she knows he’s got a lot on his plate.

He does ask about the office, though, and he sends her the listings for all the apartments he’s looking at. She tries to imagine Ben in them, coming home after a long day or cooking in the kitchen. Sometimes she imagines she’s there with him. 

By far her favorite is a brownstone in Back Bay. It’s big--big enough for a man like Ben. It has hardwood floors that look new and a skylight in the living room. There’s a back porch, too, and from it you can see the skyline. 

“You should get that one,” she tells him when he calls her that night. They’ve only talked over the phone a couple times since the move, which is mostly because of his busy schedule and the lack of privacy at his parents’ house. It’s wonderful and terrible all at the same time to hear his voice. “It’s perfect. It...I’ll be so mad if you get any other place.”

He laughs. “Wow, okay. I’ll put in an application.”

“Hmm.”

“I’ll put in an application and offer to pay more than the other applicants, how about that?”

“Good,” she says in satisfaction. She doesn’t know why it matters so much that he gets it--they could break up and she might never get to see it. But, a stupid, hopeful voice inside her says they might stay together and she might get to see it after all. She might get to see  _ him _ again. “Give me a facetime tour when you’ve moved in.”

“I will.” He pauses. “Can we switch over to facetime now? I want to see you.”

“Yes.” She pulls the phone around to face her as she hits the button. His face comes into view, a little blurry but there all the same. He looks exhausted, but he smiles when he sees her. 

“There’s my girl.”

She hopes he can’t see her blush from his end. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He’s sitting up in bed, it looks like, a lamp bathing him in warm light. “You look comfy.”

“I am.” She’s wearing a t-shirt from college and has her hair in a messy ponytail. She’s also lying down in her bed, propping the phone against her pillow. “You look tired.”

“I am.” He rubs his jaw. “It’s a lot of work. I like it, though. Just means I don’t sleep as much.”

“You should sleep,” she says before she can stop herself. “It’s important.”

“I know.” He sighs. “It’ll be easier when I have my own place. This is a big house, but it’s...I don’t know, I haven’t stayed here in years. I’m not used to sharing a living space with people. People who aren’t you,” he amends. “Also...I apologize in advance for this, but I just have to tell you that I haven’t jerked off once since I got here.”

She flushes. “Oh.”

“I don’t know how I did it when I was a teenager,” he mutters. “I’m so paranoid now.” 

“Hmm, well, we know how you’ll be spending your first night in the brownstone.” For some reason, this makes her rub her thighs together. 

“I wish you were here,” he murmurs. “I think I’d risk my parents overhearing if you were.”

She buries half her face into her pillow, blushing furiously. She imagines Ben fucking her in his childhood room, both of them trying to muffle their moans but unable to make the bed any less creaky. 

“You dirty girl,” he breathes, eyes growing dark. “You’re thinking about it right now, aren’t you?”

“Mm-hmm.” She can barely look at him. Her underwear is damp. “I haven’t gotten off since you left, either.”

“Poor kitten,” he says softly. “Let me help you.”

She whimpers. She’s never done this before, but the idea of Ben watching her touch herself, urging her to get herself off…

“Rey,” he says in the low voice he uses when they’re having sex--or about to. “I want to see you touch yourself.”

She whimpers again. “Yes, okay...how should I…?”

“Hang on a second.” He leans out of frame for a minute and then returns with earbuds. “Sorry,” he says sheepishly. “I don’t want my parents to hear you.”

She flushes all over again. “Think I’ll be noisy, huh?”

“Kitten,” he says with the utmost confidence, “I know you will be.”

She nearly comes from that alone. “What should I…?”

“Put the phone where I can see you.  _ All _ of you.”

It takes some figuring out, but she finally figures out how to prop the phone up against her bunched-up comforter so that he can see her spread legs--and what’s between them. 

“You’re not wearing any pants,” he observes gleefully. 

“It’s  _ summer _ ,” she reminds him. “It’s  _ hot _ .”

“Rey, I’m gonna be hard all the time now, imagining you going to bed like that.” He looks at her appreciatively. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

“Shut up,” she mumbles, wriggling out of her t-shirt. She lifts her hips and pulls off her underwear, furiously avoiding eye contact with Ben as she does. Even so, she can see him watching her with that same appreciative gaze. She reclines against her pillows, spreading her knees and revealing her glistening cunt to him. 

“Fuck,” he breathes. “Fuck, I wanna touch you so bad.”

“How do you wanna touch me?” she asks quietly.

“Circle around your clit,” he orders. “But don’t touch it yet.”

She does, biting her lip at the sensation. It’s so good, but it isn’t enough to get her off. Ben is going to take his sweet time with her. 

“Squeeze your tits,” he says. 

She uses her free hand to knead the small mounds of flesh, moaning at the dual stimulation. When she plucks a nipple, he looks as if he has half a mind to get on a plane and finish the job. 

“Show me how wet you are, kitten,” he urges next, and she does, dipping a finger inside herself. Her bedroom light catches the slickness on her finger as she withdraws it; she smears it over and around her clit, making the sensation of her fingers that much more pleasurable. 

“That feel good, kitten?”

“So good,” she moans. “Mmm, Ben…”

“Put...put two fingers inside yourself.” He’s watching raptly, plush lips parted as he watches the hand at her breast drift down to her cunt. She slips two fingers inside her opening and crooks them in a come hither motion. Ben looks as if he’d like nothing better than to come hither. “Rey,” he groans, and she realizes that he’s palming himself through his sweatpants. “Fuck, keep...keep doing that.”

She lightly thrusts her fingers inside her, building up the tension she so badly needs to release. 

“Another,” he pants. 

She slides another finger inside her opening, and this feels so good, so  _ full _ after two weeks of nothing. 

“Ben…” she moans.

“Don’t come yet,” he orders in that alpha voice that always makes her want to obey. “Don’t come until I tell you to, you got that?”

“Yes,” she whines.

“Yes?”

“Yes,  _ Alpha _ .”

He seems satisfied. “Good. That’s my good little omega.”

She bites back a moan, so,  _ so _ close to coming. 

“Fuck, I love seeing you like this,” he murmurs. “You’re so wet and worked up and I’m not even there. This is all for me. You are  _ mine _ .”

“Please let me come,” she whimpers. “Please, please—“

“Fuck.” He rubs his jaw as if he’s unable to believe what he’s seeing. “You wanna come, kitten?”

“So bad—please—“

“Come for me, Rey.”

She does, her cunt clenching on her fingers. She arches her back, unconsciously thrusting her hips closer to the phone as she cries out in relief. 

Trembling a little, she reaches for the phone with the hand that isn’t soaked, bringing it up to her face. In the little window, she can see her flushed cheeks. Ben looks pained. 

“Do you want me to…?” she starts to ask, but he shakes his head with a rueful smile.

“Nah, I’ll take care of it in the shower.” He shifts, wincing. “Which I should do soon.”

“Okay,” she says, unable to keep from grinning. “Thank you for getting me off.”

“Kitten,” he breathes, “thank  _ you _ .”

.

Ben moves into the brownstone. As promised, he offered to pay more than the other applicants. Rey doesn’t ask how much, but she saw the listing online and knows that he’s paying at least a couple grand a month. That seems to be pretty standard for Boston, and she definitely knew people who paid that amount for crappy studios in New York, but the amount is still a little staggering after spending over a year in an apartment for which she only pays a few hundred a month.

And Ben doesn’t appear to need to budget to maintain such an expensive dwelling, either; once a week, he sends her a surprise present. And not cheap presents, either; he sends her real Colombian coffee, designer chocolates, earrings. One week she even gets an enormous bouquet of roses that he sends directly to the office. Everyone teases her about it for the rest of the day.

“So you and Ben are serious, huh?” Rose asks, smelling the roses for what has to be the fifteenth time that day.

“I guess so,” Rey says with a huge smile. She thanks him that night by letting him watch as she gets off on her vibrator. 

“Is that your only toy?” he asks her later, after he’s jerked himself off and they’re lying sated in their respective beds. 

She shows him her rabbit, a rare luxury to which she’d treated herself a couple years ago, and the cheap dildo with a “knot” at the base. 

“That’s nothing like a real knot,” he says in an almost offended tone. 

She shrugs. “The realistic ones are expensive. And I didn’t like being with alphas before you, if you’ll remember, so it wasn’t like I knew what I was missing out on.”

His offended expression changes to a grimace. “Rey. That is unacceptable.”

“It’s fine,” she says, but that’s only half true—her toys are paltry compared to Ben’s cock. But she used them long before she met Ben, and she’ll use them until she sees him again.

The next week, her present arrives in nondescript packaging. Inside is a toy that she’s heard about but has never actually thought about buying because she doesn’t believe in spending that much money on a sex toy. Ben seems to have no such reservations.

It’s a knotting dildo. It’s roughly the same length and size as Ben, and a knob at the base makes the knot bigger and smaller. She takes a picture and sends it to Ben, who responds immediately.

**_The next time I see you, I’m going to fuck you silly and I want you to be nice and ready for me._ **

**_There’s one condition, though--you can only use it when I’m watching._ **

Rey wants nothing more than to hop on the toy right now and get herself off. But Ben’s condition...excites her. She’s no stranger to sex toys, but the idea of only being allowed to use  _ this _ one while he’s watching…

They use it that night. She thinks idly of playing with herself before then, just to be ready, but something tells her Ben won’t want her to do that unless he’s there. 

Sure enough, as soon as his face appears on the screen, he gives her a mock-stern look. “You haven’t played with it yet, have you, kitten?”

“No,” she says truthfully. She’s naked, because she saw little point in waiting until the call to take off her clothes. They both know what they’re going to do tonight. “I haven’t played with myself at all. I’ve been waiting for you.”

He hums in satisfaction. “Good little omega.” 

“I’m so wet,” she tells him. “Just thinking about it.”

“Show me.”

She does, arousal already trickling out of her slit. He urges her to touch herself while he tells her all the things he wants to do to her, how he’s gonna fuck her to within an inch of her life. She comes on her fingers, and that’s when he tells her to use the toy. 

It’s better than any toy she’s ever had. It fills her so completely that she has to thrust slowly, only able to take so much. Ben urges her on, praising her beautiful cunt, his good little omega, she’s doing so good…

“I want it,” she mewls, sweating as she thrusts with quick, hard strokes. “Please, Alpha, I need to be knotted…”

“Do it,” he orders. “The knob…”

She twists slowly, crying out as it fills her. She twists until her cunt squeezes, her climax roaring through her. She screams, hips canting desperately as she comes on the knot. A low, gentle pulsing from the toy simulates the pulsing of a real knot--it isn’t quite the same thing, but it’s enough to convince herself for a moment that it’s Ben’s knot inside her.

He comes just by watching her, groaning as he spills into a wad of tissues. Rey is too exhausted to move, just lying there, limbs akimbo as her cunt periodically clenches. 

“How is it?” he asks when he’s cleaned himself up. 

She jerks her shoulders, hands flopping uselessly onto the bed. “Mm. Good. Really, really good.” She lifts her head long enough to look at him. “Almost as good as the real thing.”

“Almost,” he echoes.

“ _ Almost _ ,” she emphasizes. “Nothing feels as good as you.”

He makes a low, satisfied rumble. 

Rey feels the knob at the base of the toy. “Does it go down by itself?”

“No, I think you have to,” he says, frowning. “Done already?”

“Half the fun of knotting is being attached to you,” she says, slowly releasing the knot inside her. “No point if you’re all the way on the east coast.”

He looks annoyed at the reminder. “I’m trying to make this work.”

She sits up, surprised at the change in his tone. “I...I know,” she says, eyes wide. “And I’m really glad you are.” And she is--she’d been so sure that they wouldn’t last. And sure, it’s only been a couple months, but so far they still talk or text every day, and these sexy facetime sessions happen several times a week. That’s a good sign, isn’t it?

He opens and closes his mouth a few times, as if he wants to say something but doesn’t know how to. Finally, he shakes his head. “I’m tired. I should go to bed.”

Rey starts panicking. “Ben? What did I say?”

“It’s nothing.” But he won’t look at her. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Ben--”

But he hangs up.

The sweat on Rey’s skin cools, making her shiver. She replays their interaction over and over in her head, trying to figure out what she did to upset him. The only thing she can think of was that she didn’t keep the knot inside her for very long, but that’s a stupid reason to get mad. She picks up the phone and texts him with trembling fingers.

_ I don’t know what I did wrong _

_ Can you please explain it to me? So I understand and can apologize and not do it again? _

_ I know it must have upset you a lot for you to end the call the way you did and I’m sorry but I don’t know what I did. I just want to make this right. _

To her relief, he calls her.

“I’m sorry,” he says in a tired voice. “I thought...I thought you were mad at me.”

“ _ What _ ?” 

“I don’t know, it’s...I think I’m just projecting.”

She tries to process that. “So...are you saying you’re mad...at me?”

“No,” he says quickly. “I’m frustrated by this whole situation. I knew dating long distance would be hard but…”

She sighs. So that’s it. “Yeah. I’m...I’m trying to make it work, too.”

“I know. I know we both are. I was just frustrated, I shouldn’t have said that.” He heaves a sigh. “I like you so much and I feel like...I don’t know, I’m worried it isn’t enough for you.”

“For  _ me _ ?” She could almost cry. “Ben...you’re the one who moved to a city and has a great job and a gorgeous apartment and you have, like, a life now, and I’m just the boring omega you left behind, and meanwhile I’m sure Boston is full of like, omegas who are models or yoga instructors and have enormous tits--”

She realizes Ben is laughing.

“What’s so funny?” she demands.

“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to laugh at you, I just...you think I’d leave you for a yoga instructor with big tits?”

“Uh. Yeah?”

“Rey,” he says seriously. “I’m so into you. No one...comes  _ close _ to you. Meeting you was the best goddamn thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

She flushes. Her impulse is to believe he’s lying, just saying sweet things to keep her calm, but...he doesn’t have to. They don’t work together anymore--he lives in Boston, completely out of her reach if he wants to be.

“Meeting you was the best thing that’s ever happened to me too,” she says softly. “Even if you’re kind of an asshole sometimes.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, and he truly sounds it. “I shouldn’t have hung up on you. I was just afraid I’d...fuck up or something.”

“Hanging up on your naked girlfriend isn’t fucking up?”

She can hear him wince. “That’s a fair point. I...what can I do to make this okay?”

She considers his question. “You can apologize and promise it won’t happen again.”

“I’m so sorry I hung up on you,” he says earnestly. “And I promise I will never do it again.”

She relaxes. “Thank you.”

“Thank  _ you _ for putting up with me.”

“It’s not putting up with you if I want to do it.”

She can hear a sharp intake of breath on the other line. “I don’t deserve you, you know that?”

“Shut up.”

They talk for a while longer, Ben’s tone abundantly conciliatory. It’s only when she glances at the clock and realizes how late it is for him that she urges him to hang up and get some sleep. Just before he does, he asks, “Am I clingy?”

“Are  _ you _ clingy?” She’s taken aback. “No? Not even...a little bit.”

He releases a breath. “I feel like I am.”

She considers this. “I read somewhere that ‘clingy’ is a word alphas use to like...police omega behavior. Omegas who have standards and want to have a relationship are called clingy to shame them into being used by alphas who don’t want to commit.” She takes a deep breath. “Obviously that’s not the case here, but maybe you’re not clingy so much as you just want a relationship, and that’s something alphas aren’t really...used to wanting.”

Ben’s quiet for a moment, and she worries that maybe she offended him. “That’s...probably true,” he says at last. “I’m not...used to this...I don’t know, level of...intimacy.”

That surprises Rey, for some reason. Maybe it’s because Ben is older and she expects him to be worldlier because of it. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

Ben is quiet for a long moment again. “I thought I was, once,” he admits softly. “The first omega I ever…” He sighs. “It wasn’t love, though. Just. Infatuation.” He pauses. “Have you?”

“I thought I was once, too,” she admits. “But I was more in love with the idea of being in love than I was with the person.”

“Yeah.” 

“Yeah.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

“Goodnight.”

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

Ben has been in Boston for almost three months when something occurs to Rey. She checks the heat calendar app she keeps on her phone and realizes, with some horror, that her heat will happen relatively soon. And then she becomes even more horrified because she had an extremely early heat, so she isn’t sure what this means for her body. At the time, she’d been so consumed with Ben that it hadn’t occurred to her to find out when her next heat will be. Will it be six months from her normal heat? Or six months from the accidental heat she’d had? Will it even be in a normal time frame? 

She calls Dr. Kanata to ask. 

“It’s hard to say because this is such an anomaly,” the older woman says. “Can you talk to your boss about it? Let them know the timeframe for your heat is variable?”

Rey blows out a breath. “It’s a bit more complicated than that. My, uh...my alpha...we’re sort of doing long distance right now.” It feels good to say  _ my alpha _ . She realizes with a jolt that she hasn’t really said it to anyone until now. “So we need to um...plan for it.” 

“Ah, I see.” Rey can hear the clacking of a keyboard. “In that case, I think your best bet will be to induce your heat.” 

“Induce my heat?” 

“I don’t normally recommend it because it’s not an exact science,” Dr. Kanata explains. “But I think it’s what you should do in this instance.”

“What does it mean to induce your heat? What does that involve?” Rey asks, the cogs already turning.

“It will require going off your suppressants,” Dr. Kanata says. “To be induced, your body needs a certain level of...suggestion. Try to plan for the time your heat would normally come. If you can, I’d advise setting aside a couple of weeks. You’ll need to do plenty of activities to get your heart rate up--yes, that includes sex--and you’ll need to make sure you and your partner are scenting each other often. It can take time, but if this is the first time you and your partner are seeing each other in a while, it should happen fairly quickly.”

“Right, okay.” Rey thinks fast. She can go off her suppressants--she has an implant, so birth control won’t be a problem. “How long after going off suppressants…?”

“Oh, immediately. You can skip your daily dosage pretty much the first day you decide to try inducing.”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“It’ll work,” Dr. Kanata says smoothly. “Omegas always go into heat after going off suppressants; by keeping up your heart rate and scenting your mate, heat is inevitable.” 

Rey considers this. It’s her best bet; the alternative is to just sit around and wait, and that’s not convenient for anyone. 

She texts Ben as soon as she gets off the phone with Dr. Kanata.

_ Can you call me tonight? Need to talk to you about something. _

His response, half an hour later, is concerned.

**_Is everything okay?_ **

_ Everything’s fine, I promise.  _

**_What’s going on?_ **

_ It’s nothing serious, it’s just about my next heat. _

She sees the gray bubbles for a long minute before he finally sends a response.

**_Okay. I’ll call you when you get off._ **

Sure enough, Rey has barely gotten in her car at the end of the day when her phone rings. She waits to answer until she’s turned on the ignition, the bluetooth picking up and putting them on speaker. 

“Hi.”

“Hi,” his voice says from the speakers. “What’s up?”

She starts to pull out of the parking lot. “So...you know how I had that totally random heat?”

“I definitely do,” he says. “What about it?”

She takes a deep breath. “So, I wasn’t sure what it meant for my next heat, and when I talked to my gyno about it she said there isn’t really a way of knowing if it’s six months from the first heat or six months from the second one.”

“Okay…”

“Which is obviously inconvenient.”

“Right.”

“So she suggested...inducing a heat.”

“Inducing?”

“Yeah.” Her voice is coming a little bit higher and a little bit faster for some reason. “Basically, I can...make myself go into heat. And that way I’ll know when I’m having it and it won’t be, like...some random event.”

Ben is quiet, and that makes her nervous. 

“Ben?”

“I’m here.”

She chews the inside of her cheek. “So...she said I should aim for the usual time, which is in...a little over a month.”

He’s still quiet and she’s still nervous.

“I just thought,” she says, voice a little squeaky, “I mean...you said you...you said you’d help me through it and...um…”  _ Needy little omega _ . But he  _ had _ said he’d help her through it. Though maybe that had just been in the heat of the moment. No pun intended. 

“I will,” he says abruptly. “I...fuck, Rey, of course I’ll help you through it.”

She sags in relief. “Oh, good.”

“I told you I wouldn’t let you go through another heat alone,” he says, his voice brushing on a growl. “I’ll take such good care of you, kitten.”

“Ben, I’m  _ driving _ ,” she says weakly.

“So?”

“So you can’t get me all hot and bothered when I’m in rush hour traffic.”

“Why not?”

“ _ Ben _ .”

“Fine. Will you fly out here for it?”

She hadn’t really considered that. She’s always had her heats in the privacy of her own home, so it seemed logical to assume she’d have this one here, too. But flying to Boston makes more sense. She’ll already get a week of heat leave, and then she can take another week of vacation days. That way, too, Ben doesn’t have to take off two weeks of work; she can spend however many days it takes inducing herself into her heat, Ben can take off three or four days to fuck her through it, and then he can go back to work while she spends the next few days recovering. 

“That would probably be better, wouldn’t it?”

He exhales with a rush of static. “You’ll love it here,” he tells her. “And you’ll finally get to see the apartment you liked so much.”

She’s seen the pictures and videos he’s sent her, but she knows that nothing will compare to actually being in that beautiful little home. “Yeah…”

“Send me the dates,” he goes on. “So I can check my calendar and get your ticket.”

“ _ Ben _ ,” she says, flabbergasted. “You are  _ not _ getting my plane ticket.”

“You’re flying out to see me, so I should pay for your ticket,” he says stubbornly. 

“This is very alpha of you.”

“An alpha should provide for an omega going into heat,” he says. 

“We live in the twenty-first century, Ben.”

“Please let me do this  _ one _ thing for you.”

“ _ One _ thing?” she gapes. “Ben, you’ve done so much for me already.”

Ben is quiet for a long moment. “Rey,” he says at last, sounding almost desperate. “I can’t...I’m not there for you the way I should be. You shouldn’t  _ have _ to cross the country for me. I…” He takes a deep breath. “I know you value your independence and I fully respect that and encourage it, I just...I feel like I’m letting you down enough as it is, and I would really,  _ really _ appreciate it if you’d let me do this thing. I know it’s an alpha pride thing but it’s important to me.”

Rey considers this. “You’re not letting me down,” she says slowly. “But if it’s that important to you, I’ll let you buy my ticket.”

He sighs in relief. “Thank you.”

It’s not like it’s a huge sacrifice on her part—that’s a few hundred dollars she can keep in her bank account. And some part of her is pleased that she’s satisfied her alpha. She just wonders how Ben can possibly think he’s not doing enough for her. 

“So I’ll send you the dates,” she says, clearing her throat. “The um...my gyno said to allow two weeks…”

“Good,” he says, sounding pleased. “Then I get to have you for two weeks.”

She knows he means have her all to himself, which pleases her, but it sounds like he means have her  _ sexually _ for two weeks, and that also pleases her. It’s also, she thinks, probably not wrong. Unbidden, an image comes to mind of his bed, tucked into that alcove she’s seen in pictures and videos; she imagines him fucking her on it, his thrusts hard and unrelenting and  _ exactly _ what she needs while he calls her a good little omega and she comes and comes and comes. 

This is going to be the longest month of her life.

.

She sends the dates to Ben, who dutifully adds them to his calendar and buys her two plane tickets—one to Boston and one from. Rey hasn’t flown on a plane since moving to New York for college and the idea of doing it again terrifies and excites her. 

She submits the paperwork for her heat leave and her vacation days, something Peavey does not fail to mention when he next sees her. 

“Are you really going on heat leave, or is this just an extra long vacation?” he asks when she steps into his office to get his signature. Poe is also there, going over something on his laptop, and he looks up in surprise at this query. 

She blinks at Peavey. It’s an extremely inappropriate question, but he’s her boss, so it’s not like she can call him out on it. “Heats...happen every six months...you can check the calendar…”

Peavey’s face turns an unflattering shade of red. “The timing is just suspicious, is all I’m saying.”

Rey doesn’t know what to say. She’s afraid that if she admits that her heat and her vacation coincide, he’ll try to make it all vacation days, and since she doesn’t have two weeks’ worth of vacation days, the second week would come out of her paycheck. Which means she’d have to go without one-fourth of her monthly check. But if she lies to him and is caught, she could get fired. 

“Sir, maybe you weren’t aware of this,” Poe says smoothly, “but it’s really rude to ask questions about heats, especially in the workplace.” While Peavey turns purple, Poe turns to Rey and calmly says, “I sent you the updated spreadsheet, can you get cracking on that?”

Rey knows an out when she sees one, so she says, “I sure can,” before walking out of Peavey’s office as quickly as she can without looking suspicious. She half expects Peavey to shout after her, but he doesn’t. In fact, she doesn’t see him for the rest of the day, which is a relief. 

She finds Poe later to thank him. 

“He shouldn’t be talking to you like that, I don’t care if he’s a beta,” Poe mutters. “It’s your time off.”

Rey feels a rush of admiration for him. It’s nice to have an advocate. “Well, really, I appreciate it.”

“Of course,” he says. “We non-betas have to stick together, don’t we?”

The words remind Rey too much of Ben and how they’d come to be friends in the first place. She forces a smile and then heads back to her desk.

She doesn’t mention the incident to Ben because she knows he doesn’t want to hear about Poe. Even though Ben has a better job now and gets paid more than Poe, he will never not be bitter about the way Jakku replaced him with the other alpha. She doesn’t mention, either, when Poe invites most of the office to his house for a casual get-together the weekend before she flies to Boston. She just tells him she’s going to a party and remains intentionally vague about the details. She hitches a ride with Finn and Rose, the latter of whom has volunteered to act as the designated driver in case Rey and Finn have a little too much fun. 

Poe’s place is nice. It reminds Rey strongly of a beach house, despite the fact that they are the textbook definition of landlocked. Inside, he has colorful art and accent pieces from his family’s home of Guatemala. Outside, he has hundreds of string lights threaded along the porch and in the trees of the backyard. Despite being fall, the weather is still fairly warm, so most of the attendees hang out in the backyard. Snap is at the grill, proudly doling out regular and veggie burgers; beside him is a cooler of beer, cider, water, and soda. It’s all very chill, and after a couple drinks, Rey finds herself having a better time around her coworkers than she ever has.

Not that she has, like, a  _ great _ time. They’re all still betas, many of them older than her and many of them with questionable political ideologies. She stays close to Finn and Rose and tries not to wander too close to the grill lest she’s forced into conversation with Snap. 

At some point, she’s lost sight of Finn and Rose and her bladder becomes heavy with the cider she keeps drinking, so she slips inside to use the bathroom.

_ I lost you, where did you go? _ she texts Rose while she’s on the toilet, but the other woman doesn’t respond. 

She goes to the kitchen to pour a glass of water and finds Poe throwing away some used paper plates. Outside are the sounds of the party, laughter and light music. 

“This is really nice,” she tells him, pouring herself a glass. “Thanks for doing this.”

“Thanks for coming,” he says with a smile. “Seriously, I’m glad you made it.”

“Oh, yeah, you know me and my busy social life,” she jokes. 

Poe leans against the counter. “How’s Ben?”

She tenses. No one talks about Ben anymore. He’s old news. “He’s...good. He got a job in Boston.”

“Boston.” Poe raises his eyebrows. “That’s...a big change.”

“Yeah. It’s a really good job, though,” she says loyally. “He likes it.”

“That’s good.” He watches her. “You must be kinda lonely, though.”

Rey shrugs, unwilling to get into all  _ that _ with her supervisor while she’s at his house and a bit tipsy. “Oh, well, you know,” she says lamely.

Poe moves closer, and she suddenly becomes aware of the warm, tangy scent emanating from him. “And you go on heat leave this week,” he murmurs. “That’s no good.”

Rey, without quite knowing how it happens, finds herself backed up against his counter, with Poe so close he could kiss her. 

“What are you…?” she starts to ask, and then he really does kiss her.

It’s not...a bad kiss. For being one-sided, that is. Rey has no idea how to react because she honestly, genuinely did not see this coming. Poe, on the other hand, obviously knows what he’s doing. He takes Rey’s passiveness for submission, his hands coming up to cradle her jaw. That’s when she regains her senses enough to push his chest--not strong enough, she hates to admit, because he doesn’t let go of her. 

“What are you  _ doing _ ?” she asks, ducking her head when he tries to kiss her again.

“You smell so good,” he tells her, his nose pressing against her temple. “Rey, let me help you through your heat.”

She pushes much harder at that. “What the  _ fuck _ ?” she asks angrily. 

Poe blinks. “You’re going on heat leave...and Ben is in Boston…”

“I’m going  _ to _ Boston!” she says, wanting, for some reason, to cry. “I’m having my heat in  _ Boston _ with my  _ boyfriend _ .”

Poe looks stung. “You really think that will last? Alphas and omegas weren’t made for long distance. You need an alpha who’s  _ here _ , an alpha who will take care of you--”

“Fuck you,” she snaps. “By which I mean I will  _ not _ fuck you.” She storms outside, looking for Finn and Rose. She’s ready to go now, and the sooner, the better--tears are already gathering behind her eyes. Poe’s scent follows her, and with horror, she realizes that it must be on her now.  _ I smell like another alpha, I smell like an alpha who isn’t Ben _ \--

“Has anyone seen Rose?” she asks around.

“I think she went to her car,” Kaydel finally supplies. “Finn left his jacket there or something.”

Rose had had to park further down the block, so Rey heads down the sidewalk, hoping Rose will be okay with taking her home.

But Rose, she discovers, will  _ not _ be okay with that change of plans, because Rose is currently sitting in the front seat of her car, making out with Finn. Rey stares at them in shock for a moment, unable to comprehend what she’s seeing. Slowly, she backs away and then returns to Poe’s house, where she collapses on the front stoop. How long has this been going on? And why didn’t they tell her?

She’s still sitting on the stoop, pulling up Uber to see if she can get home that way, when Kaydel comes around the front. 

“Rey? You okay?”

“Not really,” she says honestly. “I’m trying to find an Uber.”

Kaydel clucks her tongue. “Come on, I’m giving you a ride.”

“Oh, you don’t have to--”

“Shut up and get in my car,” the other woman says, jingling her keys. 

Rey obediently follows her.

“What happened with Rose?” Kaydel asks. 

Rey huffs out a laugh as she buckles in. “She’s making out with Finn.”

Kaydel’s eyes widen. “Wow. Okay. Did not see that one coming.”

“I didn’t either,” Rey admits. “But it happened at the worst time.”

Kaydel pulls out of her space. The speakers are turned down low, but the screen tells Rey that she’s listening to Liz Phair. “What happened? Unless you don’t wanna talk about it?”

Rey hesitates, and then decides that she’s too hurt and angry and lonely to pretend this isn’t bothering her. “Poe...hit on me.”

“Of course he did,” Kaydel snorts, sounding totally unsurprised. Then, throwing a sympathetic look at Rey, she says, “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

“I guess?” Rey shakes her head. “It was just so weird. I didn’t see it coming. I thought...I thought he was just a cool boss.”

“Look, I know I’m a beta,” Kaydel says. “So I don’t have your scenting abilities. But I’m also a lesbian, and we’re really good at sniffing out assholes--and I gotta tell ya, I sniffed him out a long time ago.”

Rey chokes out a surprised laugh. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Kaydel nods sagely. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s all progressive and sensitive and he definitely cares about like, creating safe work environments and all that. He’s definitely the safest-feeling dude in the office, if that makes sense? But he is obviously used to getting his way both at the workplace and in the bedroom. I had a feeling he’d be into you because you’re the only omega in the office.”

Rey grimaces. “Well, you were right.”

“What did he do?” Kaydel asks. “Should I turn around and kick his ass?”

“No,” Rey says, although the thought is tempting. “He just...so I’m going on heat leave next week, and he was all...oh, you’ll be so lonely, and then he kissed me and told me he wanted to get me through my heat, and when I told him I’m going to see my boyfriend who will get me through it just fine, he got really gross and said I need an alpha around to take care of me.”

“Fuck that,” Kaydel says with a scowl. “That’s the most...alpha-centric bullshit--”

“ _ I know _ !” Rey shouts. “Like what the hell!”

Kaydel shakes her head. “Seriously, do you want me to turn around and kick his ass?”

“No,” Rey sighs. “I want to eat my feelings.”

They end up at a Sonic, sitting in Kaydel’s car while munching on fries and burgers. Kaydel surprises Rey by telling her that she’s been with her alpha girlfriend since college, but her girlfriend is in grad school in California right now and they’ve been long distance for almost a year.

“It’s been really hard,” Kaydel admits. “I offered to move with her, but we decided maybe it was better if she focused on her school work. And she’s applying to PhD programs, so we don’t know where she’ll end up, you know? And she was really adamant that I not uproot my entire life just to follow her around, even though I’d totally do it because I care way more about her than this fucking job.”

“What would you do if you followed her around?” Rey asks.

Kaydel shrugs. “This, I guess. You can be an administrative assistant anywhere. And anyway, it doesn’t really matter because in a few years she’ll have a doctorate and get a great research opportunity and I’ll be her trophy wife.”

Kaydel’s joking, but there’s a grain of truth to what she says—she  _ could _ work just about anywhere.  _ So could you, _ Rey thinks. She’s had almost two years of experience working for a marketing firm and she worked several internships for reputable marketing firms before this. Finding a job in another place, finding a job in a  _ city _ , wouldn’t be impossible. 

_ Stop it _ , she tells herself. Ben hasn’t exactly invited her to move to Boston. Just because he’s flying her out there to fuck her for two weeks straight doesn’t mean he wants her to  _ live _ with him. 

“I can hear you thinking,” Kaydel teases. “What’s up?”

Rey shakes her head. “It’s just...Ben and I are...also doing the long distance thing right now.”

The other woman makes a sympathetic noise. “That’s shitty, dude.”

“Yeah, it’s...it hasn’t been easy.” Rey closes her eyes, head thumping back on the seat. “Part of me wants to just...stay with him and not come back here.”

“I don’t blame you,” Kaydel says bluntly. “This place fucking sucks.”

“Yeah.”

Kaydel hesitates. “Is there a reason you... _ can’t _ stay with him?”

Rey squeezes her eyes shut again. “He hasn’t exactly invited me.”

“Oh my god.” Kaydel looks half-amused, half-exasperated. “He’s your boyfriend. You shouldn’t have to be invited. Not if you’ve been dating this long. Though,” she amends, “lesbians are different. That stereotype about bringing a U-Haul on the second date? Totally true.”

“I just don’t wanna be a clingy omega,” Rey mumbles, aware even as she says it that clingy is a policing word. 

“ _ That _ stereotype isn’t true. Alpha men are some of the clingiest motherfuckers in the world,” Kaydel informs her. “Have you even talked to him about any of this?”

“Uh…”

“Rey,” Kaydel says in a flat tone. “Talk to Ben. Tell him you’re fucking miserable here and that alphas are literally throwing themselves at you and if he wants to keep you around he’d best roll out the red carpet.”

Rey groans. “Fuck, I don’t want to tell him about Poe.”

“Mmm,” Kaydel hums. “Maybe you should like...hold off on that.”

Rey glances at her. “Really?”

Kaydel shrugs. “Alphas get really jealous. You gotta handle that stuff...delicately.”

Rey knows that Ben will be furious when he finds out, and she decides that tonight, at least, is not the right time to tell him. She will  _ definitely _ tell him later, just. Not now. Not when she’s homesick for the way he smells and she wants nothing more than to fall asleep with his knot inside her. 

  
  



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! An early update! I'm going through a rough time and some of y'all helped me out so this is my way of saying thanks <3 
> 
> A LOT of you expressed concern that Ben would be able to scent Poe on Rey, so just to clear that up: in my head canon of this world, an alpha's scent only lingers after prolonged contact. Since Poe only kissed Rey for a few seconds and she has several days in between the kiss and flying to Boston, Ben won't be able to scent it.
> 
> I'm really glad so many of you liked Kaydel--I'm gonna have to write her into more of my fics.
> 
> Enjoy!!

The next few days pass in a blissful haze. Rey is too excited to see Ben to let anything upset her, even Poe.

He tries to talk to her a few times at work, but she always brushes him away easily. She can smell the fear on him, the worry that she’ll go to HR and tell them what he did. Rey does nothing to assuage his fears, because truthfully, she hasn’t decided what she’s going to do, if anything. 

She doesn’t tell Ben about it. Part of her feels bad for keeping it from him, but she knows that if she does tell him now, it will hang like a dark cloud over them when she visits. She does tell him about Finn and Rose, only because she’s having so much trouble processing it herself. She hasn’t told them that she walked in on them. If she wasn’t so focused on her impending visit, she’d probably feel hurt that they hadn’t told her, especially when she’s told them about Ben. How long have they been...whatever it is they are?  _ Are _ they even anything? Was it a one-off thing they hadn’t planned and never plan on doing again? 

“Honestly, I always thought Finn was into you,” Ben says when she tells him. 

“I thought he was gay,” Rey admits. 

“Maybe we’re both right—maybe he’s bi and  _ was  _ into you but now he’s into Rose.”

“Hmm. Maybe.” She bites her lip. “I’m really excited to see you.”

“Me too,” he says eagerly. “Just a few more days.” He clears his throat. “By the way, my, uh, parents found out you’re coming, and...they really want to meet you, so they invited us to dinner.”

Rey flushes with pleasure. She’s never met the parents before. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He sighs. “They insisted. And since we’re gonna try to induce the day after you get here, I thought maybe the safest time would be the day you get in, so that way you don’t go into heat in front of my parents.”

Rey  _ really _ appreciates that—she would die if the first time she met Ben’s parents ended in her going into heat. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me just yet—they’re a lot,” he grumbles. 

“It’s just one dinner,” she says consolingly. “And then you’ll have me all to yourself.”

“Yeah.” The grumbling is gone from his tone. “I hope you’re ready, because I’m not letting you out of my bed.”

She flushes, biting back a smile. “Good.”

She can hear him take a deep, steadying breath. “I’m going to fuck you so much you’ll forget what it feels like to not be fucked. I’m going to fuck you until you forget everything that isn’t me.”

Unbidden, a moan escapes from between her lips. She can practically hear Ben smirking as he says, “I want you to do something for me, kitten.”

“Yes,” she says at once, already knowing she’d do anything he asked when his voice sounds like that.

“I don’t want you to touch yourself until you get here.”

She squeaks. “But--”

“Uh-uh. No touching yourself, no getting off. I want you to be desperate for it by the time I see you.”

“I’ll be desperate anyway,” she whines. “Please let me come before Friday.” 

Ben sucks in a breath. “Fuck, I love to hear you beg.”

“Please,” she wheedles. “You’re making me so wet…” When he doesn’t relent, she breathes, “Please... _ Alpha _ .”

“Fuck,” he says again, his voice a little ragged. Then, “No. I want you to wait.”

“That’s mean,” she pouts. “What if I don’t wait?”

“Then I’ll be very disappointed.”

Something about that word-- _ disappointed _ \--and the way he uses it makes her still. Some primal omega part of her fills with worry. She doesn’t want to disappoint her alpha. She wants to be a good omega and do everything he asks of her. 

God, they aren’t even bonded--how does he affect her so much from hundreds of miles away? Realistically, she knows nothing would happen if she disobeyed him, in this or any instance. It’s not like he’d break up with her or refuse to fuck her through her heat. If she did something he asked her not to do, she knows her “punishment” would entail nothing more than an extra dirty fuck. But that word-- _ disappointed _ \--sends fear pulsing through her veins. She doesn’t want to disappoint him. She doesn’t know why, but the thought of disappointing her alpha is an upsetting one.

“Rey? You’re quiet…”

“Sorry,” she says. 

His voice is serious now. “Was that too much? Did I upset you?”

“No,” she says. “I...I’m fine.”

She must not sound convincing, because he asks, “Are you sure?”

She hesitates. “Do I...disappoint you?”

“What? No! Rey, you...you’re amazing. You’re better than I deserve. You could never disappoint me.”

_ Will you say that after I tell you about Poe? _ “Okay.”

“Sweetheart, I was kidding, I don’t...I’d never find you disappointing.”

She takes some small reassurance from his words. “Okay.”

“Rey, if you...if you want to touch yourself, that’s fine, I don’t own your body, you can do whatever you want--”

She laughs despite herself. “No, it’s fine, I...I’ll wait until Friday.”

“Rey…”

“It’s  _ fine _ ,” she insists. “You’d just better deliver.”

He’s quiet for a moment. “Is that a challenge?”

“Hmm, maybe.”

He huffs out a laugh. “Oh, I’ll deliver, sweetheart.”

Rey knows he will.

.

Her flight leaves Friday morning. It’s only a two hour flight, but because of the time difference, it’s early afternoon by the time they land. 

Ben is waiting for her at baggage claim. He nearly takes her breath away because he looks so  _ good _ . She’s seen him on facetime, of course, but a grainy image of a sleepy, half-naked Ben is  _ very _ different from an in-person, fresh-faced, suited-up Ben. She’s kept her promise and hasn’t touched herself, something that she becomes embarrassingly aware of as her cunt slickens. He gathers her in his arms, burying his face in her neck. He feels so good, he  _ smells _ so good. He smells...right. He smells like coming home. 

“You smell so good,” he says, echoing her thoughts. “Fuck.”

“ _ You _ smell good,” she murmurs, her own nose finding the scent glands on his neck. They breathe each other in for a long moment, smelling until their lungs and veins are full of each other’s scent. Then Ben threads a hand in her hair and tilts back her head for a kiss.

Kissing him is amazing. It’s been  _ months _ , and it feels so good that, were it not for his arms wrapped tight around her, she’s sure she would sink to the ground. Her arms wind around his neck, holding her up as her knees go weak. 

“I missed you, kitten,” he murmurs, and she very nearly collapses then and there.

They wait for her suitcase, unable to let go of one another until it finally rounds the bend. He leans forward and easily plucks the suitcase off the conveyor belt, setting it down on the floor with a click. “Come on, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “Let’s get you home.”

_ Home _ . It isn’t Rey’s home, it’s his, but she knows it will feel better than her real home  _ because _ it’s his. He’s going to take care of her, he’s going to provide her with everything she needs, because she’s his omega.

The drive is only about twenty or thirty minutes, but it passes in a blur. The car smells like him, intoxicating her until she’s drunk off his scent. She wants him so badly, she  _ needs _ him so badly, she needs him to fuck her  _ right now _ …

Dimly, she’s aware of him stopping the car and tugging her up a set of stairs. She follows blindly, eagerly, knowing what awaits her at the top. Ben’s arm loops around her waist, holds her against him as he unlocks the door, and then they’re stumbling inside. 

He wastes no time in shedding their clothes. She doesn’t remember who takes off what, but suddenly they’re naked and his hand is at her cunt and her back is arching as she mewls. 

“You’re so wet,” he breathes, two fingers curling inside her. “You’re ready for me, aren’t you, kitten?”

“Yes,” she whines, arms around his shoulders. “Yes, I’m so ready, I need it so badly, I need  _ you _ so badly--”

She doesn’t even have time to finish, because he slips his fingers out of her and hoists her up by the hips. In another second he’s sheathed within her, hot and hard and stretching her as only he can. She clings to him tightly, desperately, her back thumping against the door as he fucks her. He kisses and nips at her neck, big hands sure and strong on her hips. 

“Ben,” she whines. “Ben, you feel so good,  _ Alpha _ …”

He bites her scent gland, and it feels so good that her hips rocket against his own. 

“Ben!” she sobs. “Ben please please please I’m so close fuck oh fuck oh  _ god _ \--”

And then she feels his knot and she  _ screams _ , sinking her teeth into his neck as an orgasm rips through her. She comes for what feels like hours, one wave of pleasure after another whiting out her vision and taking her breath away.

It leaves her a sopping, shuddering mess, and all she can do is hang limply to Ben’s shoulders.

“Good,” he murmurs. “That’s my good little omega.”

She whimpers, limbs like jelly. He carries her to the couch, sitting back against the cushions and holding her against his chest. He strokes her back and her hair, murmuring, “Good little omega,” over and over and over. 

And that’s when she starts crying. 

She hates herself for it. After months of being separated, months of texts and phone calls that are never quite enough, months of worrying that she’d never get here, that Ben would find another omega and decide she was unworthy, she’s finally here, with him, on his knot, and crying.

“Rey?” he asks, voice lined with panic. 

“I’m sorry,” she sobs. “I just missed you so much.”

He relaxes, kissing the top of her head. “I missed you too, kitten.”

She shakes her head. “I missed you so much it  _ hurt _ .”

“It hurt me too,” he assures her. “But you’re here now, it’s okay.”

And then she does something that’s even worse than crying.

She blurts out, “Poe kissed me.”

If she wasn’t physically locked to Ben right now, she would get up and jump out the window.

Ben stiffens. “What?”

She buries her face in her hands. Why? Why did she have to go and say that? She was planning to tell him after her heat, not  _ now _ , not now that they’ve been reunited for less than an hour and she’s on his  _ knot _ . 

“Rey.” His tone is commanding. Angry. “What happened?”

“I didn’t kiss him back,” she whispers, trembling. “He...the party last weekend was at his house, he kissed me and offered to get me through my heat.”

Ben wrenches her shoulders back, forcing her to look at him. He’s furious. “What did you say?”

“I told him my  _ boyfriend _ was getting me through it.” She’s shaking now. “I pushed him away, I didn’t...I didn’t  _ want _ him to hit on me…”

Ben closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. His knot is starting to fade, which both relieves and upsets her. “I know. I...I’m sorry. I panicked.” She’s still shaking, so he gathers her against his chest again. “I’m sorry, I freaked out. I’m not mad at you.”

“It’s okay if you are,” she mumbles. “That was really bad timing.”

To her surprise, he huffs out a laugh. “No offense, but that was some of the worst possible timing.”

“I know. I wasn’t planning on telling you like this.” She looks up at him. “I swear I wasn’t leading him on or anything.”

“I know.” He heaves a shaky sigh. “I just freaked because...like...he took my job, and now he’s trying to take my girlfriend…”

“You got the better job anyway,” she reminds him. “And you got the girl, so.” 

His arms tighten around her. “Yeah, I did.” He pauses. “I’ll have to kick his ass, though.”

“Ben,” she laughs, even while her loins stir at the thought of him fighting another alpha for her. 

“It’s an alpha thing.”

“Hmm.” She settles against him, relaxed. He’s not angry. “Can I tell you something?”

“Did someone else hit on you?”

She pinches his side. It does almost nothing because he’s pure muscle. “The night before I went into that random heat, I had this dream. I was naked in this giant room and I was going into heat, and there were all these alphas who wanted to get to me. But you were there, and you fought every single one of them. And then you fucked me on the floor in front of all of them.”

Ben’s hands squeeze her. “You dreamed that?”

“Mm-hmm.” She nips at his neck. “Took me on all fours and called me yours.”

So swiftly she doesn’t see it happen, Ben sets her on the floor, pushing her onto all fours. “Like this?” he murmurs, his hips lining up with hers. 

She nods, her fingers gripping the rug. “Yes.”

He sinks into her. “You’re mine,” he growls, drawing back so that he can thrust into her. “Mine, mine,  _ mine _ .”

They spend the afternoon fucking until Rey can’t take it anymore. She lies, sweating and sated, on Ben’s bed while he throws on clothes and goes down to the car to get her luggage. 

She wakes up a couple hours later to Ben gently shaking her. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “But we need to head out soon for dinner with my parents.”

She groans. She’d forgotten about dinner with his parents. 

“I know,” he says sympathetically. “I don’t want to go either.”

“No, I want to go, I just...I need a shower. And coffee.”

And Ben, like a good alpha, brings her a steaming cup of coffee. She sips it from the window seat in his room. His neighborhood is nice. Orderly. Houses and apartments line the street in neat rows, some of them shaded by trees. There are kids playing on the sidewalk, and in the distance, Rey can hear the muffled sounds of the highway. 

She turns to see Ben just...watching her. 

“What?” she asks self-consciously.

He shakes his head, smiling. “Nothing. You just...you look like you belong.”

Rey doesn’t really know what to make of that. It makes her happy, for some reason. She smiles, setting aside her mug. “Let’s take a shower.”

They fuck again in the shower, filling the small room with their moans. After, he washes her hair and she suds up his back, kissing the marks she left on his skin. 

It isn’t until she’s at the mirror, mostly dressed and putting on her makeup, that she realizes her scent gland has a visible bite mark. She bites her lip. “Ben…”

“What’s up?” he asks from the bedroom. 

She turns to him, pointing at her neck. Ben, the scoundrel, doesn’t look a bit ashamed. “Good.”

“It’s not good, I’m going to meet your parents for the first time!”

“They know why you’re visiting,” he says. “And they know we haven’t seen each other in a while. They won’t care.”

_ Rey _ will care. But, she thinks with resignation, it’s not as if she can do much about it. Even if she had concealer, she knows that that could irritate her gland. 

Ben crosses to her, resting his hands on her shoulders as she stares at her reflection. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. 

“It’s...fine,” she sighs. “I just wanted to make a good impression.”

Ben drops his head to kiss the back of her neck. “You’ll make a great impression because they’ve already decided they love you,” he tells her. “They’re just excited I’m finally bringing someone home.”

“You’ve never brought someone home before?” she asks shyly. 

“Nope.” He kisses her neck again. “Just you.”

She didn’t know that. It makes her feel...nervous? Excited? Flattered?

“Hey.” He gazes at her through the mirror. “My parents will love you. They are so excited about meeting you. They know you’re here because of your heat and they know we haven’t seen each other in a long-ass time. And my mom’s an alpha, so she...gets it. The biting thing. And I promise she won’t think any less of you because  _ I _ couldn’t control myself.”

His words soothe her, and she finds herself relaxing under his hands. “Okay. I...thank you.”

He kisses her temple. “Don’t worry, kitten--I wouldn’t introduce you if I thought they would be anything other than completely in love with you.”

The drive to his parents’ house is quiet. Rey stares out the window at the city while Ben points out landmarks and other points of interest. She keeps smoothing out her skirt, and finally, Ben reaches over and twines his hand with hers. 

“Relax,” he says, kissing her knuckles. 

Ben’s parents live in a remote part of the city. The driveway is blocked by a gate; Ben casually punches in a security code that makes the gates open. He pulls up a long, tree-lined driveway to a large brick house. It  _ looks _ like the house of a senator. 

Ben wraps an arm around Rey’s shoulders as they walk up the path. She leans into him, breathing in his scent as they near the front door. It’ll be okay. Everything will be okay. 

Ben opens the front door, ushering Rey inside. She nearly trips when she sees the size of the foyer, big and open. The sound of the door shutting echoes. Somewhere in the house, she can hear voices.

“Hello?” Ben calls, his voice ringing in the open space. “We’re here.”

The voices in the back rise, and a moment later, two people emerge from behind the stairs. The first is a woman shorter than Rey, brown and gray hair pulled into a neat bun. Behind her is a man who looks to be about Ben’s height, maybe a little shorter; his hair is gray and his lips are quirked in a grin. 

“You must be Rey!” the woman exclaims, gliding towards her. To Rey’s surprise, Ben’s mother pulls her down for a hug. A tight, warm hug, the kind Rey imagines mothers give their children. It unexpectedly chokes her up.

“Hi,” she squeaks, doing her best to return the embrace. 

“We’ve been waiting  _ so long _ to meet you,” the older woman gushes. She pulls back, beaming up at Rey. If she sees the bite on her neck, she doesn’t show it. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs.--”

“ _ Don’t _ call me Mrs.,” the older woman says. “I’m  _ Leia _ , and this is my husband, Han.”

Han gives Rey a small wave. “Hi, Rey. I hope Ben warned you about us.”

“He did,” she laughs. 

“Mom, can you let go of Rey?”

“No,” Leia says, keeping one arm around Rey as she ushers her into the back of the house. “You get her for two weeks and I’ll get her for maybe two hours if I’m lucky.”

Rey likes Han and Leia a  _ lot _ . The couple is warm and funny, and they’ve perfected the art of bantering. Rey suddenly understands why Ben is so quiet around most people--it’s hard to get a word in edgewise with these two. Han and Leia ply her with food and wine while they tell stories about Ben growing up, stories that make him turn red with embarrassment. Leia even shows Rey a few childhood pictures, and when Ben loudly protests, she only says, “Kid, I’ve been planning to show your significant other embarrassing baby pictures since the day you were born.”

“This is why I’ve never brought anyone home before.”

While they’re waiting on dinner (Leia has a personal chef, which is something Rey is still trying to wrap her head around), Han and Leia give her a tour of the house. In the backyard is a pool, covered up now because it’s too cold to swim.

“You’ll have to see us again when it’s warm enough,” Leia says. 

It won’t be warm enough to open up the pool for months yet. Rey has no idea where she’ll be in a few months. The thought of staying with Ben that long…

She shivers.

“Mom, Rey’s cold,” Ben says, rubbing her back. “We should go back inside.”

“Oh my god, of course she is, she’s got no fat on her!” Leia exclaims, chivvying them all inside. 

Dinner is held in a dining room that Rey’s sure has seen much more distinguished guests. She answers all of Han and Leia’s questions, skirting around the unpleasant details of her childhood as much as possible. She can’t tell if Leia is used to playing the part of the attentive diplomat or if she’s genuinely fascinated by Rey--either way, she asks Rey hundreds of questions, eyes wide as she listens. She’s very good at listening. 

They’re sitting in the living room after dinner, chatting over decaf coffee and crumb cake, when Rey asks where the bathroom is. Like the eager mother and gracious hostess she is, Leia gets up to show her.

In the hallway outside the bathroom, Leia grasps her hand and smiles up at her. “Rey, I hope you know that you’re welcome here any time. I haven’t seen my son so happy in so long--he clearly loves you very much.” And with that, she squeezes Rey’s hand and glides back to the living room.

Rey, meanwhile, stands rooted to the spot.

_ He clearly loves you very much. _

...does he? He’s never said anything to Rey. Though, she has to admit, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

_ He clearly loves you very much _ . 

Does Leia  _ know _ that? Is she speaking as a mother who knows her son and a woman who knows what it is to be in love? Or is she speaking as a distant mother, one who wants her son to settle down and give her grandchildren so badly that it impairs her judgment?

Rey stumbles into the bathroom, hands shaking as she pulls down her tights and underwear.

_ He clearly loves you very much _ .

Does Ben love her? And...does she love him?

She hasn’t really given it much thought--which she supposes is because she never thought she’d get that far. She’d been bracing herself for a breakup for so long that it’s like she hadn’t let herself fall in love because it would only hurt when he inevitably left her. But it’s been four months and he hasn’t left her yet. It’s been four months and they’ve talked every day. He paid for her plane ticket out here, he’s introducing her to his  _ parents _ , something he’s never done before. Even if he doesn’t love her (and oh, that makes her stomach flutter), he definitely cares about her a lot. 

But. Does she love him?

That, she decides, is a question for another time, a time when she isn’t sitting on his mother’s toilet. 

Leia hugs her again before she and Ben leave. 

“Remember: you’re welcome  _ anytime _ ,” the older woman stresses.

“Thank you,” Rey murmurs.

Leia pats her cheek and smiles. 

“So,” Ben says as they pull out of the driveway. 

“So?”

“So, you’ve met my parents,” he says with a grimace. 

“I loved them,” Rey says. “I know they embarrass you, but I think they’re wonderful.”

His lips twitch. “Yeah, I got that.”

She reaches for his hand. “Your parents...they’re what I always wanted.”

Ben swallows and squeezes her hand.

They take a walk when they get back to his place. Rey is uncomfortably full, and besides, she wants to see the neighborhood. It’s pretty even at night—street lamps bathe the sidewalk in yellow light, and around them, Rey can see the telltale glow of a city. It’s not nearly as big as New York, but it’s still enough of a city to make her feel comfortable again. Safe in the confines of brick and mortar, not overwhelmed by a dark, endless space. 

“I miss cities,” she tells him. “They feel...right.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” he says. “We used to visit my uncle, and he lives in the middle of nowhere in Arizona. So much empty space...it always spooked me.”

“Yeah.”

He takes a deep breath. “Coming back here...it felt like coming home. As much as I tried to distance myself from my family, from this town...coming back felt right.”

“You love it here,” she observes.

“Yeah,” he admits. “I do.” He looks like he wants to say something else, but then he leans down to kiss her. “I’m glad you’re here,” he murmurs.

“Me too.”

He looks as if he’s going to say something.  _ Is he going to tell me he loves me? _ she wonders. 

But he just kisses her again. “Come on, kitten; let’s go to bed.”

Their lovemaking that night is slow and unhurried. Rey wraps her arms around his shoulders and looks up at him, hair falling into his dark eyes as he watches her come. She feels safe, looking into those eyes. She feels...right. Like she was made for him and he was made for her and everything is as it should be. 

_ I love him _ , she realizes.  _ I think I always did.  _

  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all uhhhhhh ready for a second heat?

She wakes up to Ben’s head between her legs. She sighs in contentment, eyes fluttering open. Ben is gazing up at her, kissing her inner thighs. 

“Morning,”  she mumbles sleepily.  _ I love him. I. Love. Him.  _

“Morning.” He licks her slit, stirring a moan out of her. He keeps licking and kissing until she’s wet, her hips rocking into his mouth. “I missed the way you taste,” he murmurs. “You taste so sweet, did you know that? Especially when my cum is inside you. You taste like you were made just for me.”

She moans again, fingers threading through his hair. His tongue laps up her arousal, his hands curling around her hips as he licks deeper inside her. He really does like the taste of her, humming in satisfaction as she gets wetter and wetter. One hand reaches for her clit, circling the little nub, and with a gasp she comes undone, cunt clenching around his tongue as her back arches off the bed. 

She’s barely had time to catch her breath before Ben is climbing up the bed, flipping her onto her stomach. He strokes his length and then pushes against her sopping wet entrance, one hand curling in her hair and tugging her head back so that her spine arches. Then he drives into her, the hands at her hips pulling her up and holding her still as he fucks her. Her hands fist in the sheets, her breath ragged as they fill the room with the sound of skin meeting skin. 

.

Ben takes her out to brunch later that morning. She eats lightly, knowing that her stomach will reject excess food if and when her heat comes. She tries not to think too much about it, focusing instead on her strawberry and nutella crepes.

After, they walk around downtown. It actually feels like autumn here, a light nip in the air and dead leaves on the ground. Rey feels a little feverish, and she must smell because Ben looks at her hopefully.

“Not yet,” she says. “My body always does this if I skip my dosage--it starts having heat-like symptoms so that I remember to take my suppressants. It doesn’t mean anything yet.”

He looks disappointed, so she takes his hand. “The gyno said the best way to bring it on is to keep my heart rate up. Let’s keep walking, okay?”

They walk all over the city. Ben even drives them to Harvard so that they can walk around the campus.

“I almost went here, you know,” he admits, hands in his pockets. “Everyone thought I would because, I mean, Harvard.”

“Why didn’t you?” she asks.

“I didn’t want to be another senator’s son, an  _ alpha _ son, who becomes an Ivy League asshole. And I wanted to get away from my parents.”

“Do you regret it?” she can’t help but ask. “Not going to Harvard?”

“Sometimes, yeah,” he admits. “If I’d gone there, I would’ve had...opportunities after graduation. Maybe they would’ve been more about my connections than what I could do, but I would’ve had them.” He takes a deep breath. “But because I went to a small, practically unheard of school, I know that I earned every job I had after college. Up until now, anyway.”

She takes his hand. “You earned this job, too. Taking a shortcut every now and then is okay. It’s worked out for the better, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah. I don’t know. I just want...to earn the things I get.” He kisses her forehead. “Rey, are you sure you’re not going into heat? You’re really warm. And you smell…” He leans in, breathing her in. “You  _ smell _ hot.”

“It’s starting,” she says quietly. She can feel the warmth seep into her veins, the first cramps of a system preparing to go into survival mode. She hadn’t been sure before, but now she is. Her heat is starting right on time. “I’m not...it’s not time yet, but it’s...starting.” 

He nuzzles her nose. “Fuck. The way you smell right now...and you’re not on suppressants…”

She feels the first layer of slick begin to pool inside her. “Let’s go home,” she murmurs. 

_ Home _ .

As they walk back to the car, Rey’s heart pumping faster than normal, they pass a group of college-aged alpha boys. All of their heads whip up as the breeze carries Rey’s scent towards them. Ben glowers at them, arm wrapped possessively around Rey. The boys do nothing, but Rey spies a couple of them twitching. The effect is intoxicating. These boys, these  _ alphas _ , can smell her, and it’s made them nearly lose their senses. Ben would absolutely fight them if he had to. She thinks of her dream, the one where Ben fought all those alphas and then mounted her in front of them. 

He drives quickly back to the brownstone, glancing over at her every now and then.

“It won’t happen for a few more hours,” she tells him. She closes her eyes, leaning back against her seat. “What happened last time was...unusual.”

“I know.” He takes a deep breath. “I just…”

“I know,” she murmurs. “I feel it too.”

He insists on carrying her up the stairs to his apartment. She protests that she’s still able to walk, but Ben seems determined to be as alpha as possible; he slings her over his shoulder and carries her easily up to his place. 

“What do you need?” he asks when he sets her down. “What...what can I do?”

She smiles at his concern. “I’m a little tired—I just want to lie down for a bit. You can...I don’t know, watch tv or read a book or...whatever. You’ll know when I’m ready.”

He kisses her forehead, breathing her in again. “Okay. Let me know if you need anything.”

Rey changes into pajamas and curls up on his bed. Normally, she takes a sleeping pill or two around now so that she can sleep through this part, but it won’t last long, and then she’ll be ready and Ben will knot her and everything will be  _ right _ .

She drifts in and out of sleep, her body hot and slightly aching. Dimly, she can hear the clack of Ben’s keyboard in the living room. 

It’s late afternoon when she wakes with a start, a light sheen of sweat on her skin. Her cunt is so, so slick, spasming hungrily around empty air.  _ I need a knot _ , she thinks wildly.  _ I need it, it’s time, I’ll die if I don’t have it. _

In the next room, she hears the clacking stop. Then she hears his footsteps, surprisingly light for a man his size, and then he’s standing in the doorway, staring at her. 

She nods.

Ben  _ pounces _ . All six-foot-three of him leaps onto the bed like a cat attacking its prey. He pins her under him easily, his scent glands expanding and contracting as he smells her. 

“I need you,” she tells him, her hips desperately seeking his.

“Oh kitten,” he murmurs, grinding his stiffening member into her soaked underwear. “I know.”

How he gets their clothes off, she doesn’t quite remember; all she knows is that one minute she’s aching for him, the emptiness in her unbearable, and the next he’s sheathed within her, a string of curses falling from his lips as he fucks her. She hears an animal outside their window making the filthiest noises, and then she realizes that the noises are coming from  _ her _ . 

She comes on Ben’s knot, purring in satisfaction when her cunt finally, finally has something to squeeze properly. He rolls onto his back, allowing her to splay out comfortably on his chest.

“That’s my good little omega,” he murmurs, and the words send a thrill down her spine.  _ I’m a good omega, I’m good, he’s pleased with me, my alpha is happy _

She lifts her chin, smiling contentedly as he strokes her scent gland. It’s hypersensitive, both from her heat and from Ben marking her there twenty four hours ago, and the pad of his thumb on her gland sends the most delicious sensations up her spine. 

“I like seeing you all marked up by me,” he continues. “So everyone can see that you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” she echoes. It feels  _ right _ , to belong to him. How could she have been embarrassed about that mark last night? So what if his parents saw? She wants  _ everyone _ to see, to know that she’s his omega.

She lets out a small moan, her hips rolling at the thought. Ben grins at her. “I felt that.”

She sits up, rocking her hips as much as she can with his knot inside her. It feels good,  _ he _ feels good, and when she shifts the angle of her hips she comes with a shout. Ben looks up at her like he thinks she’s the most wonderful thing he’s ever seen.

.

They don’t sleep at all that first night. Ben fucks her over and over, always ready to give as much as she’s ready to take. He gets up a couple times to use the bathroom and make sure they both drink water, and while Rey logically knows that these are things he has to do to survive, it always makes her deeply anxious. She only relaxes when he returns, her fears that he’s going to leave her, that she’s going to die from lack of Ben, melting into bliss when he grabs her and pushes inside her once more. 

She loses track of time after that. She doesn’t know how long she sleeps, only that her own body wakes her up, cramping and clenching for Ben. She doesn’t even have to do anything; he must be able to smell her need in his sleep because he always wakes up with her, rolling on top of her and filling her with his cock until her agonized whimpers fade into mewls of pleasure. He takes such good care of her, giving her what she needs before she even thinks of it. She never wants to be with anyone else, she wants Ben and only Ben for as long as she lives. 

In the moments she’s lucid, she thinks of telling him that she loves him. Maybe he’ll say it back, and then he’ll bite that gland on her back and she’ll really and truly be his.

But she knows, even in her feverish, wanton haze, that that is a bad idea. She shouldn’t say it while she’s in heat. She should be clear-headed when it happens. 

If it happens.

There’s a part of her that’s afraid she’ll wake up to an empty bed. Whatever she and Ben have gone through together, she can’t help remembering what happened after her last heat. What if things go horribly south after this one?

The thought doesn’t last, because soon she finds herself in that haze, her entire body aching for him, and then all she knows is Ben’s scent and Ben’s knot and Ben, Ben, only Ben. 

.

To Ben’s credit, Rey never wakes up to an empty bed. The handful of times he leaves the bed, he always tells her, “I’m just going to the bathroom,” or, “We need to eat, I’m going to get some grapes from the fridge.” He even leaves the door open so she can hear him. It reminds her vaguely of one of her old foster homes, when the toddler living with her had separation anxiety and had to come with her into the bathroom. 

Except Ben won’t let her come with him. He won’t let her get out of bed. It’s terribly alpha of him, and Rey loves it, even if she does get anxious when he leaves. She likes how he takes care of her, refusing to let her exert herself beyond their coupling. She feels  _ beloved _ . 

“I wish it was always like this,” she admits once, his body curled around hers. 

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “Me too.”

.

Late Monday night, so late it’s practically Tuesday, Rey’s scent begins to shift. She still has the rest of the week and then all of next week with Ben, but already her flight back looms over her head. She starts to cry, and because she’s locked to Ben, he feels her tears on his bare skin.

“What is it, kitten?” he asks softly.

“I don’t want it to be over,” she tells him. “Any of it.”

He brushes his thumb over her lashes, sweeping away her tears. “Don’t think about that now,” he murmurs. “Don’t think about anything that isn’t you and me, right here and now.” He rolls her onto her back, reaching down to kiss her. “It’s just you and me,” he whispers. “Nothing else.”

“I love you,” she tells him, as easily and as calmly as if she tells him every day. 

And then the last wave of her heat rolls over her and she forgets everything else.

  
  



	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost at the end, y'all!! Technically, this is the end; next chapter will be a teeny-tiny epilogue. This will also be a short chapter, but a lot happens, so I hope you'll forgive me!

She wakes up to a room that reeks of sex. Ben isn’t beside her, which makes her heart start thumping--but then she hears him tapping on his keyboard and she relaxes. She pads out of the bedroom, smiling as she sees him sitting at the table. He’s wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, and she can tell by his scent that he’s showered. He looks up as she draws near, his face unreadable. “Hello.”

“Hi.” She sits on his lap, nuzzling the glands at his neck. “What are you working on?

“Nothing.” He strokes her thigh. “How do you feel?”

“Tired. Sore. All in a good way.”

He hesitates. “Rey, do you remember what you said last night?”

“Uh...no?” She doesn’t remember a lot of her heat, only that it was exquisite. “Why?”

He releases a breath. “It’s. Nothing.” He gives her hip a gentle pat. “You should take a shower.”

That...surprises Rey. It shouldn’t, she thinks—she’s sure she reeks. She is, after all, covered in three days’ worth of cum and sweat. But the way he says it…

She forces a smile. “Okay.” 

She takes a long and thorough shower, scrubbing her skin raw. She does feel better when she gets out—that is, until she sees Ben wearing a suit. 

“What…?”

“Something came up at work,” he says, pulling on a scarf. “I have to go.”

Rey stands rooted to the spot, clutching her towel to her chest. “Now? Today?”

“It won’t be long,” he says, not quite meeting her eyes. “You won’t even know I’m gone.”

She feels as if he’s kicked her in the stomach. “But…”

“I’ll be back,” he says, kissing the top of her head. “Help yourself to anything.” And then he’s clattering out the door.

Rey feels sick. If she had anything in her system, she’d throw up.

_ So that’s it, _ she thinks bleakly. Just like last time, he’s pushing her away. Except last time, he’d done it because he thought she didn’t care for him. What’s his excuse this time?

She washes the sheets, pillowcases, and comforter, just so she won’t have to smell them anymore. She opens the windows, too, to let fresh air permeate the smell of them. All the while she feels angry and exhausted. 

_ He clearly loves you very much _ .

What a load of horse shit. Ben doesn’t love her. If he loved her, he wouldn’t have just left her here right after her heat. At least last time he’d stuck around, had driven her to the doctor. Now it’s like he can’t wait to get away from her. 

_ Why _ ? Why would he fly her over here and invite her to stay for two weeks when he couldn’t even make it through the first one? Something had to have happened. Some...change. She tries to think back and pinpoint the moment things shifted. He’d been fine before today. And before her heat he’d been eager and attentive.

Something must have happened during her heat. She must have...done or said something. But all she can really remember saying is  _ more _ and  _ please _ and  _ alpha _ . What was it he’d said when she woke up? 

_ Do you remember what you said last night? _

What  _ had _ she said? They hadn’t really talked. Well, they had for a little bit when she realized her heat was ending. What had she said?

_ I don’t want it to be over. Any of it. _

She hadn’t really said anything after that. He’d told her it was just him and her and nothing else, and she’d…

Oh.

Oh  _ fuck _ . 

She’d told him she loved him.

So. That explains that. It also feels like another kick to the gut.

She told Ben she loved him...and he left. Granted, he waited until she was out of heat, but...still.

She’s hot with shame, her eyes prickling. He  _ definitely _ doesn’t love her back. And that’s...it’s fine, really, she shouldn’t expect it of him. Alphas don’t like commitment. They don’t like saying “the l word”, they don’t like clingy omegas. 

_ You’re clingy _ , the voice in her head tells her.  _ You’re clingy and needy and you love a man who will never love you back _ .

Rey cries. She can’t help it. It isn’t just Ben; she doesn’t think anyone has ever loved her. Her mother certainly hadn’t. None of her foster parents had. And the handful of people she’d dated in college hadn’t loved her, either. Even her friends from college don’t really talk to her anymore. Finn and Rose... _ like _ her, sort of, but not enough to tell her the truth. And Poe...Poe just wants to fuck her. Ben was her only friend back home, and he...he doesn’t love her. 

_ You are unlovable _ , that voice tells her.  _ You cling so hard people can’t breathe and then they just want to get rid of you. _

The sun sets as she lays new sheets on the bed, moving the washed ones to the dryer. She should go. Ben clearly doesn’t want to be around her, and she doesn’t think she’ll be able to handle another week and a half staying here. If she gets a flight tonight, she can spend tomorrow catching up on rest. She could even keep taking the rest of the week off and then go back on Monday--she could save her vacation days for another time. Maybe, she thinks spitefully, she’ll fuck Poe anyway. Anything to get rid of the memory of Ben, to wash his scent from her.

She looks up flights while she washes her clothes. She could try to make one of the later flights tonight. Or she could get an early morning flight and kip out in the terminal. 

She’s still deliberating this, throwing some of her clothes in her suitcase, when Ben comes home. He looks at the suitcase and then up at her.

“What’s going on?”

She takes a deep breath. She’d hoped to leave before he got back, but she supposes it’s better to do this in person anyway. “I think I should go.”

Ben’s face pales. “...oh.”

That’s it. Just.  _ Oh _ . 

She takes another deep breath. “It’s obvious that you’re uncomfortable being around me now and I don’t want to impose on you anymore than I already have--”

“You’re not--” He runs his hands through his hair. “You’re not...imposing, I...please don’t go…” He takes a step towards her, looking both as if he wants to touch her and as if he’s afraid to. “I know I shouldn’t have walked out like that, I just...I needed to think…”

She looks down at her feet. “It’s okay,” she says quietly. “It’s okay that you don’t love me back.”

There’s a silence so loud it’s nearly deafening. Then:

“ _ What _ ?” He almost sounds angry. “You think...you think  _ I _ don’t love you?”

She looks up at him, swallowing. “You didn’t...that’s why you left, isn’t it? Because I said it and it made you uncomfortable because you...you don’t love me back.” Her voice breaks on this last bit.

Ben looks ready to tear out his hair. “You said you didn’t remember it! When I asked you earlier?”

“I didn’t remember it until after you left,” she says with a wince. “I thought that’s why you left.” Hope, small and scared, stirs inside her. “Is that...not why you left?”

Ben closes his eyes for a moment, licking his lips. “So just...just to clarify...you’re saying you  _ do _ love me?”

“Yes,” she says, “but you--”

Ben crosses the room and kisses her. 

“I thought you didn’t love me,” he says when he finally lets her up for air. “I thought you didn’t know what you were saying...and when I asked you about it today and you said you didn’t remember…”

The pieces start to click into place. “Ben, are you saying you l--”

“Yes,” he cuts her off with an impatient kiss. “Yes, I love you, I’ve been in fucking love with you forever.”

She stares at him, unable to believe what she’s hearing. “You never said it.”

He winces. “I was afraid of scaring you off. I didn’t want you to feel...I don’t know, like I was trying to control you.” He cups her jaw. “Rey...sweetheart...please don’t leave.”

For some reason, all she can think to say is, “Your mum was right.”

Ben frowns. “What?”

“Your mum...she said you...what was it? You clearly love me very much.”

He huffs. “Well, she was right.”

Rey’s heart sings.  _ He loves me. He loves me very much. _ “You love me.”

“I love you,” he agrees, kissing her. He smiles. “And you love me.”

“I love you,” she echoes. 

Ben picks her up, wrapping her legs around his waist as he carries them to the bed. Dimly, she thinks of the new sheets she just laid down--but it’s hard to care when he’s kissing her like that. “Don’t go,” he murmurs. “Stay. Stay forever.”

“Forever?” she echoes, groping blindly to take off his clothes. 

He kisses her again. “Forever. Don’t go back there. Live here. With me.”

She pulls back, looking at him with half-lidded eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” he says. “I love you and you love me and I want you to live with me.” He kneels in front of the bed, pulling off her socks. “You’d be so much happier here, kitten, in a real city. You could get another job. Or you could stay at home, I don’t care. I’d take care of you no matter what. I took this apartment because you liked it--I want it to be your home.”

She feels drunk off of the last few minutes. He loves her. He wants her to live with him. He picked out this apartment for  _ her _ . 

“Rey,” he says softly, his eyes imploring. “Move in with me.”

“Yes,” she says, even though it wasn’t really a question. She smiles down at him. “Yes, I’ll move in with you.”

He surges up to kiss her. “Rey,” he murmurs.

“Will you,” she starts to ask, and then wonders if that’s too much. But how can it be, after all the things they’ve just shared?

“Will I what, kitten?” he asks, sounding like a man ready to grant anything. 

“Mate me,” she says, looking in his eyes. “Will you mate me?”

His eyes go dark. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask,” he growls, and then it’s like her heat all over again. Their clothes end up...somewhere, and then she’s on her stomach, her hands fisting the sheets as he pushes his cock inside her. She’s so wet already, her cunt clenching in anticipation. Ben kisses her neck, scraping his teeth over her mating gland. It feels  _ divine _ . She moans, hips wiggling as she comes that much closer. 

“You are mine,” he whispers. “And I am yours.” And then he bites down on her gland.

It’s like nothing Rey has ever experienced before. She comes for what feels like an eternity, her mouth open in a silent scream. She sees stars and moons and whole other worlds, and all the while she feels Ben’s mouth on her back, his teeth marking and claiming her. She will always smell like him, she will always belong to him.

_ You are mine and I am yours _ . The words feel ancient and laden with meaning, a ritual as old as the dawn of man. They are two halves of one soul. Alpha and omega, beginning and end, infinite in their togetherness. 

  
  



	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...we did it, y'all! We're at the end <3 
> 
> Thank you so, so much for sticking around. This was my first real foray into omegaverse and it's been such a delight. If you liked my a/b/o, I've written another fic for the Reylo Charity Anthology, so if you're not contributing, make sure to donate to get a copy! If contributing and donating aren't in your capabilities, I'll post it on ao3 in January.
> 
> If you like my writing, next week I'll be posting the first chapter of my accidental pregnancy au, "Thank You for the Music". 
> 
> Enjoy <3

“Well, that’s the last of it.” Rey dusts off her hands. Her apartment wasn’t exactly spacious, but it still surprises her to see most of her worldly goods packed into a tiny cargo trailer. She’s sold most of her furniture as Ben already has plenty, all of it nicer than hers--most of what’s in the trailer are her clothes and books, and a few art pieces she got in New York and can’t bear to get rid of, even though she’s pretty sure Ben would rather die than hang them up in his apartment.

_ Their _ apartment.

Her name is already on the lease, something Ben took care of almost as soon as she agreed to move in with him. It makes her smile to think that the brownstone she fell in love with is  _ hers _ now. Leaving here feels...right. She’s going home. Home to her brownstone in Boston.

She’d put in her two weeks’ notice while her mating gland was still throbbing with Ben’s bite. He’d insisted, almost as if he’d been afraid she’d change her mind. She’d been happy to do it, typing up an email as fast as possible so that she could crawl back into bed with Ben.

Peavey had, predictably, been furious, and had fired her in his responding email. Rey could theoretically take him to HR or even to court, but truthfully, she doesn’t care enough to do so. It doesn’t matter. She has a home and a mate who will provide for her and take care of her while she hunts for a new job. Preferably, a job where she isn’t the only omega in the office.

Ben wraps his arm around her shoulders, pulling her from her reverie. “You ready?”

She smiles up at him. “ _ So _ ready.”

She won’t miss much about this place. She’ll miss Finn and Rose, but she’s Facebook friends with both of them now and knows from getting drinks with them last night that they’re quietly interviewing for jobs in Chicago and Indianapolis. The only other person Rey will miss is Kaydel, and she’s apparently moving to California to be with her girlfriend. Give it a few months and there will be absolutely no one and nothing that would make Rey miss this place. Which is just as well--she doesn’t plan to come back.

They get into Rey’s car, Ben blasting the A/C because he is always hot. Rey takes a deep breath, hands gripping the wheel.

“You gonna be okay?” he asks softly.

“Yeah.” She smiles at him. “I’m gonna be great.” She flicks his arm. “But I don’t know how I’m supposed to drive all the way to Boston with you and your incredibly unappealing alpha scent.”

“Yeah, you smell really terrible too,” he agrees. “I might have to roll down the windows so I don’t throw up.”

“Maybe we should go back on suppressants.”

He tugs down the back of her shirt, nipping at her mating gland. “Hmm. No.”

She can’t help grinning like an idiot when he straightens up. “I love you.”

Ben kisses her. “I love you too, kitten.”

Rey pulls out of the parking lot and onto the road, to the highway, to Boston, and to her new home. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Come say on [Tumblr!](https://spacedarcy.tumblr.com)


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